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smacking children right or wrong?? i say wrong!!!!!!!!!!


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AuthorMessage
darren1974 avatar
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 21:42
Author:
I know that kids can be totally exhausting and unavailable to reason. And to be a single mom or dad can be deadly because you often can't get away when you need a break from the brat. If you closely observe kid in more enervating situations, though, you notice often that they are bored because they are ignored, sometimes they are experimenting, sometimes that they're afraid of something that they can't articulate, they had a bad day etc. Disciplining them with force doesn't address that situation because it focuses on the effect rather than the cause. Furthermore, it doesn't teach the child to articulate frustrations in other ways than by being a nuisance. Not becoming caught becomes a disproportionately important skill to the kid. Honesty becomes dangerous. Conflict resolution by enforcing one's will, need be with violence, becomes default. 50% of children who are beaten become violent themselves versus only two or three percent of those who are not physically punished. Those 50% who do not become violent tend to have in common that they see corporal punishment as wrong, i.e. they felt that it did them more good than harm. Of course, a child is not necessarily psychologically damaged by occasional spanking, especially if it's done without anger and predictable but 50% of dissatisfied customers is a lot! - Better solutions there are many, but learning to communicate doesn't just mean explaining things one more time; once the kid's situation is empathized with, many solutions will be good - permissive education least so - but, more importantly, they will tend to get better with experimentation. Discipline is essential but it's even more important to understand why and how to motivate oneself.
A historical or evolutionary justification is simply uninformed. It is countries like prewar Nazi's who are most ardent supporters of corporal punishment; crime ridden ghettos are another example of places where corporal punishment is the norm. It is the countries most ardently opposed to corporal punishment, e.g. those of current Scandinavia, who have the best results in international school comparisons, low levels of violence and crime, high levels of participation in democratic processes, political stability etc. Most high achievers come out of family contexts in which violence of all kinds in absent.
As human beings, we have the advantage over animals that we have a prefrontal cortex which can visualize different future scenarios and weigh different options. Animals have extremely limited ablitys..
Corporal Punishment, It makes it sound like its something that they do to offenders in the military

Anyway, Corporal Punishment is not exactly what we were discussing originally, but Ill continue. It is true that a large percentage of the people who have violence "visited" upon them when they are a child become violent themselves. Beatings and such towards children is completely wrong. I can understand how many people feel about that, but on the lighter side, putting a child over your knee can make them see the err in their ways. It should never descend to intentional harm.
The US department of Health & Human services reports 142,000 children are seriously injured from Corporal punishment every year in this country, 18,000 of them are permanantly disabled. Between 1-2,000 children die each year in this country alone from Corporal punishment. Nearly 70% of child abuse cases in CPS agencies result from corporal punishment. The defense of "discipline" is raised in 41% of homicide prosecutions when parents "accidentally" kill their children. 99% of people in jail were corporally punished
Here some data on "nations have abolished corporal punishment of children in the family." Note the strong correlation with excellent results in international school comparisons, low crime rates etc.:
Sweden 1979
Finland 1983
Denmark 1997
Norway 1987
Austria 1989
Cyprus 1994
Croatia 1999
Latvia 1998
Israel 1999
Germany 2000
Bulgaria 2000
Iceland 2003
Romania 2004
Ukraine 2004
Hungary 2004
Greece 2006
Netherlands 2007
New Zealand 2007
Portugal 2007
Uruguay 2007
Venezuela 2007
Spain 2007
Costa Rica 2008
Republic of Moldova 2009
Luxembourg 2009

The site contains also a very long list of countries which have abolished corporal punishment of children in school. Curiously, many Islamic are in that list.
There is a great secret in life about this question and I got spanked when I crossed the line as a child by my mother, never by my father.

Because here is the hugest secret. The most powerful tool on a man is his voice.... When my father said something in that tone he did not have to spank our rooms or choirs were done faster than our two feet could carry us.

On the other hand my mother a great lady, she had to spank us every now and then or threaten to get my father on the phone.

I have never had to spank all I have to do is use that tone that tells them I'm not kidding and please never push me over the edge where I have to go whoop ass on you.

Learn the tone guys it's the most powerful tool.
I agree that judicial prosecution of parents who use corporal punishment is out of place. What these parents really need is help and support.
The problem with discipline in parts of the UK ('parts' is an important point!) and some other places is greatest in areas where physical violence of all kinds as well as lack of meaningful parental interest in children is most rampant. Increasing levels of violence against kids - if that's sensibly possible - would only worsen the situation. Studies show that corporal punishment gets short-term compliance but powerfully reduced long-term compliance.
And yes, a swat on the ass can kill kids because, like all violence, it tends towards escalation. As I quoted above already: The US department of Health & Human services reports 142,000 children are seriously injured from Corporal punishment every year in this country, 18,000 of them are permanantly disabled. Between 1-2,000 children die each year in this country alone from Corporal punishment. Nearly 70% of child abuse cases in CPS agencies result from corporal punishment. The defense of "discipline" is raised in 41% of homicide prosecutions when parents "accidentally" kill their children. 99% of people in jail were corporally punished
Big_A_Little_A avatar
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 22:29
Author: Site FriendSupermanimmortal
nice post,many thanks.
do agree that children do need disciple,with my two I used the treat of smacking and that always worked,never once had to smack them,just scarred the shit out of them with the threat.

tho do know a few kids that really do need a skelp around the lugs!
darren1974 avatar
Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2010 23:02
Author:
uncle_ALF_and_auntie_social wrote:
nice post,many thanks.
do agree that children do need disciple,with my two I used the treat of smacking and that always worked,never once had to smack them,just scarred the shit out of them with the threat.

tho do know a few kids that really do need a skelp around the lugs!
uncle i will maske light of this so ppl can approach me and will send all to your clinic :)
now serious as you have seen the stats they are scarey but what can we do??? as you see hitting makes children logtime worse
JorgeMontana avatar
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 00:21
Author:
I think spanking should be the last option but some kids need that strong form of disciplinary action.I know I did I was a bastard to my parents.LOL.If you still don't think some kids need spanking look at Dubby this is what happens when kids don't get spanked.
darren1974 avatar
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 00:38
Author:
JorgeMontana wrote:
I think spanking should be the last option but some kids need that strong form of disciplinary action.I know I did I was a bastard to my parents.LOL.If you still don't think some kids need spanking look at Dubby this is what happens when kids don't get spanked.
thanks but some people say spanking do not kill so i stated facts,as you see the voice alone should work and spanking do kill and also leads to more ie killers etc
cyberartist avatar
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 03:10
Author:
All of mine got a smack on the bum now and then. But ninety percent of the time it was the tone of voice that did the trick. One is now a teacher - two are musicians - one is an actress - and two have left school but even they dont know what they are yet!
Thank God none of them are on drugs - none of them have been to jail - and none of them are a thing like the old man. I must have done something right somewhere - but dont ask me what it was!
darren1974 avatar
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 03:22
Author:
cyberartist wrote:
All of mine got a smack on the bum now and then. But ninety percent of the time it was the tone of voice that did the trick. One is now a teacher - two are musicians - one is an actress - and two have left school but even they dont know what they are yet!
Thank God none of them are on drugs - none of them have been to jail - and none of them are a thing like the old man. I must have done something right somewhere - but dont ask me what it was!
see the tone works as you do it from the early age and then all is good well i think i turnned out good :)
sam_code4u avatar
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 11:22
Author: Trusted UploaderSite FriendET loverSuperman
absolutely wrong...!
smacking children is a bull$hit.
it makes $hits happen.
it leaves very bad impact on the children.
elders should be respectful enough. they should make their image in front of children to be respected and they should be their children best friend :)

my opinion :)

sam
º(extratorrent 2010)©º
darren1974 avatar
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 17:40
Author:
sam_code4u wrote:
absolutely wrong...!
smacking children is a bull$hit.
it makes $hits happen.
it leaves very bad impact on the children.
elders should be respectful enough. they should make their image in front of children to be respected and they should be their children best friend :)

my opinion :)

sam
º(extratorrent 2010)©º
sam glad you agree as by the stats it can kill a child plus much much more
cyberartist avatar
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 09:10
Author:
Well said blue lady - you sound a bit like the wife here LOL!
Hanging them upside down by their toes from the clothes line is good too. But to avoid accidents you need to use the wooden pegs cos those plastic ones always bust...
sam_code4u avatar
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 15:19
Author: Trusted UploaderSite FriendET loverSuperman
like i said no smacking for the children..!
it is totally wrong.
i will stick to my opinion :)

yes you can teach then discipline and tell them moral values of life but beating, smacking is all bull$hit.

sam
W1ck3d1nt3ntz avatar
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 15:21
Author: Site Friend
I agree with Blue. I have 2 kids myself and if they get out of line, I wear their little butts out. Mine are also well-mannered and excel in school. I'm proud of them and would not have raised them any other way. Discipline is key from my POV but like anything delving into excess is never good. For this post all I really have to say is, "To Each Their Own."
darren1974 avatar
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 15:21
Author:
without the hitting as veiw the stats above,they are real and not made up.....i raise my voice then that is it people hit children are saying its ok to do so and they will so again stats^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
No avatar
Posted: Mon Mar 22, 2010 18:02
Author: Blocked
Quote:
Denmark 1997
lol i can still smack my kids silly and lucky for then school teather can punish them more last time where 1965/1970
cyberartist avatar
Posted: Tue Mar 23, 2010 00:55
Author:
BlueLady wrote:
darren1974 wrote:
without the hitting as veiw the stats above,they are real and not made up.....i raise my voice then that is it people hit children are saying its ok to do so and they will so again stats^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Statistics can be 'arranged' to make them whatever you want..stats are b/s..

I agree - stats are BS. Unfortunately too - whenever I hear the term 'corporal punishment' or even, to a lesser extent, parental discipline - it conjures up images of harsh disciplinarians and weird religious dudes who belt the crap out of their kids 'to drive the devil out of them' or 'teach them a lesson'. There is a world of difference between smacking your four year old on the ass because he ripped off his sister's barbie doll's head and shattered her little world - or clipping your ten year old in the back of the head because he just told his mum to get f****d - compared with the type of people who crush their little spirit and bruise and injure their bodies.
The way I have always approached this subject is pretty much covered in my first post earlier.
Having said all of this - I neither encourage anyone to smack their children nor do I criticise those who choose not to. Whatever floats your boat - as long as whatever you do creates a good family dynamic of love and laughter and the enjoyment of life.
Shit - listen to me - reverend bloody cyberartist! Here endeth the sermon.
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