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Dafty News Post it Here


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Page 6 of 6   [ 80 posts ]
AuthorMessage
Soup avatar
Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 20:31
Author: Trusted UploaderET loverSupermanSunTurtle
the-krankies.jpg
Hackers’ Trauma After Finding Out They Hacked The Krankies’ Bank Account

CYBER hackers were being comforted last night after they accidentally hacked the bank account of panto couple The

Krankies, it has been confirmed.

The hackers, who obviously cannot be named for sheer embarrassment reasons, were said to be totally gutted and are

receiving counseling.

Cyber hacker expert Dan Hermensteinson told Dafty News: “This is a hacker’s biggest fear, finding their way into

the accounts of really annoying celebrities who are obviously talent-less and completely mediocre.”

It is unclear as yet but Dafty News understands the hackers’ fears were confirmed after stealing what they thought

was cash but turned out to be FREE family tickets to see The Krankies at this year’s Christmas panto.
Thalestris avatar
Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2015 21:09
Author: Turtle
Hi Soup , I spotted that one last week.. You've probably read it already so I'll share it for those who haven't...

QwF3f8fl.png

Google Translate error sees Spanish town advertise clitoris festival
Organisers in As Pontes ‘quite surprised’ to learn food festival celebrating Galician vegetable grelo had been mistranslated

It was meant to be a culinary festival celebrating grelo, the leafy green vegetable that is a staple in the Galician town of As Pontes in north-west Spain.

But for the past few months, the small town was marketing a very different kind of festival after it used Google Translate to put the Galician word grelo into Castilian Spanish, ending up with it inviting people to take part in a “clitoris festival”.

It was quite a surprise,” Montserrat García, the town’s spokeswoman, told the Guardian. “At first, we didn’t believe what we were seeing.”

Local officials in As Pontes – population 11,000 – had written the announcement for the annual festival in Galician, one of the official languages of the northern Spanish region. They used Google Translate for the Spanish-language version of the text.

It meant the town’s “Feria do grelo” or rapini festival – held every February with tastings and awards for the best grelos – became “Feria clítoris” in Spanish.

The translated announcement read: “The clitoris is one of the typical products of Galician cuisine. Since 1981 ... the festival has made the clitoris one of the star products of its local gastronomy.”

García said the translation error was likely on the town’s official website for months before it was noticed late last week.

She believed the online translation tool mistook the Galician word for the Portuguese version, which refers to the vegetable but also can be used as slang for clitoris.

Officials in As Pontes are considering filing a formal complaint with Google. García said: “They should recognise Galician and translate it accurately.”

Google Translate has since changed the translation, with grelo now said to mean “brote” or sprout. But García remains dissatisfied: “It’s still not the best way of describing grelo, as it is a vegetable from the turnip family.

Town officials have turned their backs on Google Translate, but there has been an upside to the embarrassing error, García said, as it caused a surge of interest in this year’s festival. “It’s become a means – albeit a very odd means – of promoting our festival.”

A Google spokesperson said: “Google Translate is an automatic translator – that is, it works without the intervention of human translators, using state-of-the-art technology instead. When Google Translate generates a translation, it looks for patterns in hundreds of millions of documents to help decide on the best translation for you.

“Since the translations are generated by machines, not all translation will be perfect and sometimes there will be mistakes or mistranslations. If people come across incorrect or inappropriate translations, they can let us know about them and we’ll be happy to fix them as soon as possible
.”
Soup avatar
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 16:37
Author: Trusted UploaderET loverSupermanSunTurtle
meteorite.jpg
Meteorite Turns Back After Almost Landing in Scotland...

A four-metre meteorite hurling through Earth’s atmosphere made a last ditch decision to turn back after discovering it was about to land in a sprawling housing estate in Glasgow, Scotland.

Meteoriticists are convinced the rock from another galaxy may have taken cold feet after learning there was nowhere safe for it to land and the damage it planned to cause would not be anywhere near as the damage already in clear view.

Hammond Demisphere, a meteoriticist, spoke of the near-hit: “Meteorites like to crash and inflict pain and misery to the Earth’s crust, causing untold damage and devastation. However, it looks like the housing estate in Glasgow has already been on the receiving end of such a backlash.”

Meanwhile other meteoriticists believe a meteorite will not land anywhere where a previous meteorite has landed, citing competition to be the main root of its fears.

Carl Inklestein, from the University of Planets & Rocks R US said: “It’s likely the poor meteorite turned back because it would be impossible to compete with the carnage and damage to the housing. Plus, the pavements and roads look like craters from Mars and that’s not really what a meteorite wants to crash into. It needs fresh, flush, and upstanding environments to throw themselves at and on this occasion it was not possible for it to carry out its once-in-a-hundred years activity.”
Soup avatar
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 16:45
Author: Trusted UploaderET loverSupermanSunTurtle
aunt-harriet.jpg
AUNT HARRIET OUT OF BATMAN QUITS TO BECOME AFRICAN WARLORD.....

Comic book lovers across the globe were left shaken last night as news emerged that, Aunt Harriet, the bumbling, lovable Aunt of Batman’s youthful ward Robin, has quit the show to become leader of a murderous band of rebel fighters in The Democratic Republic Of Congo.

She is believed to be behind a number of recent atrocities in the region, including the sacking and burning of a tribal village last week which left over 200 charred and mutilated bodies lying in the dust.

The Dynamic Duo, both looking visibly shaken, spoke to reporters at a secret location outside The Bat Cave last night. Batman, his face etched with concern said: “Robin and myself realised something wasn’t quite right last week when we found our faithful butler, Alfred, disembowelled and hacked to pieces at the bottom of one of the Bat Poles. There were also tribal symbols and African political slogans sprayed all over The Batmobile. Stately Wayne Manor just won’t be the same without her”

At this point The Boy Wonder became animated and seemed overwrought, smacking his gloved fist into his palm a number of times before blurting out: “Holy Murderous Matrons Batman! I bet that foul fiend The Joker is behind all this! To The Batmobile!”

Batman then had to steady the young crime-fighter, placing a hand on his shoulder saying: “Steady old chum. Profanity is the domain of the poorly-educated scoundrel. There may be young children watching”

The Caped Crusaders then went back inside The Batcave before millionaire Bruce Wayne emerged minutes later with a glamorous starlet on his arm to pose for snappers.

This latest revelation will further stun fans of American comic book heroes, already shaken by the news that Superman’s girlfriend, Lois Lane, personally led a brutal attack by Islamic extremists on a small Christian enclave in Uzbekistan last Thursday, leaving over 300 dead and many more wounded.
Soup avatar
Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2016 12:23
Author: Trusted UploaderET loverSupermanSunTurtle
megrush.jpg
White Stripes Drummer Meg White To Replace Rush’s Neil Peart.

Canada — Fans of the Progressive Canadian rock band Rush breathed a collective sigh of relief after lead guitarist Alex Lifeson announced that former White Stripes drummer will replace the ailing Neil Peart on an upcoming North American tour. There have been numerous reports that Mr. Peart was sadly unable to continue due to increasing chronic arthritis pain, and many fans thought that Rush’s critically acclaimed R40 tour last year was in fact the final Rush tour of their career.

“We’ve worked very closely with Meg White over the past few months,” said Mr. Lifeson in a Scooper telephone interview earlier this week. “Neil has been intimately involved with showing her the set. As you can imagine, there’s no one to replace him on drums, but we believe that Meg will bring a fresh perspective to some of our classics.”

Megan Martha “Meg” White (b. 1974) is an American drummer known for her work with Jack White in the Detroit rock duo The White Stripes. Her drumming style has been called “primal” for its simplicity, and drew both praise and criticism from fans and critics.

“It’s going to be a different set for our fans,” continued Mr. Lifeson, “but wait until you hear her take on YYZ or Cygnus. I mean when you think about it, Tom Sawyer was practically written for her.”

Reaction from the Rush fan base was generally confused, with some questioning the bands replacement. Most vocal of these, was current Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, an ardent Rush fan.

“I’ve been a Rush fan since High School,” said the United Speaker of the House. “It’s safe to say that they turned me onto Ayn Rand, who guides my every decision. I’m going to take a ‘wait and see’ approach before passing judgement on Meg. I mean, I hope she’s not planning on writing any lyrics or anything like that.”

The 28 city tour is kicking off this summer in Buffalo, New York and ending in Vancouver, British Columbia in October.
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