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HOWARD STERN SHOW 1-4-2008 MasterTape Theatre 12-4-1991 64K MP3 torrent


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HOWARD STERN SHOW 1-4-2008 MasterTape Theatre 12-4-1991 64K MP3


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Mastertape Theatre - December 4, 1991. 01/04/08. 6:00am
Microphone Problems. 12/04/1991. 6:00am
Howard Sick Of His TV Show. 12/04/1991. 6:05am
Howard Takes Some Phone Calls. 12/04/1991. 6:15am
Various Discussions. 12/04/1991. 6:40am
Connie The Rock Star Groupie. 12/04/1991. 6:55am
Howard Plays Daniel Carver KKK Message. 12/04/1991. 7:40am
Robin's News. 12/04/1991. 7:55am
Charles Barkley Calls In. 12/04/1991. 8:20am
Hot Au Pair Story From A Caller. 12/04/1991. 8:50am
Goofing On Gary. 12/04/1991. 9:10am
Bonus Mastertape Theatre Segment - March 17, 2000. 9:15am



Friday, January 4, 2008


Mastertape Theatre - December 4, 1991. 01/04/08. 6:00am

Today's Mastertape Theatre replay was from December 4, 1991. This was not in my archives so I've written it up as if I were hearing it for the first time.


Microphone Problems. 12/04/1991. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A song about Howard Stern, a David Letterman intro for Howard.

Howard started off the show talking about how they keep changing his microphone there and how he has to yell into it every day. He asked the guys to fix that and his headphones too. He complained about the microphone some more and said that he was too busy to talk to someone yesterday about it. He asked Scott to come in and fix it for him. Robin's was the same so she didn't have a problem.

Howard asked Scott how he can get it put back the way it was supposed to be. He went off on Scott a little bit about that. Scott fixed it by adjusting a ''10 db pad'' on the board so it would over modulate a little bit. Howard anted to know where the button was so he could adjust it himself. He got it fixed and said that he knew there was something wrong with it.

Scott said that no one is supposed to touch that microphone so it shouldn't have been out of adjustment. Howard said that it's the other DJs out there who are jealous of him. They're the ones who are messing with him. He said that Scott was all proud of himself for doing something right for a change.


Howard Sick Of His TV Show. 12/04/1991. 6:05am
After an edited out commercial break Howard came back and said that Robin had her car stolen the other day and people thought he was kidding about that. It was for real though. He said he called Wayne Seagal accidentally and ended up talking to him about Robin's car. He was trying to call someone else by the name of Wayne and he got the wrong one. He said that Wayne actually sold Robin her Jeep that was stolen.

Robin said that the cops told her that she'd never see her vehicle again after it was taken. They told her that it was probably in a chop shop somewhere.

Howard asked Stuttering John to get him some bananas that weren't green like the ones he had were. He talked about how Fred eats green ones but that's just not right. Fred said that he likes them green like that and doesn't need them to be yellow. He doesn't like them mushy when they turn yellow.

Howard said he'd love a bagel but he's on a diet so he can't have one. Stuttering John thought that they were a good dietary item but Howard told him that they were filled with fat.

Howard said he was up last night watching Letterman. He said that he didn't get much sleep and he was miserable when his alarm went off at 4 this morning. He complained about life and what a pain in the ass it is. He said he just doesn't get off on getting up early in the morning anymore and doing his show. He said the only thing he gets off on is beating his competitors. He said he hates doing the TV show but the radio show is okay.

Howard complained about the TV show and all of the little things they complain about over there. He said that has soured everything for him. He said that if he got rid of that show he could go back to hating the radio show. He wouldn't mind it if he didn't have to deal with such idiots over there.

Howard said that there's one guy over there at WWOR who seems to be sabotaging his show. He said that he calls him when he's trying to go to bed and he can't sleep after hearing all of this nonsense from the guy.

Howard sent Stuttering John off to get his breakfast and got back to talking to Robin. He said that his kids got some of those Troll dolls as gifts and they're really into them.


Howard Takes Some Phone Calls. 12/04/1991. 6:15am
Howard took a phone call from a guy who asked him what he thinks about all of these Haitians trying to get into this country. Howard said that he thinks that a lot of these people come over to this country and freeload off of us and he's not thrilled with it. He said that he doesn't like it when they drown on their way over here because he doesn't want that for anyone. Then he said that he wouldn't mind it if Mark and Brian died.

Robin said that over in France they try to prevent poverty and try to give everyone a good education there. Howard said he didn't care about that and went off on the French for a few minutes.

Howard was talking about a woman who was on Phil Donahue's show the other day. She was 40 years old and married a 14 year old boy. She left her family to go off with this 14 year old boy. He said that people like that have no morals. He said he gets really irritated by Phil and the people he has on that show. He said that Phil doesn't have any morality himself. Howard thinks that he has morals himself while everyone out there thinks that he doesn't.

Howard pointed out that Phil left his wife for a younger woman and he thinks that they should do a show about that with Phil as one of the people. He said they could get Marlo Thomas on the show and let him conduct the interview. He said that Phil is no better than the people that he's putting down on his show.

Howard said that Tom Brokaw has been announcing the name of a rape victim while all of the other networks are avoiding it. He said that Tom could go to management and say he's not comfortable giving out her name but he's a pussy and he just goes right ahead and does it.

Howard said he was watching National Geographic the other day and saw that there are still people in this world who don't know about the wheel or even how to use fire. He went on to talk about how ridiculous religion is and how it's not just one religion, it's all of them. He and Robin spent a minute on that subject.

The phone caller asked Howard when he's going to have another Mayberry bit. Howard said that he didn't have an answer and asked him when he'd like to hear another one. The guy just wanted to hear the latest one. He ended up cursing so Howard had to hang up on him.

Howard said he would play that Mayberry bit for him but they're too busy today. He said he had to play the Dave Herman bit that they did when they got back from break. Stuttering John showed up with two bananas for Howard just in case one of them wasn't good. Howard told John that he didn't want to pay for both bananas but he was just joking around and told John to get out of there.

Howard got in a plug for his Crucified by the FCC album. He said that some people didn't order in time to get it for Christmas so they created a Christmas card gift certificate for those people who won't get it in time. He talked about how they'd be sending out the card in a box so the friends or loved ones will know they're getting a copy for Christmas, a little late. The card will go out in time for Christmas but not the whole set. He went to break after that.



Various Discussions. 12/04/1991. 6:40am
After the break Howard came back and talked about the diet he's on and how he actually gets pretty full with the food he's eating. He stopped weighing himself though. He asked John to come back in because he didn't get the hot water he asked for.

Howard said they have a woman coming in later who claims that she's slept with a bunch of celebrities. He read off a list of guys a mile long and said she must be coming in to brag.

Gary came in and said that this hot water thing is the first he's hearing of it. He said he'd make it happen. Howard said that's because he's too busy doing other things out there apparently.

Robin said that there was a woman who just died of AIDS and she claimed that she had sex with about 50 NHL players. Now everyone is worried about that. Howard said that it seems like everyone is going to be dead soon with that kind of thing happening. Howard said he told his kids to try and get jobs playing Hockey because there are going to be some jobs opening up soon.

Howard said he had a bunch of stuff to get to so he should get that going. He said that they have a new KKK message from Daniel Carver. Robin wanted to hear that because she loves hearing what that guy is thinking. Howard was going to play the clip but couldn't find it. Gary came in and said that it wasn't ready yet, Scott was still working on it. Scott came in a few seconds later and said that he was told to do something else first and he was working on that, then he'd get to the KKK message.

Howard said that his agent turned down the Tales from the Crypt offer he got recently. He said that he was right to do that because they have a lot of offers rolling in and he's only going to take stuff that could benefit his career. He said that he didn't want to do the Crypt thing without seeing a script first. They didn't even have one to show him. Howard said that they don't know what big stars they are yet out there in California.

Howard told Jackie that he should follow his lead and say no to some things instead of doing anything he's offered. He said he told Jackie not to do interviews with just anyone out there. He said that he'll even turn down 60 Minutes when they offer to interview him. He said that Jackie will come in and tell him that someone like Channel 8 in New Haven is going to be covering him and then he'll ask if he can have a camera crew in the studio. Howard doesn't want to have that going on in there but Jackie says that's where he works so he wants to have them in.

Howard said that channel 8 is just trying to get some tape of him and they're going through Jackie to make that happen. He said that Jackie will keep on asking him about doing this stuff but he has to turn it down. He feels bad doing that but he really has to.

Fred interrupted Howard and said that they were kind of behind with commercials so he had to interrupt. Howard wanted to finish what he was talking about though so he continued on. He continued to talk about Jackie and how he really doesn't like talking to the guys about that kind of stuff off the air.

Howard said that Jackie gets upset and takes things the wrong way when he turns him down for stuff like that. He said that he's doing his own thing there and trying to elevate his career without going on channel 8 in New Haven. Jackie has his own thing going on and he doesn't want to be part of that.

Gary came in and told Howard that their guest was there. Howard said he was in the middle of interviewing Jackie so he couldn't get to the guest yet. He asked Jackie about the channel 8 thing and if he was upset about it. Jackie told Howard that he's fine with it and he's not upset at all. He said that he was right about it all and he doesn't need the crew in the studio.


Connie The Rock Star Groupie. 12/04/1991. 6:55am
Howard and Gary talked about their guest and what she was wearing this morning. She wasn't dressed sexy, just in jeans and shirt. Howard said that she's a rock star groupie and she likes to break in new bands. Howard had Gary bring in Connie so they could talk to her. She came in a short time later and said that it was cold outside so that's why she wasn't wearing anything all that sexy.

Connie said that she's had a lot of the rock stars and their crew over the years. She claimed that the Penthouse people told her to dress warm this morning. She said that she could take off her shirt for him though. Howard said that might work. Connie said that she's heard a lot about Howard from a lot of people. She said they even talk about him on a station in Little Rock, Arkansas.

Howard asked Connie about these rock stars she's been with. She had a whole list of the people she claims that she's been with. Howard said she had some ''nice jugs'' as she was pulling out the pictures she's taken with all of these rock stars.

Howard asked Connie about the guys she's been with and found out that she had her first rock star when she was just 15. She said that she just wanted to get all of these guys and didn't really want relationships. She said that she does like the people she's been with and they're all friends. She said that she's tested for AIDS very often and she's clean. She said that she gives a lot of oral and that's low risk. Howard didn't believe that was the case though.

Connie said that she does have the other type of sex but she prefers to do the oral because she can cover a lot of ground that way. She said the first guy she had was in a band called Frigid Pink. She said she got back stage by partying with the crew. She let them have her first and then figured out the way to make things happen.

Connie said that she doesn't want to get married, she enjoys doing what she does. Howard asked her who she could call if she wanted to talk to someone as a friend. She said that Paul Stanley is a guy she could probably get a hold of. She's pretty close to him. She also said that she's close to another guy by the name of Waddy Waddell. She said that he can have some great phone sex too. That led to Howard doing some phone sex stuff with Connie. He was using his megaphone and talking to her about what she was wearing and she was actually acting out what she was saying. They didn't go too far with it though.

Howard went through a list of people and found out that Connie was with Huey Lewis, Eddie Money, Paul Shaffer and others. She asked for a beer at one point but no one had any for her.

Howard found out that Connie is a substitute teacher so he asked her what she's teaching. She said that she'll actually tell the students about the rock stars she sees. She said that she gets a lot of stuff to give away to the kids too. She teaches K-6th grades and teaches general subjects like reading, writing and arithmetic. Howard gave out her full name and wondered if that was going to cause problems. she said that they haven't called in about a month so she's not sure.

Howard asked Connie if she was interested in sleeping with Stuttering John, who was in the band Mund. She said that he is cute and looks kind of like Waddy. She thought it was him when she saw him walking in this morning.

Connie told Howard that she had the drummer from Def Leppard after he lost his arm. She said that she had him twice. She's also had some of the guys in Elton John's band but not Elton himself. She said that Elton likes her to do the guys in the band when they're first brought in. She said that she will get back stage and Elton will ask her to initiate the guys into the band by having sex with them.

Connie said that she's had most of Crosby Stills and Nash but not David. The other guys will actually watch while she does the guys in front of the others. She said that she's not a hooker so she doesn't get paid for this stuff. She'll get a back stage pass or something like that though.

Howard said he wanted to spank Connie after the break. She was up for it. She told Howard about some of the other guys she's had before Howard went to a commercial break which was edited out of this replay.

Howard came back and talked to Connie more about the guys she's going to be seeing over the next couple of weeks. Howard said Jackie asked her if she has ever done anyone while they're playing or anything like that. She said that she hasn't but she has done stuff during a drum solo with the guitar players. She'll do a quickie with them back stage or something.

Howard was doing a commercial for a Singalodeon and asked Connie if she wanted to sing a song with him. She didn't want to do it herself so she asked everyone else to do it with her. Howard played a song but Connie thought they were kidding. She started to sing a little bit but she got lost in the lyrics. She said she'd rather be down on the floor doing something else.

Howard had to ask Gary to turn off the Singalodeon thing because it was squealing quite a bit. He got back to Connie and as Gary walked by she grabbed him to check out how big he was in the pants. She said he was doing okay down there.

Howard had Connie get down to her thong and then asked her if she wanted to get spanked. Howard told her she had a good body and wasn't bad at all. She went over and grabbed Howard's crotch without asking. He said he hadn't been touched like that since Fred last night. She said that Howard was actually pretty big down there. She said that he wasn't as big as Huey though.

Howard had to put a stop to the touching and asked where he's going to be sleeping tonight after this. He had her ready to get spanked after that. He said that she didn't have any hair on her butt so that was nice. She asked him to just get the spanking going. Gary came in and said that Leslie West was on the phone. Connie said that's one of her good friends. She jumped off of Howard's lap when she heard that. She wanted to talk to him but Howard just wanted to spank her.

Howard got Leslie on the phone and he said that he couldn't believe this. Leslie said that when she was only 16 he took her in a lear jet and she did something to the pilot while they were flying. She also called her father and let him know what she was up to. Her father told Leslie to just get her home safe. He didn't seem to care that his 16 year old was out messing around with his daughter. Leslie claimed he never touched her but she said that she gave him oral. Leslie denied that though. He said that she was so fresh that she hadn't even urinated through hair yet. Howard almost cut him off at that point.

Howard wrapped up with Connie and said that it sounds like she thought that he had a bigger package than Gary did. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.


Howard Plays Daniel Carver KKK Message. 12/04/1991. 7:40am
After the break Howard said that Gary gave him some shocking news. He said that Gary was watching Entertainment Tonight last night and John Tesh announced his marriage to Connie Seleca on the show. Howard said that guy is like Lurch and Connie is so friggin hot. He said that makes his head spin. He said you really have to be in show business or in a rock band because guys can get hot chicks if they do that. He said that he thinks that John is even uglier than he is, yet he's getting a hot chick like that. Gary said he thought it was a goof when he saw it but it turned out it was true.

Gary said that they talked about how he got down on one knee when he proposed. Howard said that he shouldn't even be banging that Connie chick that they just had in there. Gary said that he heard that Connie wanted to do Howard. She thought that he was a big enough star and almost a rock star type.

Howard said that he wanted to play this new KKK message. He had Gary get some other stuff together while they were doing that. Howard went right into the Daniel Carver KKK message. Daniel was talking about New York City and how many murders there are there and how many people there are on welfare and how many cars are stolen every day. Robin and Howard knew that he was going to get to his point and what it was going to be. They let the message play through and Daniel was giving tons of stats about the city and then went off and started throwing around the N-word saying that they were the reason for all of New York City's problems.

Howard did his impression of Daniel doing his thing and goofed on him a little bit. He went on to talk about how he could bring the taxes into line by dropping welfare. He said that they could have everyone on welfare move down south to the warm climate. Jackie said that he would be against something like that but Gary was for it. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that.

Howard said that the government should be guarding welfare the same way they guard medical marijuana. Howard doesn't think that there are that many people out there who deserve welfare. They all argued about that stuff for a short time and everyone was blaming different things for the problems with the economy. Fred was arguing with Howard about a bunch of things. He was blaming the executives at GM for sending jobs down to Mexico.

Fred was very worked up about the way things were going in the country. He said that he buys an American car himself to try and help the country, but they're sending jobs down to Mexico. Howard cut Fred off and said he had to take a break. He told Fred he was really annoying and had his microphone cut off so he couldn't respond. Fred was still going off on him even though he could barely be heard in the background.

After and edited out commercial break Howard came back and said that he and Fred were still arguing during the break. He got back to the Daniel Carver message after that. He played more of the message that they never got a chance to get to earlier. Daniel continued to go off on the blacks until his answering machine cut him off.


Robin's News. 12/04/1991. 7:55am
Gary came in and asked if he wanted to go over some stuff with him. Howard said that they had Charles Barkley calling in later but he figured they'd get the news out of the way now. He said they also have to go over the people they're up against for Grammy nominations. He said it would be great if they could get a nomination.

Howard brought up Connie and talked about how weird it is for a woman like that to go out and do all of those rock stars and they go around bragging about it.

Robin got into her news after that. She talked about a rape case that was happening at the time. She read through some other stuff and had Howard going off on the people of Iraq saying that President Bush had forgotten to kill off Saddam Hussein before they got the troops out of there. He said that Bush claims that he beat Iraq but he doesn't think that they have the ability to build nuclear bombs over in that country anyway. Robin went through a few more stories and then Howard said he had to go to another break.



Charles Barkley Calls In. 12/04/1991. 8:20am
After the break Robin got back to her news. She read through some more stories. She talked about the President and the number of jokes that have been told about him and the Vice President on late night talk shows. She also brought up the story about the woman who died of AIDS and how she claimed that she had slept with about 50 NHL players.

Gary came in a short time later and told Howard that they had Charles Barkley on the phone. Howard got him on the line and asked him where he's been for the past few years. He used to come on more often but then he disappeared. Charles said that he thought they were a bad influence on him and he wanted to get on the Olympic team and figured it was best not to come on.

Charles asked for the number for the Crucified by the FCC thing so Howard gave that to him and then moved on. He said that Charles once said that he had gone out to dinner with Donald Trump one time and they ended up in a hot tub with him and some girls one night. Howard said that it should have been a big story at the time but no one picked up on it. Charles said that they were just relaxing that night and didn't do anything too crazy. Howard figured that Charles was still banging groupies but he claimed he had given all of that up.

Howard asked Charles what's wrong with him and why isn't he playing these days. Charles fell and bruised some ribs so he's had to sit out. Howard also heard that he was married now and asked him why he'd do something like that. Charles said he fell in love with his wife and now they have a 2 year old daughter. Howard heard that she's a hot, white blonde and Charles confirmed that.

Howard asked if his wife goes to the games. Charles said she does. She was only 25 so Howard said that's too young. He asked Charles how he got her. He said he met her at a restaurant. She wasn't a waitress though. Charles seemed offended when they asked if she was one. He said he knew that waitresses were going to hate him for responding the way he did.

Howard talked to Charles about the kind of money he was making. He said that they print it in the paper all the time which is kind of rude. Howard said that Charles can make even more with endorsement deals and stuff. Howard asked Charles where he lives and if he has a nice house. Charles said he lives in a development because it's a gated community. He said that he has a lot of nice neighbors and they don't bother him there.

Howard asked Charles about his wife and how big her boobs were. She was right there with him so he was describing her as she was laying there. Howard asked him to put her on the line so he could talk to her. She got on the phone a short time later so Howard asked her about how they met. She said that she was just walking out the door at the restaurant when she met him.

Howard asked Charles' wife if she did it with him the night before. She said that they didn't do it. She also claimed that she was a virgin when she met Charles. She said he lies about her cup size too. She's only a B-cup, not a C like Charles was claiming. Howard found out her parents weren't upset about her bringing home Charles either. Howard said he'd be the same way. He said that if he had to choose between a poor white man or Charles Barkley going out with his daughter, he'd pick Charles.

Howard asked Charles about Magic Johnson and if he's gotten together with him yet. Charles said he hadn't. They also talked about some pictures that were in the National Enquirer that were kind of private. Howard said he thought that was going too far.

Charles brought up Jessica Hahn and said that he saw her on Married With Children the other night. He said that she's looking good these days and she must have had some work done on her breasts. He said that those are no B, or C cups right there. Howard said that she did have some work done. They spent a few seconds talking about her.

Howard was telling Charles about what he thinks Magic Johnson should do about his AIDS problem. After going off on that stuff for a short time Charles told him he's never heard so much bullshit in his life. Howard had to ask him to say ''B.S.'' instead of using the full word. They spent a couple of minutes on the Magic Johnson stuff and then Howard gave him some advice on what to do about his endorsement deals.

Howard found out that Charles had invested in some office supply thing so he wondered what was going on there. He said that he has to invest in something other than office supplies. He thought that was crazy. Charles said he also bought into some sporting goods store. He said that he's in the textile business as well.

Howard got Charles' wife back on the phone and she threw out the asshole word so Howard had to ask her not to use that one on the air. He ended up talking to her about some of the stuff Charles was saying about her when he was on the phone. She joked that he was in a little teddy as she was talking to Howard. Charles got back on the phone and said that everyone has a skeleton in their closet.

Howard let Charles go a short time later. He said that Charles is a great guy and fun to talk to. He said that he forgot to ask his wife if she had ever dated any other black men before Charles. He said he had a ton of questions for Charles but he didn't think he could keep him on the line that long. He said they might need him on the show weekly. He said that maybe they can get him to be the weekly sports reporter on the show or something. He told Gary to talk to Tom Chiusano about that.


Hot Au Pair Story From A Caller. 12/04/1991. 8:50am
Howard had Robin get into some more news after the Charles Barkley call. She read a bunch of stories about various things in the news. Howard took a call from a guy who told him about his Au Pair that he hired and how hot she was. He said they hired her and she was really hot. He said that she had a great body and one day he came home and she was watching a dirty movie on his VCR. He said he was standing there watching her watching this movie. She didn't know that he was watching her so he went back to the door and slammed it so she'd know that he was home. He said that he talked to her about the movie and how she didn't need to be ashamed of it. He had a discussion with her and then she attacked him downstairs where she was doing laundry. He said she jumped all over him and he did her on the washing machine and around the house for the next month or so. She's not working there now but they do stay in touch.

The caller said that it had been about 3 years since that happened and he might need another Au Pair. Howard said that now all women are going to know about the Au Pair thing and not hire any to hire any. Robin said that it sounded like a Penthouse story that he just read and recited to them. Howard said that the whole world is having fun except for him.

Robin got back to her news after that and brought up a story about a botched abortion that a doctor did and how he'd pulled an arm off the baby. Robin also read a story about Freddy Mercury and how he knew he had AIDS for a few years before he passed away. She also talked about the guy from Milli Vanilli who tried to kill himself. She went through a couple more stories and then wrapped up her news.


Goofing On Gary. 12/04/1991. 9:10am
Howard said that Gary was upset that he was going to Los Angles this week. Gary said that he'd talk about that tomorrow, unless he really wanted to get into it today. Robin told Howard that the 48 Hours ''shock jock'' special is coming up this week. They're going to be covering Scott Shannon of all people. Howard went off on that saying that he's no shock jock himself and also goofed on Scott Shannon for a minute.

Gary said that he heard that Scott Shannon had hung up on Sebastian Bach one time that they were calling in from Los Angeles. They called Howard after that and it turned out to be a great call. That led to Fred and Howard goofing on Gary about the way he talks since he'd said something about Scott Shannon not being so sharp. They goofed on the way he said ''sharp.'' Howard said that Gary does a stretch every time he gets goofed on in the studio. Jackie said that Gary looks like a retarded cheerleader when he stretches like that.

Howard was going to wrap up the show but ended up goofing on Gary for a few more minutes after he said some more dopey stuff. They ended the show around 9:15am (Mastertape Theatre time).



Bonus Mastertape Theatre Segment - Beetlejuice And Hank The Dwarf. 9:15am
After that Mastertape Theatre segment they played a ''bonus'' segment where Hank the Dwarf and Beetlejuice met for the first time on the air. Here's that segment from March 17, 2000. This is my original write up from that day:


Hank The Dwarf And Beetlejuice. 3/17/00. 7:50am
Hank the dwarf and Beetlejuice the tiny headed dwarf came in to hang out for a little while this morning. Howard heard that the two of them got into a little fight out in the hallway. Beetlejuice came in first. He had his hair and eyebrows painted green for St. Patrick's day. He told Howard that he's going to be in the New York St. Patrick's day parade today. Howard tried to find out how he did that but Beetlejuice can never give a straight answer.

Howard brought in Hank a few minutes later to find out why the two of them were fighting it out. For the next 20 minutes the two of them had a pissing contest over the dumbest things. If Hanks drinking came up Beetlejuice would say that he can drink more than him. If Hank's height came up Beetlejuice would say he's taller than him. Beetle said that he's better than Hank at just about everything. Hank called Beetle a ''stupid little midget'' and everyone pointed out that Beetle is taller than Hank. Hank said that if he is taller it's only by a couple of inches.

Apparently this all started back at Howard's birthday show a few weeks ago. Hank said that Beetle didn't want him to meet William Shatner for some reason and the two of them started in with each other at that point. Beetle said he doesn't even know who Shatner is and he doesn't know why he didn't want Hank to meet him.

After the arguing Howard brought in this British TV show host who wanted to interview Hank. The host of the show ''Freak Out'', Matt, came in with his crew to interview Hank. Matt has flipper hands so Howard spoke to him about that for a couple of minutes then turned over the show to him. The interview Matt did was really lame and it wasn't going anywhere so Howard gave up on it.

This guy Mike had come down to try and win breast implants for his wife. He had agreed to suck Hank's toes to win the implants. Hank didn't want any part of it unless he was going to get paid. Gary told him they'd give him $800 courtesy of iWon.com for his trouble. He was also afraid that the guy was gay but Mike says he's not. Gary took off Hank's one shoe and everyone was disgusted by his uncut toe nails. Hank says he never cuts them. Some people were even saying that they were green from fungus or something. Howard told the guy that he had to suck and kiss all of his toes and put all 5 in his mouth to win the implants. Mike didn't seem to hesitate much. He went right to it and sucked those green toes. He won the implants which will be put in by Dr. Sal Calabro.


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