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Subject: The chemistry of hell


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AuthorMessage
BlueLady avatar
Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 19:58
Author: Blocked

BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid
term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.


The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when
it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know
the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving,
which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering
Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will
go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then
the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will
be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I
slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell
is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since
Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

A+



MagiKHanD avatar
Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 20:12
Author:
typing_cat.gif
I'm wondering wich is his IQ and using his theory wich is the pressure in Heaven??

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