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What is a NOOB?


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AuthorMessage
No avatar
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 18:45
Author: Blocked
Ok, so someone asked what a n00b was, and I was directed to this source by a member, I found it a bit funny, and figured I would share it with you all:

1. Noob

A. INTRO
I. What is this?
II. Defining 'Noob'

B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS
I. Noobish
II. Where to find noobs
III. Behavior of noobs
IV. Noob religion
V. More about noob habitats

C. AVOIDING NOOBS
I. Make sure you aren't one
II. Major noob avoiding strategies


A. INTRO

I. What is this?
This guide is designed to give you a better understanding of what a noob is, how to recognize them, some details about them, and how to avoid or get rid of them. It mostly applies to online forums, which are the main targets of migrating noobs.

II. Defining 'Noob'
Contrary to the belief of many, a noob/n00b and a newbie/newb are not the same thing. Newbs are those who are new to some task* and are very beginner at it, possibly a little overconfident about it, but they are willing to learn and fix their errors to move out of that stage. n00bs, on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They expect people to do the work for them and then expect to get praised about it, and make up a unique species of their own. It is the latter we will study in this guide so that the reader is prepared to encounter them in the wild if needed.

Noobs are often referred to as n00bs as a sign of disrespect toward them, and it's often hella funny, but I will refer to them as noobs during this reading.

* Usually the topic at hand on an internet forum.

B. COMMON NOOB CHARACTERISTICS

I. Noobish
Often, but not always, noobs will attempt to communicate in their own primitive language, known as "n00bish." It is a variant of the hacker language that exposes them as having little intelligence or will to learn. Here is an example of some noobish. Do not attempt to comprehend it: it cannot be discerned without professionals at hand.

stFU /../..an, i r teh r0xx0rz liek emin3m, u cna go tO EHLL OR ATLE4St help m3 wit hthIS!!111!!!!!!!1~~1!!``!! LOLLOLOLLOLOLlOoLLOlollLLl u n00b

Although you may find this unbelievably funny and/or annoying, it is best to restrain yourself and keep from talking back to them, as they are very territorial and easily angered. This will result in their attempted verbal abuse of you, possibly backed up by other noobs, because they work in packs when doing offensive tasks. It is not an easy task to learn this language because our intelligent accent will keep it from sounding quite right when spoken. You can write some simple noobish of your own, however, by slamming your face into your keyboard repeatedly.

II. Where to find n00bs
On the internet, n00bs make their colonies on forums. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends, and proceed to clog up bandwidth with stupid questions and sometimes even stupid answers. If you happen to be unfortunate enough to be on a board large enough to attract migrating noobs, there will hopefully be authority in charge who is smart enough to take extermination measures before they can make nests and larger colonies. THE BANNER HAMMER is one form of authority.

Larger colonies can result in the mutation of some into spammers. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear.

Off the internet, noobs appear anywhere the focus is on learning or discussing something specific.

III. Behavior of noobs
Since noobs are basically ignorant bastards, they have a lot in common. The most often seen characteristic is their fluency in noobish, which is why it got its own section. They will also be very self confident as if they were the absolute best at what they are in fact the worst at. Also, they are quite agressive and self-centered, and tend to laugh a lot using many L's and O's in rapid sucession (the noobish word for laughing like an ultimate retard).

It is their instinct to assemble in packs for defense, and they often attempt to organize packs that they call teams. Unfortunately for them, teams usually result in a total loss of communication and they can often begin to fight amongst each other. These teams are quite unlike those formed by non-noobs.

Noobs have difficulty reading English and cannot comprehend the idea of authority.

Therefore, they have an all-out disregard for rules, basic or not. A good way to identify a noob (bad) vs. a newb (good) is to tell them (or have an authority tell them) which rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond with an apology and fix it, they are probably not a noob. If they react by insulting everything around them in rapid noobish and causing general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to their inability to understand what is happening.

IV. Noob Religion
Noobs follow a variation of the 1337 (sometimes 7331) religion, in which they worship the number in odd rituals and put altars in their forum avatars and signatures. They often call themselves 1337, which experts say is somewhat like calling themselves godly in a human language. It's best to not interfere with their religious fantasies and practices because that can lead to a noob uprising, which can turn a forum to mush in less than a week.

V. More about noob habitats
Noobs often attempt to maintain their own web pages. Some common features of these lairs are a terrible lack of content, background music, lots of pointless animated gifs, and pages that say some variation of 'tHEir isnothinG H34r yEtt LOLLOLOL!111!1!!~~~!!`! 13371337', which means 'Nothing here yet' in noobish.

They will also have large, seemingly infinite marquees of 88X31 affiliate buttons replaced with red X's scattered here and there, and possibly a hit counter showing a number less than 100. These habitats are numerous but fairly easy to avoid because only noobs link to them. So if you can identify a noob, don't go to its homepage. Simple as that.

C. AVOIDING NOOBS

I. Make sure you aren't one
Note: This section is bilingual so even noobs can make the discovery if they haven't already.

English (T4lk)-

Read the above parts of this guide carefully. If you find yourself unable to comprehend any of it but are instead beginning to think about how great you are and how awesome 'teh 1337' is, you might want to take one of the many available online quizzes to check your noobancy.

Noobish (133713371337)- Liek, u gott4 re3D teh gudieCAREFUl1y and tehn OMG LIEK I AM R0XX0RZ ya anD ify 0u turn into teh reTARDED u gota go 2 MY WEBP4GE LOLLOLOL!!111~11 ad check 4 warez n stfuu. if u r a n00b go2HELL LOLLOLOlROFLMFAO11!!!11!!!! a/s/l pos gtg n00b suxx0rz ur b0xx0rz OLOOOLOLLLL HELP HELP HELP 1337133713371337

II. Major noob avoiding strategies
The main factor in attracting migrating herds of noobs is a large, active forum. If you find one of these, look to see if it has the management to avoid noob infestation. If not, look for a small or mid-sized forum that covers the same topic so you can enjoy your time there before the noobs find it.

Another way to keep noobs from interfering with your life is to become part of the authority on one of these forums. But that's often hard to do so you'll probably be better off avoiding larger forums first off. If you do manage to become part of the authority, however, take full advantage of it and establish extermination policies so that normal people can have a nice time without noob infestations.
Noob Talk: LAlWAlwalwalWAWLAWLAWA!~!~!~!!!11!!! 1M NOtttt N0000BZ

2. noob

A noob or n00b is someone that lacks intelligence or common sense, most people think that noob is a word used only in the online gaming world, but in reality it is becoming an ever popular word with teenage society.
a noob could be simply a level 100 running round shouting ''WTF DO I GO!?'' or someone calling someone else a noob and then getting hit with a brick, anyone can call anyone a noob, but normally they are noobs themselves
*gets shot with chaingun*

"this game is no good, you all suck noobish balls you stupid noobs!"

3. noob

aka-noobie
someone who is new to a game, or website, online game, or something.
"lets go mess with the weak little noobs"

noob-56631.jpg

4. noob

A "noob" is a person who is new or inexperienced in a subject, usually an online game. Noobs are usually annoying and excessively stupid. Do not confuse noobs with newbs, who are inexperienced players that tend to be more mature and strive to become better.
Noob: can i hav muneys pplsplsplsplzz!!11
Newb: Would you mind sparing me some money?
-LATER-
Noob: pl0x sir!! money plszzz!!!111111111
Newb: Okay. :(

5. noob

derived from online video games.
often confused with the term newb or newbie, but instead of meaning new to the game as the latter does, noob refers to people who have played the game for a whiel but still suck balls and are ignorant, selfish, and lack the most important skill of all, teamwork.
this guy is a total noob and he never learns, must have never participated in sports while growing up. What a fag.

7. noob

noob is derived from the word 'new'
it implies that you are inexperienced
sometimes it is used as slang for 'you suck'

I once knew this noob named Eric.

8. noob

Someone that completely and utterly sucks at what they are doing. This can range from cooking food, to playing Halo or other games.

The word noob should NOT be used with the word "newb" or "newbie." These words have completely different definitions and meanings to them, which will be explained next.

A newb is someone that is new to what they are doing. This can range from having a new job, making burgers at McDonalds, to playing Call of Duty 4 for the first time.

A noob is always mistaken in many different ways of forms by several people. Below is a list compiled of several different actions a noob would do, so people will not mistake someone for a noob again. These are just a few examples of what a noob would do, but not all of them.

A noob would...
Walk into fire
TYPE IN ALL CAPS
kill his own teammates on accident
Type in bright colors
Play on an easy difficulty setting
State the obvious (Ex: Our flag has been taken!)
Sing, when they suck at it.
Type random letters
Spam you with messages
Burn food he/she is cooking on accident
Forget to wear their headset
Scream into their headset
Have more deaths than kills
Lose any game (Ex: Halo, Chess, Checkers, Counter-Strike)
Lose repeatedly
Get owned by the same guy repeatedly
Make the same joke over and over again
Steal other people's ideas
Not use proper grammar when they type (Ex: do u wanna go to the mall wit justin and i)
Camp in the same spot over and over again, even when they get killed there.
Fail a test
Have a virus on their PC
Things that a noob would say:
do u wanna go to the mall wit justin and i
OMGGG OUR FLAG HAS BEEN TAKEN!!!!1!
I wonder what this button does...

Jerry! Why did you walk into my flame thrower? You're such a noob.

9. Noob

"Noob" is a term frequently used in online gaming, and pertains to immature ignoramuses with no grammatical/vocabulary skills. In technical terms, a noob can be referred to as an ultracrepidarian, inaniloquent, autohagiographer.
Every noob can be described as having one or more of these qualities.
Ultracrepidarian: A person who gives opinions on matters beyond their knowledge.
Inaniloquent: Speaking foolishly or saying stupid things.
Autohagiographer: A person who talks in a conceited manner about their own life and accomplishments.

Calling a noob an "ultracrepidarian, inaniloquent, autohagiographer" can yield interesting and often entertaining results.

An example of a noob being ultracrepidarian:

Noob: oh ya????? well ur ugly and hav no lyf! u jus sit at teh pc all day talking mean 2 ppl! U FAIL!!!11!

An example of a noob being inaniloquous:

Noob: roflololllollol omg ur such a n00b! i own ur FACE!!!!1!1!!~~~11!!

An example of a noob being an autohagiographer:

Noob: omg so im lyk rly rly rich and prtty and every1 lyks me and... etc.

10. noob

Noob
1. A noob is a person who really sucks at a game but refuses to learn/listen to people who are skilled. Many of them may have been playing the game for a while, but still suck at it. They usually have no hope.

2. Noobs generally get extremely upset over being beaten and can not admit that they are bad at the game. Often they will accuse the skilled people of hacking.

3. This word is an insult in general so people often wrongly use it and just call somebody that they do not like a noob, regardless of skill.

4. This term is often confused with the term "newb," and people who confuse these terms are usually either noobs themselves, or somebody who is good but is just mean (and has a lot of pride for being skilled).

Newb
1. Newb comes from "newbie." Somebody new to a game and they will generally suck at it. However, the reason that they suck is because of their unfamiliarity to the game. They have the potential to become good. This is not a derogatory term.

2. Also, newbs are not always bad at the game, as they may have played similar games in the past, but when it comes to knowing where things are, or information- they don't know.

Noob
1. Player: Hey man you keep getting killed, I'd recomend using a sniper rifle in this large zone, rather than that shotgun.
Noob: dude stfu i no wat im doin *gets killed again*

2. *noob gets killed yet again*
Noob: WTF u freaking hacker u suck
Player: Err...No I've just had the game for quite a while.
Noob: STFU
Player: .....Alright I have had enough of you, noob. *begins to kill the noob specifically over anybody else*

3. *Player1 spawns and picks up a shotgun*
Player2: wtf taht shotgun shuld be minez i was rite there 2 pick it up.
Player1: Sorry, I guess I got it.
Player2: u freaking noob i hate u.
Player1: Dude, we are on the same team, it benefits you as well.
Player2: SCREW U NOOB!!!111

4. Newplayer: Hey where is the enemy base?
Skilledplayer: ROFL NOOB
Newplayer: err....sorry I'm new.
Skilledplayer: LOL at you!!!!112@@
Newplayer: ....

Newb
1. Player: Hey man you really need to work on your shooting. You don't seem to know where you are going either.
Newplayer: ...Yeah I just got the game....sorry.
Player: Yeah, I remember back when I was a newb. You'll get better, and learn where things are.

2. Newplayer: Hey where is the enemy base?
Player: Wow, I saw you shooting pretty well. How could you not know that?
Newplayer: I just got the game, sorry. I'm kind of a newb.
Player: But damn you shoot well.
Newplayer: Yeah, I played game X before, so I have experience with these kinds of games. But now I'm moving on to this game.
Player: Cool. Alright follow me, their base is over here.

11. Noob

One who is offended by this term.
John: "You're a noob."

Noob: "What!? What did you just call me?! I can pwn you boy with my 1337 skillz in Halo, GoW, WoW, CS, SC, MoH, BMW, YMCA, DUI, RDLGQ2UYZRT!! And-and also ..." etc.

John: "I rest my case."

12. noob

a totally stupid person on an online game rpg. they are oftentimes ignorant, dumb, and completly incompatant. in most cases, noobs are frowned apon by the community, as they are a burden and all they do is pester people who are trying to have a good time on an online game rpg. i once met a noob sooo noobish one time, that he couldnt figure out who i was talking to, and when it was me talking...see below
pot head370: ok richie109 go thru that door
cream5: me?
pot head370: did i say cream? no i said richie109.
cream5: wait me? u want me to go thru the door?
pot head370: No, goddammit! i want richie to go thru the door
cream5: ok ill go thru the door u dont have to yell
pot head370: you stupid motherfucker! go up the stairs and leave me alone
cream5: how do i go up the stairs? im lost! help me!
pot head370: you fucking noob!


noob 14 sounds n00b nub newb newbie pwn owned lol pwned idiot loser 1337 retard gay noobie fag leet runescape noobs stupid own halo wow nooblet nerd rofl fail pwnage ownage dumbass internet wtf gamer bitch pro moron mmorpg game ass omg froob stfu nublet faggot games pwnd dumb choob gaming asshole shit


8. noob

Someone that completely and utterly sucks at what they are doing. This can range from cooking food, to playing Halo or other games.

The word noob should NOT be used with the word "newb" or "newbie." These words have completely different definitions and meanings to them, which will be explained next.

A newb is someone that is new to what they are doing. This can range from having a new job, making burgers at McDonalds, to playing Call of Duty 4 for the first time.

A noob is always mistaken in many different ways of forms by several people. Below is a list compiled of several different actions a noob would do, so people will not mistake someone for a noob again. These are just a few examples of what a noob would do, but not all of them.

A noob would...
Walk into fire
TYPE IN ALL CAPS
kill his own teammates on accident
Type in bright colors
Play on an easy difficulty setting
State the obvious (Ex: Our flag has been taken!)
Sing, when they suck at it.
Type random letters
Spam you with messages
Burn food he/she is cooking on accident
Forget to wear their headset
Scream into their headset
Have more deaths than kills
Lose any game (Ex: Halo, Chess, Checkers, Counter-Strike)
Lose repeatedly
Get owned by the same guy repeatedly
Make the same joke over and over again
Steal other people's ideas
Not use proper grammar when they type (Ex: do u wanna go to the mall wit justin and i)
Camp in the same spot over and over again, even when they get killed there.
Fail a test
Have a virus on their PC
Things that a noob would say:
do u wanna go to the mall wit justin and i
OMGGG OUR FLAG HAS BEEN TAKEN!!!!1!
I wonder what this button does...

Jerry! Why did you walk into my flame thrower? You're such a noob.
noob newb newbie new sucks


9. Noob

"Noob" is a term frequently used in online gaming, and pertains to immature ignoramuses with no grammatical/vocabulary skills. In technical terms, a noob can be referred to as an ultracrepidarian, inaniloquent, autohagiographer.
Every noob can be described as having one or more of these qualities.
Ultracrepidarian: A person who gives opinions on matters beyond their knowledge.
Inaniloquent: Speaking foolishly or saying stupid things.
Autohagiographer: A person who talks in a conceited manner about their own life and accomplishments.

Calling a noob an "ultracrepidarian, inaniloquent, autohagiographer" can yield interesting and often entertaining results.

An example of a noob being ultracrepidarian:

Noob: oh ya????? well ur ugly and hav no lyf! u jus sit at teh pc all day talking mean 2 ppl! U FAIL!!!11!

An example of a noob being inaniloquous:

Noob: roflololllollol omg ur such a n00b! i own ur FACE!!!!1!1!!~~~11!!

An example of a noob being an autohagiographer:

Noob: omg so im lyk rly rly rich and prtty and every1 lyks me and... etc.
noob n00b nub newb chatspeak

Noob
1. A noob is a person who really sucks at a game but refuses to learn/listen to people who are skilled. Many of them may have been playing the game for a while, but still suck at it. They usually have no hope.

2. Noobs generally get extremely upset over being beaten and can not admit that they are bad at the game. Often they will accuse the skilled people of hacking.

3. This word is an insult in general so people often wrongly use it and just call somebody that they do not like a noob, regardless of skill.

4. This term is often confused with the term "newb," and people who confuse these terms are usually either noobs themselves, or somebody who is good but is just mean (and has a lot of pride for being skilled).

Newb
1. Newb comes from "newbie." Somebody new to a game and they will generally suck at it. However, the reason that they suck is because of their unfamiliarity to the game. They have the potential to become good. This is not a derogatory term.

2. Also, newbs are not always bad at the game, as they may have played similar games in the past, but when it comes to knowing where things are, or information- they don't know.

Noob
1. Player: Hey man you keep getting killed, I'd recomend using a sniper rifle in this large zone, rather than that shotgun.
Noob: dude stfu i no wat im doin *gets killed again*

2. *noob gets killed yet again*
Noob: WTF u freaking hacker u suck
Player: Err...No I've just had the game for quite a while.
Noob: STFU
Player: .....Alright I have had enough of you, noob. *begins to kill the noob specifically over anybody else*

3. *Player1 spawns and picks up a shotgun*
Player2: wtf taht shotgun shuld be minez i was rite there 2 pick it up.
Player1: Sorry, I guess I got it.
Player2: u freaking noob i hate u.
Player1: Dude, we are on the same team, it benefits you as well.
Player2: SCREW U NOOB!!!111

4. Newplayer: Hey where is the enemy base?
Skilledplayer: ROFL NOOB
Newplayer: err....sorry I'm new.
Skilledplayer: LOL at you!!!!112@@
Newplayer: ....

Newb
1. Player: Hey man you really need to work on your shooting. You don't seem to know where you are going either.
Newplayer: ...Yeah I just got the game....sorry.
Player: Yeah, I remember back when I was a newb. You'll get better, and learn where things are.

2. Newplayer: Hey where is the enemy base?
Player: Wow, I saw you shooting pretty well. How could you not know that?
Newplayer: I just got the game, sorry. I'm kind of a newb.
Player: But damn you shoot well.
Newplayer: Yeah, I played game X before, so I have experience with these kinds of games. But now I'm moving on to this game.
Player: Cool. Alright follow me, their base is over here.
newb noob n00b nub newbie


11. Noob

One who is offended by this term.
John: "You're a noob."

Noob: "What!? What did you just call me?! I can pwn you boy with my 1337 skillz in Halo, GoW, WoW, CS, SC, MoH, BMW, YMCA, DUI, RDLGQ2UYZRT!! And-and also ..." etc.

John: "I rest my case."
noob newb noobie newbie n00b n00bie


12. noob

a totally stupid person on an online game rpg. they are oftentimes ignorant, dumb, and completly incompatant. in most cases, noobs are frowned apon by the community, as they are a burden and all they do is pester people who are trying to have a good time on an online game rpg. i once met a noob sooo noobish one time, that he couldnt figure out who i was talking to, and when it was me talking...see below
pot head370: ok richie109 go thru that door
cream5: me?
pot head370: did i say cream? no i said richie109.
cream5: wait me? u want me to go thru the door?
pot head370: No, goddammit! i want richie to go thru the door
cream5: ok ill go thru the door u dont have to yell
pot head370: you stupid motherfucker! go up the stairs and leave me alone
cream5: how do i go up the stairs? im lost! help me!
pot head370: you fucking noob!
noob neeblet choob own pwn


13. noob

A noob (sometimes spelt n00b, in leetspeak) is a deragatory term, originating in the videogaming world, often used to describe one who is unfamiliar with a given concept or topic. Usually attributed to one who is being owned, or suffering a fail.
Dude, I've killed you 50 times, and you haven't even killed me once! Dumb-ass noob...


14. noob 10 up, 1 down love it hate it

A person new to an online game. It is not to be confused with "newb". A newb is somebody new to an online game who is calm, sensible, intelligent and willing to learn. While a noob is a person new to an online game who think they are better then everyone else, usually stupid, arogant, have horrible grammer, in MMORPGs are usually annoying beggars.
Newb: "Hey man do you know how to get to This river? i cant find it."

Exp Player: " yeah just go through that cave and you should see it"

Newb: "thanks a lot man"

Noob: " I CNAT FIDN tEH pRviER LOLOLOLOLLOLOULOLIOLILOLOL!!!!!11!!!11!1111!! WHERE IS IT!!!!1!!1!/????//???? LoLOLOLoLolOLOlOLoI ROxxor!!!111!!" Exp Player: "Stfu noob"

Noob: "HYE STFU DIKC ILL PQN JOO!!111!11! I REPORT YU I SEE UYO HAXOR lOLoLolOlololoROFLROFLROFLROLROFLO!!11!1!1!SDFHBG"

Exp Player: (Kills noob)....




There is much more, but these are the highest rated definitions/explanations, and I thought I would share, for more, visit the source:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=noob

:lol: 8) :lol:
No avatar
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 06:40
Author: Blocked
omg thtx for making my day m8
SouLesS avatar
Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:08
Author: Blocked
If you have to ask what one is, odds are you are one of them..LOL :lol:
Housezz avatar
Posted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 15:56
Author: Blocked
thanks for sharing information ^^
aSBo avatar
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 04:42
Author: Site FriendKitty
LMFAO Please define a TARD next lol
W1ck3d1nt3ntz avatar
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 04:53
Author: Site Friend
vql7q9.jpg

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