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HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-7-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 64K MP3 CF torrent

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Get all your Howard Stern Show Downloads here first

Ronnie The Limo Driver Split From His Wife, Dating 24 Year Old! 01/07/08. 6:00am
Is Howard An A-list Celebrity? 01/07/08. 6:35am
Howard's Letterman Dilemma. 01/07/08. 6:45am
Britney Spears And Dr. Phil Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:05am
Sports Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:20am
Political Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:30am
Howard Loving Netflix. 01/07/08. 7:45am
Eric The Midget Comedian Calls In. 01/07/08. 7:50am
Scott The Engineer At Jon Hein Bat Mitzvah Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:55am
Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/07/08. 8:10am
TV Show Discussions. 01/07/08. 8:20am
Bubba Doing Mornings On Terrestrial Radio. 01/07/08. 8:30am
New Prank Call With High Pitch Eric. 01/07/08. 8:35am
Quadriplegic Zach Calls In. 01/07/08. 8:40am
Lee The Alleged Stalker Calls In. 01/07/08. 8:45am
Dr. Phil Discussions And More. 01/07/08. 8:50am
Chuck Zito Facts And More. 01/07/08. 9:05am
Juror JD Stuck As An Alternate. 01/07/08. 9:20am
Artie's 7000 Square Foot Summer House Almost Ready. 01/07/08. 9:30am
Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/07/08. 9:50am
Robin's News. 01/07/08. 10:05am
Wrap Up Show - Artie's House. 01/07/08. 10:50am
Wrap Up Show - Ronnie's New Girlfriend. 01/07/08. 10:55am
Wrap Up Show - Scott The Unhappy Engineer. 01/07/08. 11:15am
Wrap Up Show - JD's Jury Duty And Sneakers. 01/07/08. 11:30am
Wrap Up Show - Howard's Letterman Appearance. 01/07/08. 11:40am

Monday, January 7, 2008

Ronnie The Limo Driver Split From His Wife, Dating 24 Year Old! 01/07/08. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: ''My Name Is... Riley Martin'' song parody, The Losers ''Every Homo (Backside's Back)'' song.

Howard started off the show having some technical problems with his headphones. He wasn't sure if that was his problem or not but he swapped the ears on them. He went on to say that ever since Christmas the people at SIRIUS have been after him to go on Letterman. They wanted him to go on to promote the service. As he was talking about that Howard asked Robin to look at him when he was talking because he thought she might be doing something else. He said that's something that his shrink has told him he needs from people.

Howard got sidetracked and ended up talking about his therapy and how long he's been going and how he can't seem to get out of that. Howard said that Robin was able to make rapid progress but he can't seem to get anywhere with his therapy. He said that maybe Robin needed to be there more than she was. He asked her what her breakthrough was.

Robin said that she was out of control and maybe he hasn't hit that bottom that she had hit back then. Howard said that he doesn't want to go that low. He said that everything is so hard. Robin said that they were talking about Howard at Jon Hein's daughter's bat mitzvah. Howard said that he should have gone just to keep them from talking about him.

Robin said that Jon was very thankful for people showing up, unlike Howard would be at something like that. Howard asked Robin if she went to that party solo. She did because Jim Florentine was out of town that night. Artie said that things will be really serious when Robin starts going out to shows with Jim. He said that all the women eventually do that.

Howard asked Robin if anything crazy happened at the party on Saturday night. Robin said that Ralph had a great line that night because Ronnie had a date with him and it wasn't his wife. Howard said he didn't know anything about that and Robin said she wasn't sure she wanted to say anything about it and out him. Howard claimed he didn't know a thing.

Howard asked Ronnie to come in and explain himself but he didn't come in. Howard said he really wasn't sure what was going on and Ronnie wasn't coming in to explain himself. Howard said it was probably a friend of his son's or something.

Ronnie came in and said that he didn't know what she was talking about either. He said that it was just a friend. He said that he and his wife have kind of split up at this point. Howard said that they really don't talk and he had no idea about this.

Ronnie said that it was just a friend that he brought. He was sweating talking about this. He wasn't clear about his marriage or what was going to happen there. Howard asked Ronnie what was going on with the girl he was with and how old she was. Ronnie said he didn't know but she did have to pack a lunch box to go with him.

Robin said that they were all abuzz about the whole thing. Howard said he heard that Gary was seated next to Ronnie and his new girl. He said that it was all news to him. Howard wondered when all of this happened. Ronnie said that he'd know if he talked to him.

Howard said he did hear from Gary about some of what was going on. He said that he heard that some people thought she was JD's date because she was so young. Ronnie said that she's just a friend. Robin said she knows how old she is. She said that she's in her 20s. She said that she's actually pre-25 after Fred asked. Howard asked Ronnie how old he is. Ronnie said that he doesn't know. He was being as vague as possible with this whole thing.

Ronnie said that the girl was almost 25. Howard said that his daughter is almost 25. He asked Gary to come in and tell him what it was like to sit next to that girl. Gary came in a short time later and said that the girl was very sweet and quiet. She looked nervous too. He said that he talked to her for a little bit. He said that Ronnie was making jokes about the age difference too. Howard asked if she's into that Hannah Montana chick because he might be able to get her tickets.

Howard asked where Ronnie met this chick. Gary said he wasn't positive. He said that his wife was kind of surprised by the whole thing. Artie asked if she's speaks broken English. Everyone said she's from the mid-west and does speak English just fine.

Howard asked Ronnie how he met this girl but Ronnie said he didn't want to go there. He didn't want to get into it on the air. He joked that it was through some web site where you meet other people but he was just joking. Artie said he was impressed with Ronnie.

Gary said that this young girl told him that she had to have her outfit approved by Ronnie. Howard asked if she was able to come in her first pick. He said that she had to change into a second outfit. Howard heard that Chris Hanson from ''To Catch a Predator'' wanted to come in and talk to Ronnie. That was just a joke that someone had written out in the office.

Gary said that he wanted to make Ronnie feel comfortable at the party so he treated her nicely when they were there. Howard asked Ronnie if the girl knows how old he is. Ronnie said that she does. He's not lying about his age.

Howard said that Ronnie is even older than him. That led to them talking about the ages of some other people like Mike Huckabee who is actually younger than Howard. Gary said that James Gandolfini is younger than him and he finds that hard to believe.

Howard said that Ronnie has been trying to get into shape lately and he had a feeling something was going on. He said that he must have hit the mid-life crisis or something. Ronnie said that's not it at all. Howard said that it's impressive that Ronnie is hanging out with a 24 year old. Artie said that he's impressed.

Ronnie said that he's just been enjoying himself and behaving himself when he's out. Gary figured that Ronnie was on good behavior in front of this new girl. The guys talked about the Scoresman stuff for a short time and Howard said that his new name should be ''Divorcedman.'' Ronnie said that he's not divorced, he's just legally separated. Howard said that's just about divorced.

Howard took a call from a woman who said that Ronnie is passed his mid-life crisis, he's near the end of his life crisis. They talked about how Ronnie is like 60 years old so it's only his mid-life if he's going to live to 120.

Ronnie said he was talking to Benjy about Ivy at the party. Howard said they weren't interested in that stuff right now, he wanted to talk to Ronnie about his relationship. Benjy said that Ronnie did lay down the law with this new girl and he's not going to get married again. He's not even going to move in with anyone so he let this new girl know that.

We also learned that Ronnie is going to a shrink now. He told the guys about what he was told about letting his feelings out with this new girl. He also revealed that he's been going out with her for a couple of months now. Artie was goofing on Ronnie doing an impression of him as if he were a Dice Clay-like character talking to this chick.

Howard asked Gary what he told his wife about this relationship. Gary said he let Mary know that it wasn't going to be Bonnie who was going to be there and she was going to be someone she wouldn't expect to see. He said that it was kind of like a coming out party when he brings her to an event like that.

Gary said that Mary's reaction was ''give me a fuckin' break'' when she met this girl for the first time. She was shocked that she was so young. She wasn't so shocked that he was with someone else, it was just her age that shocked her.

Jon Hein came in and aids that he knew that he was bringing a date and he had a feeling that he was going to be bringing another woman. Ronnie said he wasn't sure which one he was going to bring though so he couldn't let him know her name right away. Howard sounded surprised to hear that. He didn't know that Ronnie had more than one girl.

Robin said she saw Ronnie giving young girls tours there. He said that he doesn't do that during the show. Artie was doing his impression again and said that's what he calls his ''Whore Tour.'' Robin said she saw Ronnie giving a tour to a beautiful young girl one day. Ronnie said he met her at a restaurant. Howard, Fred and Artie were all doing their impressions of Ronnie but they were all doing it as Dice.

Gary said that there was a lot of talk about Ronnie that night. He said that it was kind of sad that they were doing that but it should have been expected. He said that they were trying to figure out the age difference between the girl and Ronnie's son, not even between Ronnie and the girl. Robin said that she was so young that they kept trying to seat her at the Bat Mitzvah table.

Howard asked Ronnie how he picked this girl over the others. He said that he didn't have anyone else lined up to go. He said that this girl is his best friend right now, the other girl is just a good friend.

Howard said that Ronnie could have gone to this event without the girl if he wanted to keep it quiet. Ronnie said he was tired of going to these things alone so he wanted to bring someone with him. Howard asked Ronnie if all of this is going to distract him from doing his job standing in the hall and driving his limo. Ronnie said he's going to be fine.

Ronnie asked if he could go now that they're done. Howard said that he can go but they're not done with him yet. Robin said that she saw this girl running her hand through his hair at the party. She said that showed that she was very familiar with Ronnie. Howard said that he'd better hook up with one of them before the show ends.

Robin said that she didn't know that Howard didn't know about this. She figured that if he was at a party like that, he must be ready to let the story out. Howard asked if there are any pictures of this girl. Robin said there must be some out there. She said that she was very lovely.

Howard asked Benjy what he thinks. He said that she was very cute and if she's just his friend, he might give her a call himself. Howard said that Benjy is another Hugh Hefner. Robin said that she was getting updates from Ivy about things over the weekend too. She said that she heard that Benjy was asking her to go to this Bat Mitzvah thing too.

Is Howard An A-list Celebrity? 01/07/08. 6:35am
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him if he think that he's A-list or not. Howard said he must be because they want him over at Letterman so bad. He said that he was in a list of celebrities who people think are B-list but are really A-list. The caller had a list of other celebrities who are on the A-list but Howard told the guy he really didn't care either way. The guy read Howard's top attribute which was that he's rude. The other attribute was that he's creepy. This was all in Forbes magazine.

Howard said that there's no one more creepy than the guy who owns that magazine, Steve Forbes. Howard said that he thinks that Jerry Seinfeld is even creepier than he is because he dated a 16 year old. Howard said that he thinks that he's going to go down in history as being rude and creepy no matter what he does.

The caller also asked if Howard thinks he's more powerful than Donald Trump. Howard said that he's powerful at all. He said that Trump has abilities to do things that he probably can't but he wasn't even sure what that means to be more powerful than someone else. He said he didn't give a shit anyway.

Howard said that he may be kind of creepy staring at the girls who ride the Sybian. He said that if he is creepy because of that, the people who watch him doing it are just as creepy. He said his father loves Forbes though and it is kind of cool that his name is in there so his father can see that.

Howard's Letterman Dilemma. 01/07/08. 6:45am
Howard got back to the Letterman discussion he started earlier. He said that he hates going on talk shows and he lucked out when the writer's strike started. He got out of his Letterman appearance that he was supposed to do in December. He said he doesn't need to do that show and doesn't want to be on. The people at SIRIUS want him to do it so he agreed to go do it. He said that they almost got him before they went on vacation and he got out of that one as well because the writer's strike continued on. Now Dave has settled with the writers and they want him back on.

Howard said he turned down another offer to go on Letterman and figured he could get off until next Christmas. Then he got a call from someone last week asking him to do a walk on. He didn't want to do that even though it was just one line. He said his agent was out of town and he told them that he couldn't make the decision without his agent. He said he lied to them and told them that he can't do that. Howard said he'd do anything to get out of the whole thing.

Artie said that the writer's strike isn't really over yet so he could use that to get out of the gig. Howard said that he looked into that and the writers are so behind him that they are encouraging people to go do that show and not the other shows.

Howard said he was going to use the writer's strike to get out of doing Letterman but now he can't do that because the writer's are so behind him. Meanwhile Leno is doing his show and has a lot of writers coming out against his show because Leno is in the writer's guild and he's basically a scab by doing his show.

Howard said that Letterman's people called again and asked him to be on tonight. He said that his agent was still away so he told them that he couldn't do it without him giving the okay. He said that he really doesn't want to do that show and he's still feeling sick after Christmas vacation. He said that he can't shake these colds he gets.

Howard said his agent got back and asked him about this Letterman thing. He asked him what he wanted to talk about and Howard had no idea. He said that he's the one guy in this country who doesn't want to do Letterman. He said that his agent asked him to do it because Letterman needs his help because he's kind of hurting over there. He said that Dave is shaving his beard off tonight. Ralph suggested that he shave his head on the same show. Howard said that he thought about doing it but Beth told him not to dare do that.

A caller told Howard that he has to remember the people who helped him get to where he got. Howard said that he feels such pressure when he does those things that he doesn't like doing then. He said that this has nothing to do with being pompous or being full of himself. It's all about his nerves and being afraid of bombing when he does things like that. Howard said that Dave doesn't do other shows himself and he has to notice that. Howard said that he's not doing this to punish anyone, he just doesn't want to do it.

Howard said he got out of doing the show tonight. He was seriously thinking of doing the shaving thing though. Howard asked the caller what he does for a living. He found out that he was a truck driver so he asked him to go drive for another shift, for free, because his fans want to see it. The caller said that it's not the same thing though. Howard told the guy that he wasn't thinking like a working man. The caller said that it's nice to see him on other shows once in a while. Howard said that it's nice for the fans but it's not nice for him because he doesn't like doing the show. The caller said that he should pay some respect to the fans and just do it.

Howard said that he is going to be doing Letterman but he didn't say when. Howard said he got all upset when he heard that they asked Letterman to do the History of Howard Stern. When he heard that he was afraid that he was going to owe him one.

Howard went through some more calls and eventually said that he's going to be on Letterman next Monday. He said he'll stand there and make people laugh. The caller asked who is going to get Ronnie's NASCAR tire from his basement. The guys figured that Ronnie is going to get all of that stuff.

A caller told Howard to watch the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is dating a guy who shaves his head after having a great head of hair. He comes back looking like Curly from the Three Stooges. Howard said that he feels like he has to do crazy stuff like that when he goes on. He said Beth told him that he'd regret it after he did it because it would only be outrageous for a short time.

The caller Howard had on the line asked what it means when someone calls him a moulignon. Howard told him it means he's a nice guy. The guy was black and knew that he was just kidding about that. That all led to the guys talking about other words that people use to describe black people like schvoogie and things like that. They spent a minute on that before Howard got back to the Letterman thing.

Howard said that his shrink will get him all psyched up to do the Letterman thing. He said that he'll let him know what he should do and get him all hyped up to do it. Robin told him that's why he's still in therapy and he'll never move on. Howard asked her to come with him and fire the guy when he goes to his next appointment. '

Britney Spears And Dr. Phil Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:05am
Howard said that he's not as crazy as Britney Spears is. He brought up the story about her and how she lost custody of her kids this weekend after she had some kind of breakdown. She lost custody to Kevin Federline of all people. Howard said that she had taken some big cocktail of pills and booze and stuff. they took her to the hospital and locked her up for a short time.

Howard said that Britney's mother and sister called Dr. Phil to help them out because they were about to go on the show. He said that Dr. Phil, being the whore that he is, goes down to the hospital and tries to work with her. Britney said that she didn't want to talk to him so he went right to the press and held a press conference and said that she's in severe need of psychiatric help. He claimed that he spent an hour with her and he really only spent about 15 minutes according to Robin. She also said that he claimed to have walked her to her car but she didn't walk anywhere with him.

Howard said that Britney might be more normal than Dr. Phil. He said that he's out there doing interviews and stuff after that short meeting and he wasn't even helping her out. He said that guy is such a skunk. If he really cared about Britney, he would have kept his mouth shut. He only did it because the TV cameras were going to be there. Artie said that Oprah Winfrey should see that too but she apparently doesn't.

Howard ended up playing some Dr. Phil clips that Richard put together using his audio book. They edited the clips to make it sound like he was saying some really rude stuff. Howard said he had to take a break but he took one last phone call before doing that. The guy said that he thinks that he's worrying about his Letterman appearance too much and he should just be himself when he goes on that show. Howard said that's funny because that's what his shrink tells him. He said that his shrink tells him to just be himself and not try to prove himself.

Howard said that Robin Williams was really good on Letterman last week. He said that the guy was really funny goofing on Dave's beard and stuff. He wants to go on and entertain people too so that's why he feels this pressure. The caller said he likes Howard's radio show and didn't like him on TV the first time he saw him. He said he prefers the banter they have on the radio show and not some planned out bit that he does on TV.

Howard took another call from a guy who said that he shouldn't do Letterman, fuck David Letterman. Howard said that he likes Dave, it's just the pressure of doing the show that he doesn't like. The caller asked for a tour of the studio so Howard said he'd do that but Robin joked that he could only get one if he was dating Ronnie the Limo Driver. Howard had to go to break after that.

Sports Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:20am
After the break we heard a prank call that Richard made to a call in show. We also heard a Baba Booey song parody. Howard came back a short time later while Fred was playing some song ''High as Fuck'' by Jon Lajoie. Artie was laughing as he heard the lyrics, probably because he could relate to some of the stories they told in the song. Howard asked him if he could relate to it. Artie just laughed. Howard said some guy sent it to him from the internet.

Howard took a call from a guy who asked if anyone was fooled by Roger Clemens and the stuff he was saying on 60 Minutes last night. Howard said he wanted to believe the guy but the guy who is accusing him of using steroids gave the government 90 names and his motivation wasn't to hurt people. He and the guys talked about this guy who was a trainer for Clemens and a bunch of other players.

Artie said that Clemens looked like he was doing everything that an innocent guy would do but he's not sure if he believes it or not. Robin said that she would be on fire if she was in his situation and he didn't know that he was given steroids. The trainer is claiming that he was asked to give it to him. Robin said that one of them is lying obviously.

Gary came in and said that the guy who gave Clemens' name really didn't have any reason to lie about this stuff. He just gave them a bunch of names of people that he gave steroids to. Some of the people admitted to have used them but Clemens is denying it.

Artie said that Mike Wallace asked him if he'd be willing to take a lie detector test and he said he would but it wouldn't prove anything. Howard agreed with that because he's taken them and they're not that accurate. The guys talked about a lot of the stuff that came up during that interview but Howard wanted to move on.

Howard brought up the NY Giants game that happened over the weekend and how great it was to watch. He said that he can't wait to watch next week's game. They spent a short time on that. Howard brought up Tony Romo and how he's dating Jessica Simpson and he may be distracted by her and it may screw up his game.

Political Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:30am
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Chuck Norris' big face was right behind Mike Huckakbee at a press conference. Howard said he likes Chuck but when you see him standing there with a guy like that, you don't want the guy to be President. He talked about how Huckabee only won that Iowa Caucus because he's a Christian. Mitt Romney was all set to be the winner out there but the whole Mormon thing is apparently bad. Howard said that he didn't know that it was such a big deal for the right wing Christians.

Howard said that this Huckabee can't even answer a question. He answers like he's a preacher. He said they asked him about raising taxes when he was governor and he would just say that he did it to help families. He said that there's no way he can be the nominee for the republican party.

Howard said that Rudy Giuliani should be the guy. He was also saying that this guy Ron Paul is great. He said that he's got some great things when he makes speeches and he makes a lot of sense. He said he heard him speak one time and thinks that he should get more air time. Gary asked him where the votes are though. Howard didn't have an answer for him there.

Howard said he thinks that Hillary Clinton is going to get the nomination and so will Rudy Giuliani. He said that it may not seem like it right now but that's the way things will play out. Howard said that if you really want to hear some political discussions, John the Stutterer is doing a show tonight on Howard 101 at 7pm and he'll be talking about all of that.

Dominic Barbara called in and said that he'd like to know what Mike Wallace is taking to be going at his age. Howard said that the guy is amazing that he's still going at that age. He's like 88 years old. Ralph called in and talked about how Giuliani wasn't a great mayor and he was only good on 9/11. Howard said that's not true, he converted the city into a cash cow and made real estate values go up and cleaned up the Javits center and a bunch of other stuff. Howard said he was going to hang up on Ralph because of what he was saying.

Ralph said that Howard is a rich person living in the city, that's why he's okay with what Rudy did. They argued about all of that for a few minutes.

Howard said that Mike Wallace is going to be 90 years old this year. He said he looks good for someone that old. Ralph said that he's not that good looking. Ralph said that he's impressed with one guy and that's Howard because he heard that History of Howard Stern and found a new respect for him.

Howard Loving Netflix. 01/07/08. 7:45am
Howard said that Ralph got him a great gift for Christmas. He got him Netflix and set up the movies for him so all he has to do is watch them and mail them back. That led to him talking about a bunch of movies he's seen and wants to see. He brought up this one movie called ''Teeth'' which is about a girl who has teeth in her vagina. He said that it sounds crazy but the movie was great. He said it's a horror movie but it's a comedy horror movie. It's a story of revenge and it was really good. He couldn't believe that he liked it, but he did.

Howard said that he likes to go out to eat with his fiancé but the people at the restaurants will come over and shake his hand, right before he's about to eat. He said that's just wrong. He said that he just doesn't want to shake hands. He's fine with people saying hello to him but not shake his hand. He's been bringing this spray with him so he can spray his hands after he gets the hand shake. He said that Beth will carry this stuff in her purse so he sprays down at the table after the hand shaking. He said that he'd wear gloves at dinner if he could.

Howard said he has stuff in the studio to clean his hands too. Robin said that when you do that you lower your resistance to germs and eventually he won't be able to fight any of that stuff off.

Howard said that another great movie is ''Fractured'' which was another one that Ralph had on his list. He said he also watched the Giants game and then the Teeth movie over the weekend. That got the guys back into the football discussions for a short time.

Eric The Midget Comedian Calls In. 01/07/08. 7:50am
Ralph was complaining about this football pool he's been involved with but Howard cut him off to take a call from Eric the Midget. Eric said he was out at a comedy show over the weekend and wanted to talk about what happened during the show. Howard asked if anyone wanted to hear what happened. Robin said that probably not much happened. Eric said that not much did happen but he wanted to give an update.

Howard said that Eric was basically calling in to tell them that nothing happened. They said that his preamble was longer than his report was. Eric said that he wanted to thank the guys for having him out to the shows. He got up on stage with Shuli. Howard said that means that something did happen because Eric was up on stage. He asked him what they did with him and joked that they flew him with balloons. Eric said he told one joke on Saturday night.

Howard asked Ralph what it sounded like when he was up on stage. Ralph goofed on Eric and did his impression of him for a few seconds. Howard said that he was watching Eric on his web cam and his face was a mess because he has acne and a rash or something on him. He said that God is really cruel to this poor guy. Eric had a picture of a hot chick on his cam and he was telling Howard he should be looking at that instead.

Eric said that he told a joke that he'd heard on some TV show and told the guys what it was. No one was laughing though.

Scott The Engineer At Jon Hein Bat Mitzvah Discussions. 01/07/08. 7:55am
Howard said that the guys were talking about Sal's wife who was at Jon Hein's kid's bat mitzvah with a red streak in her hair. They thought she looked like she was single and ready to go out dating. There were apparently some people there dancing with her thinking that they could possibly get her. They spent a few minutes talking about that.

Sal came in and said that he was watching Scott the Engineer the whole night and couldn't take his eyes off of him. He said that he was like a cinder block there because he doesn't move or change expressions the whole night. Sal wondered who has it worse, him or Scott. Fred said that Sal might have it worse because he has a hot wife and he's not even getting laid. Sal said that people kept cutting in on his dancing with his wife. He said that the DJ there set him up with a hot chick because he felt so bad for him getting cut in on all the time.

Sal said that Ralph had a blast with his wife. Ralph said he did but he was also dancing with the hot chick who was there with the DJ. Sal said that he and Ralph have this move where they pretend to be taking pictures of each other, meanwhile they're just taking pictures of girl's asses and cleavage.

Ralph said Sal made a great video of Scott from the Bat Mitzvah and it was very well produced. Scott came in and said that he just sits there and tries not to make a fool of himself. That led to Scott talking about how he's going to be keeping his dog after everything that happened last week. Howard said that Scott is claiming that it's because of him that he's keeping the dog but he doesn't want him to keep it because of him. Scott said that they're not just keeping it because of him.

Howard asked Scott if his wife was yelling at him when he got home after the whole dog thing last week. Scott said that it was fine. They didn't fight.

Howard talked about how he's gotten a save the date card for Will's wedding but he's pretty sure he has something else planned for that day. Will said that's fine because it's going to be 3 hours away and he wouldn't expect Howard to show up. Howard said that if i twas in New York, he'd probably show up. Will said that his fiancé's family lives up there where they're going.

Howard said that there's a picture of Scott sitting alone at the Bat Mitzvah up on his web site. Robin said she went over and sat next to Scott at one point during the party and it was as bad as she thought it was going to be. Howard said that he's a total buzz kill at those things. Scott said that no one was forced to sit next to him or anything at the table. Ralph and Robin sat across the table from him. Ralph said that he's like a chameleon and just sits there and blends into the background so it's no big deal.

Howard asked if Scott was the lamest of the people there. Robin said he was as if it was a silly question. Howard heard that Scott was a real downer at the SIRIUS party as well. Scott said that he doesn't want to get drunk and make a fool out of himself. He just goes and has fun in his own way. Howard said he finds it funny that Scott had a second job of trying to entertain people at parties when he was a DJ. He said that Scott is like the least fun guy in the world and he was trying to make people have fun.

Sal said they had a clip to play from that video he made of Scott but Howard didn't want to force him into seeing that. He wanted to leave the poor guy alone. He let Sal and Scott go after that. He said that the movie is really funny but he didn't want to make Scott see it.

Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/07/08. 8:10am
Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. Lisa came in and said that Bob Levy's wedding is off for now. She said that he revealed that last night on Miserable Men. She also said that they've been on top of what's going on with Scott's dog. They're going to have more on that story and how the North Shore Animal League is willing to help. Howard said he heard from an vet who said that puppies are sometimes overly operated on and they may be able to help out by looking at the dog for them. Howard read the mail he got and said that it won't cost them 10 grand to get the dog fixed. Howard had to go to break after that.

TV Show Discussions. 01/07/08. 8:20am
After the break we heard a clip from when Richard went to a Star Trek convention and interviewed some people there. Howard came back a short time later and said there was an article in Variety (Howard Stern Host, Sirius Radio) where they talked about how bit SIRIUS has become since they moved there. He also mentioned that they now have 8.3 million subscribers while he was talking about that. He was also talking about the merger and how he can't believe that they still don't have an answer on that.

Howard said that the 8.3 million subscriber number is huge. He said that when he thinks about that he realized just how big that is. He said that people claim he has lost his influence since moving there but that's just not the case. He said that Stephen Baldwin was on the show last week and he was the number 4 most searched term on Google. He said that he has a lot of influence and he thinks that he has more of an influence than even a David Letterman does.

Howard and Robin talked about the merger thing and said that maybe it is because of them that it's being held up so long.

Howard said that he was reading about John Stewart and Stephen Colbert's shows, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. He said that they're heavily scripted and he's not sure how they can come back if they don't have writers. Howard said that he'll have to tune in to see what they're doing if that's the case. They won't have writers so they'll have to do interviews instead.

Howard said he saw Letterman interviewing his staff which was odd. He said that he was interviewing a girl who works on the show and just did a straight interview with her. Robin said that Leno was taking questions from the audience. She said that they should sit there in the audience. Howard said he would do that and ask Jay some questions.

Howard read that CBS may let Katie Couric go from the evening news. She may go to 60 Minutes instead but she's apparently upset about that. Her move to the evening news was apparently a failure.

Bubba Doing Mornings On Terrestrial Radio. 01/07/08. 8:30am
Howard said that today is the day that Bubba is starting his mornings on terrestrial radio and doing a show in the afternoons there at SIRIUS. Now Bubba won't be doing mornings on Fridays on SIRIUS. Howard said that he wonders how Bubba is holding up over there.

The guys said that Bob Levy was willing to take that Friday morning slot on Howard 101. That led to the guys talking to Artie about Bob's wedding that was supposed to happen this weekend out in Vegas. Robin said that she heard that Bob Levy gave his first two wives the same ring and that shows how romantic he is.

Howard said that Bubba claims that he can handle the two shifts every day but he's not sure if he'll be able to do the straight morning show, with no cursing, and then come to SIRIUS. He said that he heard that the people at COX have already warned him about the content and they'll be riding that delay button the whole time.

Howard said that Bubba didn't want to give up his relationship with the show and he's staying on with SIRIUS. He said that really shows some commitment from the guy.

Howard said that he had a deal years ago to do a Saturday morning syndicated show and they were doing double interviews with the same people. He wondered if he was supposed to do the same interviews or something. Robin said that it was very rehearsed sounding. Howard said that it was a real drag.

Howard said that maybe they should call Bubba and ask them to put him on hold so they can listen in to what they're doing over there. Gary said that he'd make that happen. Howard figured that Bubba was a whole different person doing that show. Howard said he's on down in Tampa where he broadcasts from. Gary came back on a few minutes later and told him that Bubba doesn't start until tomorrow. They'll do that tomorrow instead.

Howard played some old Bubba clips from when he was on a radio station doing some kind of weird black impression when he was the DJ. Howard said that's going to be a tough schedule for him.

New Prank Call With High Pitch Eric. 01/07/08. 8:35am
Howard played a new prank call that Sal and Richard had High Pitch Eric make to a pharmacy. Eric called in as a woman looking for some ''twat cream'' or ''pussy cream.'' The woman there hung up on him a few times but he'd keep calling back. He was telling her he had flies and her cat passed out when it took a whiff of it.

Howard said that Eric had to read a script for that big and he reads it so literally that it comes out funny. Artie was grossed out every time Eric made a ''chh'' sound because it's so filled with phlegm. Howard replayed the call after that and got a few more laughs out of it. The woman at the pharmacy was trying to be nice but Eric drove her over the edge and upset her.

Howard said that he heard that there's a warrant out for Eric's arrest or something but he wasn't sure of the details.

Quadriplegic Zach Calls In. 01/07/08. 8:40am
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was at the Jon Hein thing over the weekend. He got to see everyone from the show that showed up. Robin knew who he was and said that they actually have a history. The guy, Zach, said that he had called in years ago and pretended to be someone else and caused some problems between his brother and his friend. Howard thanked him for the story and sounded like he was about to hang up on him. Zach said that he was sitting with some of the old ladies and some people thought that Ralph was Howard when he walked in. Howard said it's very odd how Ralph tries to look like him and gets off on it.

Zach said that Ronnie looked like Schneider from One Day at a Time with the big wad of keys on his belt. Howard asked why Zach is in a wheelchair. He said that he hit a sand bar when he was out swimming and now he's a quadriplegic. That led to Artie talking about how a lot of people get hurt in the ocean when they dive in.

Howard said that he once bashed his head into a wall in the pool when he was swimming with his kids. Ralph was back on the phone and laughing in the background as he heard that story.

Ralph said that he's not trying to look like Howard, he thinks that Howard is the one trying to look like him. He said that Howard is the one cutting his hair shorter. He said that he doesn't go out and buy clothes like Howard's, it's Howard who has him shopping for him. Howard hung up on him a short time later.

Lee The Alleged Stalker Calls In. 01/07/08. 8:45am
Howard took a call from Lee the Stalker who called in last week. He asked Howard who he thinks is a bigger player in show business, John Melendez (Stuttering John) or Artie. Howard said it's Artie. Artie is getting paid bigger money than John is. He said that Artie is a personality on the show while John is just a joke now. HE's no Ed McMahon like he thought he was going to be. He said that it was basically false advertising for John when they hired him over there.

Howard said that Artie is doing guest shots on big shows and doing Letterman and things like that. Gary said that Stuttering John is going to do an interview for the History of Howard Stern. Howard said he thinks that John is afraid of being fired by Jay so he stays away from the show for the most part. He said he likes John though and he does miss him.

lee asked if he could come in and get his balls shocked for his birthday. Howard said he'd have to think about something like that. He's not sure he wants to get involved with that guy.

Howard finished playing the High Pitch Eric call and played some extra stuff where they had him saying words where he'd do the ''chh'' thing that Artie hates so much. He said that Eric just ''sweats disgustingness.''

Dr. Phil Discussions And More. 01/07/08. 8:50am
Howard said that he had a clip from a news report where a reporter let the F-word fly accidentally. He said fucks instead of folks. He said that Rosanna Scotto also let the C-word fly accidentally. He played that clip where she was saying something about a contest but accidentally said ''cunt... contest...''

Howard played a clip of Dr. Phil explaining why he went to see Britney Spears after her family requested that he do so. Howard went off on the guy for going out and doing press after that and how he could have kept his mouth shut about the whole thing. He said that the guy isn't even a real doctor, he's just got a PHD. He said that anyone who has a PHD shouldn't be calling themselves doctors. He said that he loves when Chiropractors call themselves doctors too.

Howard said that he's not going to call any of those people ''doctor'' if he comes across them. He said that he'd like to know more about Dr. Phil's PHD and how he managed to get that. He heard that he went to the University of North Texas so he wanted to know what you need to get into that school. Robin laughed and said that you probably just need a driver's license.

Howard played more of the Dr. Phil clip and goofed on him a bit. He asked about the University of North Texas and found out that Stone Cold Steve Austin graduated there too. He joked that they must have majored in bullshit. Gary said that they found out that schools are ranked as tiers and that school is ranked as a fourth tier school which is pretty bad.

Jon Hein came in to explain the tier ratings for schools. He said that there are first tiers like Harvard and Yale. Then there are second tier like Boston University and Stanford. Then there are third tier that are satellite tier schools like that. Then there are the fourth tier which are lower than those. He said that you probably don't need much to get into those schools.

Howard said that the average grade point average for a student going there is a mere 2.2. That led to Artie doing his Animal House impression where he does the ''Zero point zero'' speech. Howard read more stats about Dr. Phil's school and how low your SAT scores can be to get in there. Jon reminded Howard that they've changed them since Dr. Phil went so they probably only required about an 800 back then.

Robin said that she just found what you need to get into that school. She said that you just need to have graduated high school. Howard said that he now knows what he wants to talk to David Letterman about next week, Dr. Phil.

Howard said that guy Fred Thompson seems like a real asshole. He and the guys spent a minute talking about him before Howard moved on. Robin interrupted him and said that there actually were more requirements to get into that school that Dr. Phil went to. She said that you need a 950 SAT score. Howard said he really hates that PHD thing and people calling themselves doctors with that. He said that Dr. Phil shouldn't be allowed to call himself one. He suggested that they should be called ''Schmoctors'' or something like that, not doctor. He said that it should be Schmoctor Phil.

Howard said he read that Dr. Phil also went to a fourth tier school to do his undergrad studies. He goofed on him about that and then took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to defend the PHD thing. Howard said he's got nothing against a PHD, it's the way that it's used that he's upset about. He said that this guy on the phone had a PHD in psychology and he went to a better school so he should be upset with Dr. Phil. The guy said that he's a psychologist himself. He said that Dr. Phil was the lucky one who got in with Oprah Winfrey, that's why he's got the fame he does.

Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that Dr. Phil is a real asshole. She went off on him and said that his wife even thinks that she's a doctor. She also said that she knows what Howard is good on Letterman and he should just go on and have fun and be himself. Howard said he doesn't hate Letterman, he just doesn't like doing the show.

Chuck Zito Facts And More. 01/07/08. 9:05am
Howard said he got something in the mail about Chuck Zito. It was the top 100 facts about Chuck that people don't know. He read through some of those and the guy who wrote it was a big fan of Chuck's. He points out things like the fact that he can eat a Rubik's cube and shit it out solved. He actually died 10 years ago but the grim reaper is too afraid to approach him to kill him off.

Howard read through a bunch of the stuff and got some laughs from the guys. This guy wrote everything as if Chuck were some type of God. There was a reference to Tom Cruise in one of the comments so that led to Howard talking about something that was in a book about Tom Cruise. The author claims that the baby that Tom and his wife had was actually the sperm from L. Ron Hubbard. Howard said he hopes that it's true but he's not sure if that's the case. Artie said he heard something about that but he didn't hear that it might actually be his actual sperm.

Howard talked about some other stuff about Tom Cruise that they had heard. Artie heard some stuff to so he threw that into the conversation. They spent a couple of minutes on that stuff and talked about how that author is so afraid of the Scientologists that he's moved and won't tell anyone where he went.

Howard said there was a picture of Tony Romo out with Jessica Simpson in Cabo. He said that Jessica is looking really hot in the pictures. They talked about that for a short time but Howard had to go to break before getting to more stuff.

Juror JD Stuck As An Alternate. 01/07/08. 9:20am
During the commercial break we learned that JD was stuck in jury duty. Gary said that they could have gotten him out of it if he had just said something about working for the Stern show or something like that. Howard said that he should just stand up and say the N-word and they'll kick his ass out. JD said that he's actually just an alternate though. Howard said that he's probably keeping it because it's higher paying than his job there at SIRIUS. JD said he's not even sure if he's going to be getting the $8 per day. He said that if his employer pays him, they may not pay him that money. He said he just wants to get it over with.

Howard asked JD how long they interviewed him. JD said that they went through a whole sheet of questions and asked him all of this stuff. He said that they were herding people in like cattle when they were picking the jury. He said they looked over his sheet and asked the questions. JD said that they brought up Howard's name and asked him if he was against lawyers the same way Howard was. JD said he has a hard time lying so he said that he didn't care about that stuff.

Gary said that he had to testify in front of a grand jury one time and when he walked into the room there was a guy with a stocking on his head who slept through his whole testimony. He said it was like 12 Scott the Engineer's sitting there listening to him.

Robin said that if JD gets on the jury, he could end up as foreman. Howard said that if someone asks you if you agree with Howard Stern's views, you agree with it and they kick you off the jury. It's easy to get off of that stuff. Howard gave JD some advice about what he could do to get out of the whole thing by throwing out some racial slurs and stuff like that. He did his impression of JD and goofed on him for a little while.

Howard said that when Fred goes to Jury Duty he shows up in a Hitler costume, that's why he never has to sit on a jury. He finished up the Dial a Mattress commercial he was doing and came back from the break a short time later.

Artie's 7000 Square Foot Summer House Almost Ready. 01/07/08. 9:30am
After the break we heard a Wendy the Retard prank where the guys had her responding to a phony voice mail system and to Ronnie the Limo Driver audio clips, black preacher audio clips and Dice Clay clips. Fred also played some Led Zeppelin ''Dazed and Confused'' as they were coming out of break. Howard came back a short time later and said that he got a picture from Will and this chick claims that she's a model but she's got an ass even bigger than J-Lo's. He said that it's a little too big for him. He said that he'd bang her because she's hot but that ass is kind of big.

Will asked him if he wanted to have her on but she didn't have a lot of stuff to talk about other than the fact that she's one of those chicks who didn't think she could have sex until she was engaged, and now she's been engaged like 5 times. Howard said that it didn't seem that interesting to him. Will came in and said that she's had sex with celebrities but she doesn't want to talk about the stuff. He said he did get it out of her that she had a Saudi Prince buy her a house. Howard said he was going to pass on this chick.

Artie said that he knew this guy who was a Saudi Prince who didn't have to work and all he does is sit home and fuck all the time. He said that he's seen him out with chicks and he's not sure if he just calls whores and has them over or what. He said that the kid is at his father's beckon call but other than that he can just sit around doing nothing.

Artie said that this guy was at the building he was living in out in L.A. when he was on the Norm Show. He said he was paying $5,000 a month for rent at this place and lived in the same building as Stevie Wonder. Howard asked Artie how his new house is coming along. He said that it's looking really good and it's almost done. He said he loves it and can't wait for it to be done. He said that it's going to be a summer house so he won't be there all the time.

Artie said he'll be able to get in within about a month or so. He's going to have a TV show doing the media room there. He said they have a huge center island in the kitchen and things like that. Howard said that he can imagine the eating that's going to go on there. Artie said he's going to have an elevator that goes from the basement to the top floor where the media room is.

Artie said his house is 7000 square feet and it's got 7 fucking bedrooms. Howard asked him if he's going to fuck in every one of those seven rooms. He said he's going to try. Howard and Robin had some fun goofing on Artie about that stuff. Artie said that he won't be able to stay there because he'll be out doing comedy shows to pay for it. He said that Robin will be able to bring her boat up there and dock it at his pier. He said he's got room for four boats there but he doesn't even have one.

Robin can bring her boat or have Jim Florentine drive it up there. Fred went into his Jim impression and said that he was going to be playing with her ''man in the boat'' while she drove her boat. Howard said that Robin once crashed into her dock one time. Robin said that she didn't crash, she just got stuck.

Artie said that he told Robin to come down to his place every weekend if she wants. Robin said that she might find her way there with her captain helping her out. Artie said that he'd like to take his boat from that house to Hoboken where he lives now. He's right on the Hudson so he could technically do that. He figures it would take him like 7 hours to do it through.

The guys talked about how they had to talk Artie into buying a house like this. He wanted to sell the place in Hoboken and just buy another house instead of having two places. Howard said that Artie almost quit the show over that conversation. Artie said he never said he was going to quit over that.

Howard thinks that Artie will have some fun at this new house and he'll have to get a boat so he can go out and stare at his house or float up to Hoboken and just stare at his apartment. Howard said he never wanted to get a boat because he'd end up like Gilligan on Gilligan's Island.

Howard took a call from a guy who had a suggestion for Howard doing his Letterman thing next week. The guy suggested that he talk about the merger and maybe request a congressional investigation into the whole thing. Howard said that may come up next week. The guy thinks that the government won't approve it because they have no control over the service at this point.

Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/07/08. 9:50am
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said that they have a story about the Howard Stern rest stop and how they've shut it down. It's all chained up and no longer a real rest stop. There is no reference to it being the Howard Stern Rest Stop anymore either. Howard said that sucks. He figures that he won't get honored for anything until after he's dead.

Steve said that they have more on Artie's book ''Too Fat To Fish'' and what a huge fan of Artie and the Stern Show the publishers are. Steve said that they have a story about High Pitch Eric as well but they're looking into that further before announcing if he's up on charges or anything.

Jon Hein came in and gave his preview of the Wrap Up Show. they're going to talk about Ronnie and his new ''friend'' that he brought to the Bat Mitzvah party over the weekend. Howard said that it was all a shock to him. He said that she's only 24 years old and he's not sure he could date anyone that young since his daughter is turning 25. He said that age would have to be his cut off.

Artie said that he's upset that he missed Howard's crazy single time. He said it would have been a great way to die partying with Howard and all of the chicks he was seeing. Howard said that he doesn't think that he'd be able to date anyone that young unless his daughter was like 27, that way he'd start to work his way backwards.

Howard said he heard that Jon was upset that he thought that he only got the invite to that Bat Mitzvah because he wanted the money. Jon said that Ronnie gave a very generous gift and a very nice card as well. He said that JD was the cheapest but they were fine with that. He said he also sent the money in a Hannah Montana singing birthday card. JD came in and said that he gave her $25. He doesn't have a lot of money to be shelling out for stuff like that.

Howard asked JD if he considered $30. JD just said ''Whatever...'' Howard heard that he wore sneakers to the Bat Mitzvah too. He said that's not cool. They had a picture of him wearing the same type of pants he was wearing this morning. Artie said he looks like the bass player for The Clash. JD said he didn't know it was going to be that nice of a party.

Jon said that Howard, Fred and Artie gave the most money. Fred gave $500 and so did Howard and Artie. Howard thought he sent $1000 but it turns out it was just $500. Robin said that was really rude that he only sent that much but claimed he'd sent $1000. Robin said she thought he had sent $1000 and that's why she gave $500. Howard said he must have been in a mood, it all depends on the mood he's in.

Gary said he was going to give what Howard gave but then he figured he could lower it a little bit. Ralph called in and asked why they all do what Howard does. He said that he thinks that Howard owes Jon $500. Ralph said that he was just going to sign Robin's card and go in on the money with Robin.

Howard heard that Richard Christy only gave $100 for two people. Jon said that was correct. Ralph thought it was kind of tacky that Jon was telling people how much they were giving. Howard told him to shut up and hung up on him.

Artie said that Richard is an insane alcoholic so he wouldn't know what to give. Richard came in and said that he thought that $100 was really good for a party like that. He said he was looking at it as a 13 year old's birthday party. Richard was also wearing a yarmulke at the event so the guys thought that he was goofing around with it but Richard said that Jon gave it to him so he just wore it.

Ralph called back and said that he thought that Teddy, Artie's assistant, looked like a mess at the party. he's got a huge belly and his suit was all wrinkled up. They spent a minute on that before Howard had Jon get back to his Wrap Up Show preview.

Jon said that they're going to talk about Howard's upcoming Letterman appearance and about the Dr. Phil stuff they did and a bunch of other things. Howard thanked him for that and congratulated him on his daughter's Bat Mitzvah.

Howard heard that Benjy didn't bring a gift for Jon's daughter to the party. Benjy said that he thinks it's a pain in the ass to do that so he had the check and the card with him this morning. Howard told him to just bring it with him next time.

Robin's News. 01/07/08. 10:05am
Howard wanted Robin to start her news so Fred played one of her theme songs. She got into her news starting off with a story about the latest Spider-Man comic book and how he's single in the latest issue. Howard said that the plot of the story was lame because they made it a dream like they do in so many stories. Jas

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