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~Humor Central~ (closed)



[Prev]  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 11, 12  [Next]
Page 5 of 12   [ 172 posts ]
AuthorMessage
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Sat Apr 30, 2011 15:18
Author:
My wife and I are getting along great at the moment. His's not home.
Kuntu avatar
Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 11:20
Author:
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the
criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized.

Well, said the Director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,
a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the
bathtub.

Oh, I understand, said the visitor. A normal person would use the bucket
because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.

No. said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a
bed near the window?

DID YOU PASS, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE?
Kuntu avatar
Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 11:25
Author:
Kate Middleton asked The Queen, What is the secret to a long life and a successful marriage?
The Queen replies, Don't piss me off and always wear your seatbelt......
LionKiller avatar
Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 11:50
Author:
Doctor : Your Wife Has Last 5 Hours , I Am So Sorry

Husband : Its 20years gone with her,will bear her for more 5 hours, thats ok ..
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 12:38
Author:
Not to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.
LionKiller avatar
Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 12:44
Author:
How to keep a fool busy for an hour?

just give him a page with P.T.O. written on both side !!
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 13:19
Author:
Wishing your pets could talk is fun, until you remember everything you've done in front of them..
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Thu May 05, 2011 14:53
Author:
Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand & 6 in the other. What do I have?

Student: A drinking problem.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Fri May 06, 2011 14:36
Author:
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 04:27
Author:
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house. I got the outside.
LionKiller avatar
Posted: Sat May 07, 2011 06:38
Author:
Clever Jack :

Biology Teacher asked class to draw a picture of bacteria.
Jack's paper was blank.
When asked he replied :
Bacteria cant be seen with naked eyes ...
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 03:20
Author:
"Omgz hav!n such a gewd tiem wif mai bestiez, lolzzz!" ...Seriously? Take your keyboard, and bash your head into it.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Sun May 08, 2011 05:25
Author:
The world would be a lot more fun if everyone screamed when they yawn.
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Mon May 09, 2011 10:28
Author:
The Gaga Law (RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)² = Bad Romance
EMUworld avatar
Posted: Tue May 10, 2011 14:18
Author:
You're useless like pants on a hooker
[Prev]  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ... 11, 12  [Next]
Page 5 of 12   [ 172 posts ]



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