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I'm a man and I'm happier


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AuthorMessage
JoeBonanno avatar
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 15:15
Author:

My last name stays put. The garage is all mine. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

I can be President. I can never be pregnant. I can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. I can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell me the truth.

The world is my urinal. I never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. I don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at my chest when I'm talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. I know stuff about tanks.


A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. I can open all my own jars. I get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite me, he or she can still be my friend.

My underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. I almost never have strap problems in public. I'm unable to see wrinkles in my clothes. Everything on my face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades..

I only have to shave your face and neck.

I can play with toys all my life. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. I can wear shorts no matter how my legs look. I can "do" my nails with a pocket knife. I have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..

I can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder I'm happier ..
arrimmapirate avatar
Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 16:18
Author:
Amen
Xclusive666 avatar
Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 02:37
Author: Blocked
LMAO

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