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~Humor Central~ (closed)



[Prev]  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 11, 12  [Next]
Page 4 of 12   [ 172 posts ]
AuthorMessage
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 06:18
Author:
Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head i like it when men shit on me after i give em head
MagiKHanD avatar
Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 11:54
Author:
3 guys are in a cafe

one says: ive got the smallest arm of the world!

another says: ive got the smallest head of the world!

last one says: ive got the smallest dick of the world!

the 3 guys go to Guinness World Records.

first one goes first and returns happy: ive really got the smallest arm in the world!

second returns happy too: ive really got the smallest head of the world!

last one returns angry and screams: WHO THE FUCK IS JUSTIN BIEBER?
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 18:02
Author:
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 04:02
Author:
''FBI, Open the door!'' ... ''Uh... no ... it's cool when you break in.''
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 05:25
Author:
Are your children still wetting the bed? Great let me lay next to them s i can wank myself
Kuntu avatar
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:19
Author:
A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?"
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy." the son then asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch."

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!"
The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?"
The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle!"
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 16:18
Author:
Kuntu wrote:
A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. "Mom", the boy asks, "What's a pussy?"
The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says "Son, that is a pussy." the son then asks "What's a bitch?" The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says "Son, this is a bitch."

The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says "Dad, what's a pussy?" The father doesn't want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says "Son, this is a pussy!"
The son, now starting to understand what the older boys are talking about asks "Then, what is a bitch?"
The dad replies, "That's everything outside the circle!"

typing_cat.gif Good one!!
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 16:19
Author:
If you are not committing any sins, you are probably not having a lot of fun.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 05:37
Author:
(On a church sign) "Nobody's perfect... well, there was this one guy, but we killed him."
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Wed Apr 27, 2011 11:28
Author:
If you want someone to fall for you, you've got to give them something worth tripping over
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 06:00
Author:
Awwww you're not fat. Now chin up!...... and the other one too.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 13:56
Author:
Take my advice; I don't use it anyway.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Thu Apr 28, 2011 21:06
Author:
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 05:46
Author:
I Don't Believe In Oral Sex, I believe a man should blow up my ass so i can pick it out and eat it.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Fri Apr 29, 2011 17:21
Author:
I know that roses are expensive but $120 for a dozen? i got a dozen vibrators for $2 and all are covered in poo
[Prev]  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 11, 12  [Next]
Page 4 of 12   [ 172 posts ]



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