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HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-16-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 64K MP3 CF torrent

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Get all your Howard Stern Show Downloads here first

David Spade Knocked Up Playmate Jillian Grace!? 01/16/08. 6:00am
Merger, Mel Brooks, Letterman And Other Discussions. 01/16/08. 6:30am
Jason Vs. Scott DePace Update. 01/16/08. 6:40am
Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/16/08. 7:15am
Bubba Discusses Benjy's Odd Behavoir. 01/16/08. 7:20am
Don King Visits. 01/16/08. 7:30am
More David Spade And Jillian Grace Discussions. 01/16/08. 8:15am
Comedian Gilbert Gottfried Visits. 01/16/08. 9:05am
Howard Plays Some Jackie's Joke Hunt Clips. 01/16/08. 9:20am
Voice Mail And Phone Calls. 01/16/08. 9:35am
Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/16/08. 9:50am
Mark Burnett Sends Howard A New Microwave? 01/16/08. 10:00am
Robin's News. 01/16/08. 10:10am
Wrap Up Show - Jillian Grace And David Spade. 01/16/08. 11:05am
Wrap Up Show - Jason And Will's Friendship. 01/16/08. 11:15am
Wrap Up Show - Don King Interview. 01/16/08. 11:40am
Wrap Up Show - Gilbert Gottfried And Howard And Beth Discussions. 01/16/08. 11:45am

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

David Spade Knocked Up Playmate Jillian Grace!? 01/16/08. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A Chris Rock comedy clip about strip clubs, Sugar Ray performing ''Every Morning'' live in Howard's K-Rock studio.

Howard started off the show talking about the band Sugar Ray and how it's a shame that they don't perform anymore. Robin said they do perform but Howard said he thought that the lead singer was the host of one of those entertainment news shows. Robin said they still go out on the weekends to perform.

Howard said that he got home yesterday and saw that he'd gotten an e-mail from David Spade. He said that Spade asked him how late he was going to be up and it was already 7pm and it was almost time for bed. He told Spade to call him then but he never heard from him so he just went to bed. Robin asked if that's all there was to the story. He gave her a hard time about that and told her that he had plenty of time to get to it and she should know that he works up to a story.

Howard said Beth told him when he got up this morning that it was reported that David Spade got a chick pregnant. He asked who it was and he found out it was Jillian Grace who was on their show and ended up as a Playmate. Howard said that kid is a direct product of their show because they got her into Playboy.

Howard said that when you're fucking a high school Playmate, where's the rubber? Artie talked about how they saw a picture of Spade with Jillian Grace a few months ago and they figured they were just seeing things. Now they know that it must have been her.

Howard said that the kookiest letter they'd ever gotten was the one from Jillian's mom telling them that her daughter wanted to be in Playboy and she was hoping to bring her in. Howard said they told her that she was going to be at the Playboy mansion banging Pauly Shore and they were right about that. Artie said that everything that they've predicted has been coming true.

Gary came in and told Howard that Jillian's mom had sent that letter right after Jillian got out of school. They talked about how crazy all of this is. Howard said that the last they heard was that Jillian was a personal trainer out in St. Louis, and she wanted to train Artie.

Howard figured that Spade didn't wear a rubber but he doesn't know that for sure. He said he guesses that the condom could have broken. He said that Spade has released a press release about this and he's saying that he will take care of the kid if it's his. He said that he'd like to have them on the show and take the paternity test there.

Artie said that Jillian owes them some sort of scoop. Gary said that he was going to try and get her on the phone. Howard wondered how much money she's going to be looking for in child support. They figured that it could be something like $25,000 a month since Spade makes decent money. Artie said that he's probably making good money on that sitcom he's working on and that kind of money might cost him 8 episodes worth of salary. He figures that Spade is worth between 8 and 10 million bucks. He's had some good movie takes and a lot of ads and stuff.

Artie said that it's great to know how to do stand-up and he can do all kinds of gigs and put all of that money away. Howard said they have some pictures of Jillian on his web site today. He said he has to check those out.

Howard said that Spade's penis is like the arm on a slot machine and Jillian just hit the jackpot. The guys all checked out the pictures of Jillian and talked about how hot she is. Artie said that this makes him mad that Spade was getting her. The baby part doesn't make him mad though.

Howard said that Spade is going to be tied to her forever now. Artie said that Spade apparently wanted to settle down with a girl and he was trying to find that one. Howard and Robin asked him if he was serious about that. They talked about some of the other women that he was dating and they're pretty sure he didn't want to knock up a 22 year old. Howard said that he didn't want to be a dad and he's pretty sure he just wanted to bang her for a couple of weeks and then move on.

Howard talked to Robin about the kind of money that Spade might have to give up and what he's going to have to go through in court. Howard said he guesses that Spade was going to come clean with him last night but he never got to talk to him. Artie said that he's gotten calls like that before where he asks them to take it easy on him when he's going to be in the news.

Howard said that they're basically responsible for the hook up between those two. He said that he knew that she'd run across Jillian eventually. He said that Jillian is only 22 years old and she only went to high school. He wondered if Spade is going to be involved in raising the kid. He wondered if the kid is going to end up showing up at his door one day asking him where he was.

Howard said that Spade has father issues himself so he may be guilted into doing something with this kid. The guys talked about how James Caan banged a bunch of Playmates and never got any of them pregnant.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that Spade won't have to pay a lot of money. He said that it all depends on the state he's being sued in. Howard said he thinks that Jillian should take the high road and not ask him for a dime. He said that she should prove that she wants the baby by doing that. Fred threw in the Gilbert Gottfried laughing clips during that discussion. Howard said it's really not funny and he doesn't mean to laugh. He said that Spade was about to land Jennifer Aniston and then this comes out.

Howard said that Jillian should consider herself lucky that it was Spade and not Pauly Shore. He said that Spade has a lot of money. Artie said that Pauly has a lot of money too. He runs his mother's old comedy club now and he's probably doing very well with that.

Artie said that he wanted to bang this chick himself. Robin said that she's almost like their daughter because she's so young. She also said that they should follow her around through this whole pregnancy and have her doing all of the big tests and stuff on the show.

Howard said that Spade is going to have to move this chick out to California. He's got a big house out there according to Artie. Howard said Spade is going to have to do something because of the father issues. He's going to have to buy a summer home in St. Louis or something.

Gary said that he could try to wake up Jillian's mom. Howard told him to go for it. Artie talked about how great Jillian's tits were, they were perfect. He said that the Howard TV guys should rerun that show where she showed them in the studio for the first time.

Howard took a call from a guy who said he feels bad for Spade. Robin said she feels bad for Jillian because she has to bring this kid into this world alone. Howard said that he feels bad for Spade. He said that if he could figure out a way to get pregnant by Spade, he'd do that too.

Gary tried calling Jillian's mom but her number may have changed. He said he did have Jillian's number and left her a message. Howard said that Jillian should have gotten an abortion. He said Spade should have promised her like 50 roller coaster rides if she had gotten one.

The guys talked about how Jillian could go back to her old boyfriend if she gets some decent money from Spade. They said she could get him back and he could stop working. They could get their own gas station out in St. Louis or something and just hang out together all the time.

Howard said that Jillian may end up living out in Malibu or something. Spade may have to give up the house he just bought for her.

Gary wondered how the child support thing works and how she's going to justify what kind of money she's going to need from Spade. Howard said that Spade will have to come through for this kid and support it very well so he doesn't catch shit over it. Robin said he's going to want to pay big so he can be the Dad of the year. Artie said he was going to text Spade and tell him to call in because it's going to be better for him. The guys all laughed when they heard that.

Artie talked about seeing Jillian at a comedy show back when she was first getting into Playboy and how she was still with her old boyfriend. Howard said they should play the tape where they were predicting her future because so much of it has come true so far. Howard said he doesn't think that this is was a one night thing either because there were pictures of her walking around with Spade.

Merger, Mel Brooks, Letterman And Other Discussions. 01/16/08. 6:30am
A caller asked Howard a question about the upcoming merger and if they're going to be able to change the channel line ups if that merger doesn't go through. Howard said that all depends on the merger and the 1 year anniversary of that merger announcement is coming up very soon. Howard and the caller talked about the merger thing and how ridiculous it is that it's been held up so far.

Howard said he loves the service himself and he has about 10 different channels that he changes between when he has parties and stuff.

Gary said that Spade was supposed to call in next week but now he's not sure if that's going to happen. Howard said he really should call in and just get it all out of the way.

Will came in and showed Howard a picture of Jillian. She has a tattoo on her breast now and the guys weren't too thrilled with that. Howard said that she's still hot though. Artie also said that Jillian is one of those Mid-west, milk fed chicks who could end up putting on a few pounds. Howard said that it's too bad he's not the father of that baby. The guys talked about how hot she is and how she'll probably end up getting a dollar sign tattooed on her after this whole Spade thing goes down. Howard suggested that Jillian name her kid ''Jack Pot.''

The caller asked if Mel Brooks is going to be coming in anytime soon. Howard said that he's been sick and he's not sure if the guy went back out to California or not.

Howard said he got a note from the guys over at Letterman telling him how great he was on the show last week. He said it was a really nice note that Rob Burnett took time to write to him. He said it was really nice that he was saying that the interview was the way things should be done.

Howard said he doesn't keep many e-mails but he did keep the one where Jackie said he was quitting. He said that took a lot of pressure off of him.

Artie said he got the call to do Conan's show but he's not sure if he wants to cross the picket line. Howard told him he should talk to his people about that. He said that he wouldn't do it himself. He said that he may not want to cross that line. Bill Maher was on Leno last night and he should know better than that. The guys talked about how strange that was. Artie said that he's heard Maher doing some anti-union material before so that might be why he did the show.

The caller on the line asked Artie where he was with his snacks for the day but Howard talked right over him and told Artie that Conan's past few guests have been news anchors. It has to be tough for those guys to do those shows like that.

Howard said he wants to know who is scabbing for Leno right now and writing those monologues for his show. He said he doesn't think that Jay could handle that all himself and someone should look into that. Artie said he was listening to the news this morning and they play jokes from Leno and Letterman and he heard a really funny joke on Leno. He said it was one of the funniest things he'd ever heard on his show.

Jason Vs. Scott DePace Update. 01/16/08. 6:40am
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what's going on with the Jason and Scott DePace fight. Howard had to explain that things got so heated on the Wrap Up Show that the two of them were talking about doing a fight. That led to Howard playing some highlights from the Wrap Up Show leading up to the fight challenge. Jason and Scott were arguing about their dislike for each other.

Howard said that the two of them are really losing it. He said that they're both babies at times. DePace was threatening to leave the show because he wasn't getting in what he wanted to say. Jason and Scott were calling each other names and explaining why they were so against each other.

Howard played another clip where Jason was talking about the Christmas card he made of him with all of the fat pictures of him. Scott complained about the things he says about him and why that upsets him. Howard said that they should get married based on the way they argue.

Artie said that the fighting does sound immature. Howard said that Scott was taking the goofing on his Video Caddy thing way too seriously. He said that Jason was goofing on it just as much as anyone else was but Scott was taking it all out on Jason. Artie said that whole thing is a very sensitive thing for Scott because he's spent so much time on that product.

Scott came in and explained to Howard that he wouldn't do something like that if he was friends with them. He also told Artie that he's had the same kind of arguments with Sal and Richard. Artie said that he was doing that because they were being phony, Scott has a different argument than he does. Scott was saying that they'd be pissed if they were in the same position as he was.

Howard wanted to finish playing the clips of Scott and Jason. They eventually work up to talking about fighting each other. Scott said he's done with this stuff though and he doesn't want to go there again. Howard got back into the clips where Scott and Jason were arguing. Gary and Will were also throwing in some comments about their fighting. Howard said that this just goes on all day.

Howard played the clip where Jason challenged Scott to a fight. He was basically willing to take him on and then Scott said that he'd do that with one arm tied behind his back. Gary was saying that it might be the coolest fight ever.

Howard said that he can picture Scott beating Jason with one hand. The guys said that Jason isn't very athletic. He might have some rage in him though and he might be able to handle himself. Howard said he wouldn't want Jason to go into that fight though. Jason said that he would have a better chance of beating Scott if he did have one arm tied back.

Jason said he's embarrassed by this whole thing and he doesn't like it at all. He doesn't want to talk about this stuff. Howard heard that Jason and Will aren't talking right now because of the way Will has been acting. Jason said it's not about this but he is kind of bummed out about Will as a friend. He's not sure if he wants to talk about it on the air though.

Jason said that he and Will were very tight and even lived together for a while. He feels that Will has a lot of anger toward him and he's not sure where it's coming from. He said that Will gets angry every time he puts Mutt up on the phone to promote Superfan Roundtable. Will came in and said that Jason has gotten a little crazy with the way he has to be hands on about everything in the office. He said that the confidence pills he takes has changed him a lot. He said he's been a micro-manager lately. Howard said that he likes micro-managers, that's what he needs in the office.

Jason said that he really thought that he and Will were close friends but Will was saying they were never really that close. Jason said that really bummed him out to hear Will saying that they weren't that close. Howard said that he thinks that Jason is upset that he's not involved with Will's wedding. Jason said that's not the case. He said that Will is involved with his wedding but he hadn't even asked him to be part of it yet.

Will said something about Jason's fat ass crushing him and that didn't go over very well with Jason. Will said that he was just kidding and it was a friendly joke. Howard said that Jason seems to think that they were really close friends but now all of this was falling down on him.

Will said that he and Jason never really hang out outside of the show. Howard asked Jason who is number 1 on his Myspace page. Jason said that Will just dropped down a notch. Jason said that Will has a lot of anger toward him and he mutters about him under his breath a lot.

Will said that everything that Jason says to him is kind of irritating to him. Scott said that this was kind of depressing to even him. He was feeling bad for Jason after hearing Will going off on him. Howard said that he thought that Will and Jason were really close but now he's not so sure. Will said that he does share things with Jason that he doesn't share with anyone else. That kind of slowed down when they moved out and stopped being roommates.

Scott said that Jason is very demanding and he does ask for things from them sometimes. He said that he'll demand a picture or something and it's like he's got nothing else to do. Gary said that he asks Jason to run meetings sometimes and people will end up throwing stuff at him.

Jason said that he was asked to run a meeting one time and he took over the way he thought he should. He gets no respect from anyone though. Will and Scott had different stories about the meeting than Jason did. Jason said he was telling the guys the way he thought that Gary and Howard would want some things done and he couldn't get any respect from anyone there.

Howard said that this has gone way longer than he expected. Gary said that he had something to add to this. He said that he was hurt by something that happened yesterday. He said that Scott had said something throwing people under the bus and Will said that it wouldn't serve him well to throw his boss under the bus himself. He said that kind of hurt him because that makes him think that Will would throw him under the bus if he wasn't his boss.

Howard said he'd like to see this fight but he's not sure it would be the best thing for Jason. He said that it would be funny to see Scott beating up Jason with one arm tied behind his back.

Howard said that this sounds like Jason wants to be closer to Will than he is but things just don't work out. Jason said he was just saying that he thought they were closer than Will thinks they are. He's not looking to get closer to him.

Howard said that the audience hates all three of them and that's why he has to end this. He said he thinks he knows the audience better than they do. Artie said that he feels bad for Jason because he's not sure how he's going to get any work done like this.

Fred did an impression of Jason and goofed on him a little bit. Artie said that Jason is going to be going to Amsterdam for his bachelor party and it sounds like he might go to see what it's like. Howard said he's done with this whole thing now. He doesn't want to talk about it anymore. He had to take a break a short time later.

Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/16/08. 7:15am
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to Gary the Retard where they kept saying hello to him over and over again. Fred also played Sal the Stockbroker's ''My Wife'' song parody. Howard came back a short time later and had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. She came in talking about Don King's jacket and how wild it looked.

Lisa said she spoke to Gary's wife about his braces plans and she thinks that he should pass on it and not do anything. She doesn't think that it's going to make that much of a change. Howard said that he heard that Gary got a text message from Jackie last night where he was asking him about his braces and if he wanted to come on his show. Gary said that was the last place he wanted to go. He said he heard that Jackie did a whole show based on orthodontist jokes.

Gary said that his appointment with the orthodontist is on Friday. He's not sure he's going to do anything and it was harsh when Ralph told him that he needs to work on his fat before the braces.

Lisa talked a little more about Gary's wife but the guys were goofing on Jackie a little bit about his show. Artie said he was a fan of Jackie's show but Fred didn't seem to be one.

Lisa said that JD was asked who he could take down in a fight if he had to fight one. He said he might be able to take down High Pitch Mike but Mike thinks that he can beat JD. Howard said he thinks that Mike might be able to win because he has that rage in him that JD doesn't.

Bubba Discusses Benjy's Odd Behavior. 01/16/08. 7:20am
Howard said he had some clips from yesterday's Bubba the Love Sponge show where he talked about Benjy's odd behavior out there. Bubba said that Benjy is just a weird dude and Goodstein was saying that it's like hanging out with a giant baby. Bubba talked about the meal they ordered and how Benjy couldn't decide on what he wanted. He put off his order while everyone else had put theirs in. Bubba said he wanted to know what was wrong and Benjy said he had a question. He then heard that Benjy wanted to eat something that would keep him from going to the bathroom for about a day so he wouldn't have to poop while they were out there.

Bubba said that Benjy was just a weirdo while everyone else was pretty normal. Howard said that Benjy is a weirdo and it's all just retarded. Benjy said that he didn't want to order anything that would make him have to go because they were going to go to an orgy. He said that he had to use the bathroom as soon as he got to the party.

Howard asked Benjy what he did eat. Benjy said he ate a turkey burger without the bun. He told Benjy that even he doesn't think that much about food. He said that Benjy eats all day long and then he worries at the last minute at this dinner he was at.

Benjy said he didn't want to be overly full but he didn't want to be hungry. Artie said that Benjy gets way more energetic when he's out and it's like he takes confidence pills. Benjy said that's just because he doesn't have Howard telling him he's stupid. Howard wrapped up with that conversation a short time later.

Don King Visits. 01/16/08. 7:30am
Howard said that Don King was stopping by to promote the Felix Tito Trinidad vs. Roy Jones Jr. fight this weekend. He was wearing a wild looking jacket so he asked him if that was full of conflict diamonds. Don jokingly said they were all conflict diamonds.

Howard asked Don if he still backs George Bush like he did the last time he was on the show. Don said that he feels safer now than he did back then so he thinks that Bush is doing a good job. He said that he doesn't get to go visit him often but he has been to the White House a few times.

Howard asked Don what he does when he goes over to Iraq to see the troops. Don said that he goes there to raise the moral of the troops but didn't say exactly what he does. He said that he has to pay tribute to the parents and the families of the troops that are over there.

Howard asked Don what he has to do to get himself over to Iraq. Don said that it's the USO that sets him up and they really should be supported. He said that they do a lot for the troops over there. He said that he calls the USO and asks them to send him over there. He said that he's a supporter of the USO.

Howard said that Don is 76 years old and told him that he looks really good. He asked him if he fought in any wars or anything. Don said that he was actually in jail so he didn't have to fight in any big wars. He said he got out of the draft because he was in jail.

Howard asked Don about who was with him when he went over to Iraq. He said he had a producer with him and a guy by the name of Richie Rubeinstein. Howard said this wasn't much of a group to be going over to entertain. Don said that the troops were very happy to see them even if they don't know them all that well. He said that the troops were very happy to see anyone who would come out and put their life in harm's way. Their helicopter was attacked on the way there but they made it through just fine. He said that they had to wear body armor while they were there.

Don said he went to the hospitals there and visited some of the troops at 3 or 4 bases over there. He said he invited some of the guys to the fight this Saturday night and some of them will be there. That led to Howard asking him about this big fight. He said that it was a title fight but Don said that it's a people's title.

Howard asked Don about the settlement he had with Mike Tyson. Don said he's very happy with the settlement. He said that Mike was suing for much more than he got. He thinks that Mike is a great guy and he's pretty sure that if he saw him walk in the room, he'd get a hug and not a punch. Artie did his Tyson impression and said he would punch him.

Howard asked don about the tough times he's had with money over the years. Don said that he's just happy to be an American in this land. He said he came from having ''sub-nothing'' to where he is now. He said that this is a blessing. He said Robin must know what that's like.

Howard asked Don if he's tired and weary after all of these years of doing this stuff. He wondered if he's ever said he's just done with it all. Don said that he has this gift from God to be able to go out and do this stuff so he'd like to keep doing it.

Howard asked Don if it was true that Mike Tyson punched out one of his body guards. Don said he did punch out a friend of his, he wasn't a body guard. He said that was kind of painful for all of them. Howard asked Don who was the best, Tyson or Ali. Don seemed to be going with Ali because he really was the greatest.

Howard asked Don if he's still married. Don said that he is and then said that he does cheat, but just with his eyes. He said that if you look at a beautiful woman, you're cheating. He talked about how beautiful Robin was since he was looking at her in there.

Howard gave Don some plugs for the fight and said that it's on this Saturday night on Pay-Per-View. He then asked Don who he thinks is the hottest super star out there right now. Don said that he loves all women and he couldn't pick just one. He said that women should be cherished. He said that he's just excited about all women. Howard asked if he needs Viagra. Don said that he doesn't and then started saying a bunch of religious stuff. Howard asked him if he wakes up with a hard on ever. He said that he's been trying to avoid that for a long time. He said he doesn't have any trouble peeing or anything like that after Howard asked about that.

Howard gave Don some more plugs for the fight and asked him about his kids. Don said that his son is doing great. He said that his son is a dead beat dad but there's really nothing he can do about that. He said that he tries to talk to his son about that stuff and tells him he has to come up with the money to pay for those kids. He said he doesn't know the kids because they didn't want them involved in the kids lives.

Don got in another plug for the fight and said that it's going to be a great show. Howard asked Don if it's true that he has a photographic memory. Don was all over the place with his answers and didn't really give him a yes or no answer. He'd go off on a tangent and talk about other things and how God blessed him with everything he has.

Howard asked Don about his thoughts on the upcoming election. don said he didn't have a choice yet but when he sees who will be there, he will make a choice. Howard gave him some more plugs and wrapped up with Don. He took a call from Leon Spinks (audio clips) where they had him talking about how he doesn't like Don King and mumbling some other unintelligible stuff. That led to Don saying that Leon's son is going to be doing a fight for him in March.

Howard took some more calls for Don and let some people ask some questions. Some people were saying that they go after Don for his son's child support because he's his son's employer. Don said that he's never even met this granddaughter of his. Don also said that the son he's talking about doesn't work for him either. He said that the caller had the wrong son.

Ralph called in and said that he had dinner with Don one night and he's a very mellow guy, unlike what you'd think he'd be like.

Artie asked Don which fight he thinks was the best he ever saw. He mentioned about 3 fights that he saw over his lifetime and how great they were. He mentioned a couple of Ali fights and another one that he really thought was great. Howard asked Don a few more questions about being in jail and if he ever had to kiss a man when he was in but Don just started yelling out his plugs for the fight he was promoting.

Howard asked Don about the boxer's penises he's seen over the years. He said he didn't have time to be looking at that stuff. He also wouldn't comment on the Oscar De Lahoya pictures that were out last year. He said he didn't want to bad mouth anyone, he thinks that he's doing that well enough on his own. Howard wrapped up a short time later and went to break.

More David Spade And Jillian Grace Discussions. 01/16/08. 8:15am
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal made to a pizza place where he asked for a nice delivery boy to be sent to his house. Fred also played a 888-9-ASSHOLE jingle and some Ed Wood ''Fuck You'' and ''Bullshit'' song parodies. They came back with some Van Halen ''Everybody Wants Some'' playing. Howard asked Robin if she watched American Idol last night. She missed it but Howard told her that it's basically the same formula as always. He thinks that they found a winner already. This chick who lives out in a log cabin and had to sell her horse to get to the audition. He said that she's gorgeous and even hotter than Carrie Underwood.

Howard said they were talking about David Spade earlier and how he may have gotten Jillian Grace pregnant. Jillian was on the show back in 2004 and they helped get her into Playboy back then. Howard said that she'll probably end up with about $25,000 a month in child support. He said that Gary looked up some stuff and found that 50 Cent is paying about that much for his kid.

Howard read through some of the notes that Gary found. He looked up Matt Liner who is an NFL player and he's paying $15,000 a month. Robin said she thinks that's about where David will end up. Artie said that this is the story of the year. He's been texting Spade this morning busting his balls but he's not calling in. He said he thinks that he would be better off calling in than letting them go off on him all morning.

Howard said that he's pretty sure that Jillian wouldn't keep this kid if it wasn't Spade's. He said that Spade should be offering her some big money to get an abortion. Howard said that it's going to look bad if he abandons the kid like his father did to him.

Dominic Barbara called in and said that he thinks that they have to go by what Spade earns per year. They figured that he's making a couple of million a year. Dominic said it'll probably be 15-20 thousand a month. He was telling the guys how things will probably go for Spade if this kid turns out to be his for sure.

Dominic said that the kid is going to need security and that's one of the things that the mother is going to claim in court. She can say that she needs that kind of money to support all of that. Dominic said that there are some formulas that they'd have to go through to figure out exactly how much Spade will be paying.

Fred said that Spade has a lot of cash because he's got a house on the market for $16 million. Howard said that this is the jackpot for Jillian. it's no wonder Spade collapsed in the gym last week. He must have just found out about it that day.

Howard said that he feels bad for Spade but he should have worn a rubber. Robin said that he should know better, he's a grown man. Artie said that Spade always lives above his means and he flies on private jets and stuff all the time.

Ralph called in and said that this is the best story ever. Howard said that Spade e-mailed him last night and he wanted to talk. He never heard from him but he knows he wanted to talk about this whole thing. Robin asked Howard if David had asked him not to talk about it, would he have avoided it. Howard said that he wouldn't be able to avoid this story, it's too big.

Howard said that the letter they got from Jillian's mother back in 2004 was the weirdest thing he ever saw. He said that they knew that Jillian was going to get into Playboy and they knew that she was going to be with Pauly Shore after she broke up with her boyfriend. They were right about that and now she's going to be able to back to that old boyfriend and marry him and he won't even have to work.

The guys talked about that day when they were predicting Jillian's future when she was trying to get into Playboy. Jason told Gary that they definitely mentioned Spade's name during that discussion. Gary said they'd have the tape tomorrow so they could go through all of that.

Howard said that no guy bangs a 22 year old Playmate without a condom. Ralph told him that everyone does it without a rubber, Howard is the only one who does it with one all the time. The guys talked about the condom thing for a few minutes and how Howard is the only guy who likes to have sex with a condom on.

Howard said that he must be freaked out right now. Gary asked him what he would do if he was at the mansion and Jillian came on to him and he didn't have a rubber with him. Howard said that he would walk away. HE's been in a situation like that and he can walk away because it goes through his mind that she could get pregnant and he's just not going to do that again. He said that he could have 50 fuckin vodkas in him and he would walk away. He said that if you want to get off, you grab your own dick and jerk off, then get out of the room.

Howard said that Jillian would have had an abortion if this wasn't Spade's kid. He's pretty sure about that.

Gary said that Spade has a couple of shows in syndication. He's making a lot of money from shows like ''Just Shoot Me'' because that's a big syndication deal. Howard said that Spade didn't shoot his load into Jillian, he shot his life savings in there.

Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he would do if he jerked off and some chick shoved his load into herself and she got pregnant. Howard said that he couldn't keep it quiet, that's not something that would be possible. He said he'd have to tell Beth about it and she'd probably have to leave him. Artie asked Howard if he thinks that Beth would ever forgive him for something like that. He said that he's sure that she'd leave him. He said that he'd have to come totally clean if he did something like that. Howard said that he would try to keep Beth but he knows better. He said that if he wants her, he wouldn't be cheating. The guys told him that every guy wants some strange once in a while. Howard said he still thinks about that but he just doesn't go there.

Howard said that it's hard to say no to the strange. He said he's had some experiences before where there were chicks who wanted to hang out with him and he's had to turn them down. He said this one chick out in Vegas wanted to do that and he was very attracted to her but he had to turn her down. He said that he didn't want to lose Beth. Howard said that Beth must go through the same thing but the guys told him that women are different. They don't go through the same kind of thing.

Ralph told Howard that he has some great opportunities and he's blowing them but he's making the right decision to be with Beth. Howard said he was feeling bad now that they were saying all of this. They all told him he was doing the right thing.

Howard said that if he got a woman pregnant, you sit her down and tell her that you're going to help out financially. He said that you have to try and do the right thing for her. Robin asked Howard what he would do if he was just starting to date and this happens. Howard said that you have to just follow through and if the woman wants to keep dating, then you do that.

Dominic Barbara called back in and gave Howard some more scenarios. He asked Howard what he'd do if a woman told him she couldn't have any kids, would he not use a condom. Howard said he would still use one. He said that things can happen and he wouldn't trust anyone who tells him that they're on the pill or anything like that. He trusts no one. Dominic was saying that there have been women who have had two different fathers for their twin kids before too.

Beth called in and told Howard that if she had just started dating him and then found out that he'd gotten someone pregnant, she'd leave. She also said that if he cheated on her now, she would never forgive him. She said that she wouldn't take him back because she's been through similar things before with other people. She can't give forgiveness in something like that.

Beth also said that she does have interesting men come up to her and hit on her. She said that she's in the same situation about wondering about other men but she would never go there. Robin said that for men it's the body that reacts, for women it's their mind. Howard said he was getting depressed hearing all of this. He said that there is a lot of temptation out there.

Howard said that Beth is saying that she's giving up a lot too and both of them have to do that to stay together. Artie said that if either of them cheated on each other it would be the most shocking thing ever for him. Howard said he would never do that to Beth. He said he'd have to tell her if he ever felt that way about another woman.

Howard said that Beth would be turned off to him if she found out that he had knocked up a 22 year old Playmate and he found out about it 6 months later. Howard said that he thinks she'd be right out the door. He said that's what Spade has to deal with now.

Artie said that he hopes that Spade isn't depressed about this whole thing. He said he might be. Gary came in and said he was looking at the log of the show where they told Jillian that she was going to meet Spade one day and they were going to be calling her Jillian Spade soon. Artie was surprised that he was that close that day.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that it sounds like Beth is getting cold feet about the marriage. Howard said she's just saying that she could have the same kind of temptation that he has. The guy said that it sounds like her feelings are being hurt by the conversations they have about hot chicks. She said she's not hurt, she's in the same situation, it's just a little different.

Another caller said that if Beth can resist Double A in the elf costume, she can resist any guy. He was also congratulating Jillian on her score. Howard said they have to get to Gilbert because he's there and he knows what the horror of knocking up a woman is like.

Howard said he thinks that Beth would have more options with men than he'd have with other women. Beth didn't think that was the case. He let her go a short time later. He said that she really loves him and he can't imagine giving her up for any reason. He said that she's hot and a wonderful woman.

Artie said that Howard told a story one time about a hot chick who used the N-word when he was out with her. Howard didn't take her up to his apartment that night because she used the N-word when the bouncer gave her a hard time. He said that he was afraid he was going to get his ass kicked because of her. He said he threw her out of the cab and went home alone that night. Artie said he would have banged her even if she had just gotten finished burning a cross. He doesn't have the will power that Howard does. They went to break a short time later.

Comedian Gilbert Gottfried Visits. 01/16/08. 9:05am
After the break we heard a clip of Ed Torian the lie detector guy singing some songs. We also heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to Gary the Retard where they told him he was no longer retarded. Fred also played some Neil Young ''Southern Man'' as they were coming out of break. Howard came back and said that they had Gilbert Gottfried there. He's in to promote some gig. He had him come in and gave him a plug for that gig.

Howard asked Gilbert what he thinks David Spade should do. Gilbert thinks that he's going to have to give up a lot of his money to her. Howard said that he saw that JD was watching the Leno show with Bill Maher on it. He asked Gilbert if he's been going on the show because of the scab thing. Gilbert said that they haven't called him yet and he's not sure what he'd do if they asked him to go on. Howard said that Artie was asked to go on Conan's show and he's afraid of crossing the picket line.

Gilbert said that he's not in the writer's guild so he's not sure what he'd do. They talked about Bill Maher crossing that line and did impressions of him. Both Artie and Gilbert were doing their impressions a little bit.

Howard played some clips of Bill's appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Some guy in the audience started yelling about saving democracy during the middle of that and no one was sure what he was talking about. Bill said that was just garden variety bat shit that could have gone on any night. Then a second protester started yelling something about NBC and GE. Howard played those clips as well and Jay Leno goes to break as the protester is yelling.

Howard said that Bill was kissing Jay's ass about writing the whole monologue himself. Howard said that he doesn't believe that for a second. IN the clip Bill is telling Jay how great the monologue was and how he's the only one who could do that all by himself. Jay was trying to down play it but Bill was kissing his ass big time and wouldn't let him do that.

Howard asked Gilbert about his work and if he's changed it at all in the past few years. Gilbert said that he doesn't ever change it. He just keeps doing the same stuff. Howard said that Gilbert does put new stuff up on his web site and he claimed that he was the one who got Jamie Lynn Spears pregnant on his web site. He also claims that he got some STDs from Hanna Montana. Gilbert said that there was a big rumor about her getting pregnant and he went on and commented on it. Howard said the real reason Gilbert doesn't write any new jokes is because he's too cheap to buy a new pen. Gilbert told him that he actually did the Hanna Montana TV show.

Howard said that he had Gary call the guy from Wire Image to find out what Gilbert's baby looks like. They heard back from the guy over there and he told them that the picture would be worth something. They look for any celebrity baby pictures. Howard said that it's worth a minimum of $25,000. They're looking forward to getting pictures of Halle Berry and Christina Aguilera's baby. Gary asked the guy what Gilbert's baby picture would be worth. They were told $1,000 to $1,500. Howard said that's pretty good, he thought it had zero value. Gilbert said that he's going to go out and buy a $5 camera and send in some pictures then.

Howard asked Gilbert about the baby and if he's learned anything or come up with any new material. Artie asked why he would do that and bump his great Mork and Mindy jokes for that. Howard figured that Gilbert would have come up with something new based on the baby. Gilbert said that would mean moving his Tanya Harding riff so he hasn't done that.

Howard got back to the writer's strike discussions for a short time. He also gave Gilbert some plugs for his Caroline's comedy club appearance that's coming up this weekend.

Howard Plays Some Jackie's Joke Hunt Clips. 01/16/08. 9:20am
Howard told Gilbert that they found out that Gary, or Baba Booey, is going to an orthodontist on Friday because he's thinking about getting braces. Gilbert let out an ''Oh Jesus... oh my God...'' He said that would be like Barbara Streissand getting a nose job at this point in her career. He said that it's kind of sad and weird about that whole braces thing. That led to Howard talking about how Jackie did a whole ''Jackie's Joke Hunt'' show based on orthodontist jokes. Artie and Gilbert had some fun goofing on Jackie and the kind of jokes he probably just changed to include orthodontists.

Howard played some clips from Jackie's show where he was goofing on Gary after saying he was planning on giving up on joking about Gary's teeth. Jackie said that he heard that Gary was going to the ''Horseodontist'' this week and he had to break his new year's resolution. He went on to describe what's in Gary's mouth and wondered where the teeth were going to move when he got the braces. Jackie was also saying that he always feels sorry for people who have braces because their lips are always espoused to that metal. He said Gary's lips have a hard enough time getting over those teeth. Jackie and his co-host were goofing on Gary's lips and how they'd be huge if his teeth moved away. Jackie said that they'd be like deflated life boats.

Gary said that he'd like to congratulate Jackie on writing his first new jokes in 40 years. He said that whatever they say isn't going to effect his decision on what he does.

Howard said that he read that Oprah has made another huge deal to take over the Discovery Health channel and rename it the Oprah Winfrey Network. He said he feels bad about people who get into business with her. She won't be helping them out with the network and she won't even appear on that network. He said that Oprah is going to own a TV network and she'll put zero energy into it. She puts all of her energy into that TV show of her's and that's it.

Howard asked Gilbert if he's into this Britney Spears and all of the wacky stuff she's been doing lately. He said that she just recently walked out of a store completely naked. Gilbert said that a few years ago she was unobtainable, now she's so nuts that he thinks that he could possibly get her. Artie said that they're not seeing an abnormal person, they're seeing a normal hillbilly.

Howard played some more clips from Jackie's show from last night where he was talking about Gary's braces. He took some phone calls and let some fans goof on him. Jackie was loving it and cracking himself up talking about Gary's braces and teeth.

Jackie told some stories about the stink that used to come out of Gary's mouth. He said that they used to comment on it when he'd leave the room and no one would address it until it somehow came out on the air.

Howard said that Jackie just goes and goes on and on about Gary's mouth. Howard said that Jackie is on fire about this whole thing, it's like he's got a whole new life to him. He said it's wild what this has brought on.

Voice Mail And Phone Calls. 01/16/08. 9:35am
Howard took a call from John Boy who asked if Fred could tape himself fucking his wife doing his Jim Florentine impression the whole time so they'd know what it sounds like when Robin and Jim are doing it. Howard said that Fred had some audio of Robin and Jim and had him play that. It was just a porn clip of a woman squealing with pleasure. Gilbert was laughing at that the whole time he was playing it. Fred also threw in some of the Amy Fisher porn tape.

Howard said that Hate Man called in about Robin and Jim Florentine dating. He played the clip of him talking about how he'd like to be the one who's fucking Robin, not Jim. Then he yells out the N-word and gorilla and monkey over and over again. Gilbert said the N-word stuff turned him on.

Howard said that Hate Man also bad mouthed him about the way his neck looked on Letterman. He said that he looks like a prehistoric ostrich chicken fucker. He repeated the chicken fucker thing over and over and made some gobble, gobble sounds before ending that message.

Howard said that he noticed the neck thing on that show too. Robin said she had never noticed it before seeing it on Letterman either. She wondered where it came from.

Howard asked Gilbert if he thinks that he's aged well. Gilbert just laughed. That led to the guys asking Gilbert how old he is. He's a year younger than Howard who just turned 54. Gilbert

Ralph called in and told Howard how bad he looked on Letterman and how he really doesn't look like that in real life. He said the HDTV stuff intensifies the stuff you don't even really see in real life.

Howard took a call from Jackie's co-host Ian who said that it was a very fun show last night. He said that they got a call from a guy who had a very funny joke about harvesting ivory being illegal. Howard wrapped up with him a short time later and got in some plugs for the Intern Show. They're going to be going over Gary's braces as well.

Howard said he had an audio clip of Robin tag teaming Bob Levy and Jim Florentine. He played that and it was a woman taking on two men in a porn movie and asking them to stick their dicks in her holes and to taste their juices. Artie and Gilbert found that very funny.

Howard played a voice mail from Crazy Alice where she was going off on Robin about dating Jim Florentine. She said that she's just another phony who talks about her on the show. She said that Robin has the same phone as she does and she doesn't even want that anymore. Howard gave Gilbert a few more plugs and then went to break .

Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/16/08. 9:50am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made with some audio clips of a guy using the N-word. We also heard a Riley Martin song parody. Fred also played some of Gilbert singing ''Tickling Robin's Clitoris'' as they were coming back. Howard said that Gilbert really loves her as he was listening to that song. He wondered how many takes that took to get that song down. Gilbert said it was very tough.

Howard gave Gilbert a plug for his Caroline's show and Gilbert threw in a plug for his DVD and his web site GilbertGottfried.com.

Steve Langford came in with his Howard 100 News preview. He said that they have a story about Robin's Christmas gift and how upset Ryan's mother was when she found out about the story. They also have a story about the case Howard's cousin had against Paramount. They've settled the case. Howard said he'd love to know what he got out of them.

Steve said that TMZ.com has a picture of Artie out in Vegas with his tongue hanging out. They showed the picture to Artie and he said that's at a club called Liquidity, in the Luxor, and they have hot chicks like that walking around in front of you all the time.

Mariann from Brooklyn called in and asked Howard why he keeps putting himself down because he doesn't look like he did on Letterman. Howard said that he does look like that and people just don't see it. Mariann told him he looked fantastic in person. She was also asking Robin when her next date with Jim is going to be. Robin wasn't talking. Howard said he knows for a fact she has one this weekend but then he said he wasn't so sure about that.

Howard went to Jon Hein and asked what they had coming up. Jon said they'd talk about the David Spade and Jillian Grace news they talked about early this morning. They'll also talk about Don King, Artie's Conan Dilemma, Jason, Scott and Will's fight and much, much more.

Howard said he doesn't think that Gilbert spends any time with his daughter and he just doesn't help out at all. Gilbert said he didn't even know that the baby had to be fed.

Mark Burnett Sends Howard A New Microwave? 01/16/08. 10:00am
Gilbert asked to see what this Jillian Grace chick looked like. The guys showed a picture to him and he let out a subdued ''wow.'' Howard asked the guys to show him some other naked girls because he knows Gilbert loves that. Gilbert said he really doesn't love that.

Howard and Robin asked Gilbert how old he was when he got a girl for the first time. Gilbert said he wasn't sure. He said he's heard that kids are losing their virginity at 11 and 12 these days. Gary came in with a picture of a naked Jillian a short time later. Gilbert said he could see why Spade did her without a condom. The guys hadn't seen all of those pictures. Artie said that those were real breasts too and they were extraordinary. The guys kept bringing in more and more pictures of her and Artie said that he was mad for some reason. He wasn't even sure why.

Artie said that he wants to go back to being a longshoreman, it wasn't worth it. He said he wanted to take those pictures home and face fuck them.

Howard said he got a letter from the producer of Mark Burnett who wanted him to know about the dangers of microwave cooking. He read that the microwaves don't heat up food enough to kill salmonella. Burnett has some kind of new technology that he's investing in and that's why he was sending him the note. Gilbert said that this one probably causes brain cancer or something.

Howard said that he's getting an oven in the mail. Gary told him that they got it already and it's sitting it Laura's office. This oven cooks at a higher temperature than a regular one does. It's the same size as a microwave though. Howard said he didn't know what it was all about and this is from a guy who makes people eat cockroaches on TV so he's not sure what the deal is.

A caller told Howard that he hasn't been eating out of a microwave for a long time now. He's afraid of the leakage. Howard said he doesn't cook food in there, he just reheats it. Robin said she doesn't even eat meat anymore so she doesn't worry about that. She said that most of her food is raw. Howard said she sure likes to brag about her new diet.

Robin's News. 01/16/08. 10:10am
Howard had Robin start her news after Fred played one of her news themes. She started out with a story about Ellen Degeneres and that led to Howard asking Gilbert if he's got any show business friends who call him. Gilbert said that he never really gets calls from anyone, although he used to get a call from one celebrity. That was Richard Jeni, who committed suicide. The guys goofed on him about not having any friends. Gilbert said he once got Michael J. Fox's phone number. He said that he told him to give him a call so he did that but then it was like one of those calls when you hear ''Oh, yeah, hi...'' on the other end. He said it was like he didn't expect him to really call.

Robin got back to the Ellen story and said that a study was done and they found that Ellen was more popular than Oprah. Howard said that was ridiculous because Oprah gets bigger ratings. He said that's what shows popularity. They were talking about some other people on that popularity list like Ray Romano and Homer Simpson. Howard did a little bit of his impression of Ray Romano which sounds a little bit like Kermit the Frog.

Howard said that Gilbert is good at impressions but then Artie told a story about Gilbert doing a gig where most of the people were like 22 year old kids and he was doing impressions of Humphrey Bogart for them, like they'd know who he was. They said that Gilbert still does material about Planet of the Apes too.

Artie said that he saw Gilbert at Caroline's in 1987. He saw him again 7 years later and he did the same act, verbatim. He did some of the material that he used to do and Howard told him that he really has to work on some new material.

Robin said there was a story about Jackie renewing his contract with SIRIUS to continue his show there. Artie and Gilbert did some impressions of him and goofed on him a little bit.

Howard played some clips of Tom Cruise talking about being a Scientologist. He was talking about what a privilege it is and how he knows that he can help people. In another clip Tom was talking about going on vacation and going out to romp and play but he can't because he knows... He didn't say what he knows, he just knows. Howard said that L. Ron Hubbard probably never thought that he'd have someone this whacked out pushing his religion.

In another clip Tom starts laughing like a mental patient as he's talking about ''SPs'' (Suppressive Personalities) and throwing out some other terms that they use. Howard said he had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. JD said that he should play another clip because he talks about some other wacky stuff. Howard played that clip where Tom is talking about how they can unite cultures, bring peace and rehabilitate prisoners. Howard told him to go and do it then. Tom talks about going around the world and talking to various leaders of countries and how they want help.

Robin said she heard that Tom was doing karate chopping and stuff like that during those clips. Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wasn't a full Scientologist yet because she doesn't have the money for that. Howard said he finds it amusing that Tom thinks he's some kind of savior. He said that all of these religions are completely nuts. He talked about how crazy Tom comes off talking about how he thinks he can bring peace and cure people. The woman said that she thinks that they should give him a chance and maybe read the book. No one in the studio was going to do that though. Howard let her go and had Robin get back to her news.

Robin read a story about Senator Larry Craig and the trouble he got into when he was arrested for allegedly soliciting gay sex in an airport bathroom. The ACLU has jumped on his side and they're trying to help his defense. That had Artie and Gilbert cracking up while Fred was playing some oral sex sound clips.

Robin brought up a story about a study that was done about clowns and how kids don't actually like them. Howard said that's not news, that's known already. Of course kids hate clowns. Gilbert said that not one person has ever laughed at a clown, it just doesn't happen.

Robin read a story about a study being done on dog barks so they can be better understood. She also had a story about actor Brad Renfro being found dead. Gilbert joked that he had just given him his number and he was supposed to call him tonight. He was also saying that Artie was asked for some advice on what to do for the funeral. He did his impression of Artie and goofed on him a little bit. Then Artie said that he was out in the green room talking to Gilbert and Gilbert ended up laughing at him after he got out like 2 words.

Gilbert went into his George Jessel impression which sounds a bit like the Artie impression. Robin tried to get back into her news but Gilbert was talking over her doing his impression. He had Artie laughing his ass off. Howard said that people probably forget just how funny that guy looked too.

Robin read through some more news stories. She had one about cloning and that led to the guys talking about cloning beef. Howard said they want to do that because people like beef and they need more o

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