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HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-28-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 128K MP3 CF torrent

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Movie Reviews And More. 01/28/08. 6:00am
Ass Juice Porn Clip. 01/28/08. 6:05am
Howard Worried About Artie's Trip To Amsterdam. 01/28/08. 6:10am
Various Audio Clips, Voice Mails And More. 01/28/08. 6:15am
Howard Visits A Chess Club. 01/28/08. 6:25am
SAG Award Red Carpet Coverage. 01/28/08. 6:35am
Phone Calls And Various Discussions. 01/28/08. 6:45am
FCC And Merger Discussions. 01/28/08. 6:55am
Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview And Howard's Family Stories. 01/28/08. 7:15am
Celebrity Tipping, New Prank Calls And More. 01/28/08. 7:40am
Football Discussions. 01/28/08. 7:45am
Will The Farter And Kissy Kapri Visit. 01/28/08. 8:05am
New England Patriots Junior Seau Calls In. 01/28/08. 9:05am
Eric The Midget Calmer Actor Calls In. 01/28/08. 9:30am
Wacky Phone Call And Heath Ledger Discussions. 01/28/08. 9:40am
Gary Asks Howard For Opinion On Primary Election. 01/28/08. 10:00am
Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/28/08. 10:05am
Robin's News. 01/28/08. 10:10am
Wrap Up Show - Jeff The Drunk Calls In. 01/28/08. 10:50am
Wrap Up Show - Junior Seau Discussions. 01/28/08. 11:00am
Wrap Up Show - More Jeff The Drunk. 01/28/08. 11:15am
Wrap Up Show - Will The Farter And Kissy Kapri. 01/28/08. 11:30am
Wrap Up Show - Gary's Voting, Phone Calls And More. 01/28/08. 11:40am
Howard 100 News

Monday, January 28, 2008

Movie Reviews And More. 01/28/08. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A belching song, Roger Alan Wade performing ''She's Gone Back To Whoring,'' Evil Dave Letterman reading a top 10 list of nonsense, Shaw Blades performing live in Howard's studio.

Howard started off the show talking about how Artie was compliments him on his outfit this morning but he had to take his jacket off because it was so hot in the studio this morning. He said that it's supposed to be an ensemble but he can't keep the jacket on. Artie said that it was a cool outfit and asked him where it came from. Howard said it's a Belstaf and he figured that Robin would know that brand.

Howard said he likes one of the leather jackets that Fred wears and he figured it was a Harley jacket. Fred said that's probably what it was but the other one he thought Howard liked was a Gap leather jacket.

Robin brought up the Rambo movie that Howard was talking about so positively last week and said that she didn't like it. She said that he looked like ''Granbo'' and looked odd playing that character. A caller told Howard that he liked it and disagreed with Robin about it. He said that the action scenes in the movie were amazing. He said he liked that and he went to see ''Cloverfield'' and loved that one too.

Howard said he went to see ''No Country for Old Men'' and loved that too. He said he's not sure how these movies get lost the way they do when they're so cool. Howard said that it was about a crazy murderer and it was really good. Artie said that he was the one who recommended it to Howard and he really liked it too.

The caller on the line told Howard that he likes it better when they don't have guests on the show and they just talk and have a good time. He asked Fred about a moment on the History of Howard Stern when they played a song for Howard. Fred said he was asking the wrong guy but the caller said some of the lyrics and Robin knew that it was ''Pusher Man'' by Curtis Mayfield. Fred dug up the song from their library and played it for the guy.

Howard was wondering why the callers on his show always talk over them there while on other radio shows don't talk over the hosts. He said he's had that problem for a long time now, even back in the K-Rock days.

Ass Juice Porn Clip. 01/28/08. 6:05am
Howard said he had a new porn clip to play that's his favorite now. He played it and it was a couple of chicks shitting and eating it. He called it ''Ass Juice'' and said that porn has just gone too far these days. He said he hadn't seen it himself so he's not sure what exactly is going on in the clip. He joked that if someone asked him what kind of porn he was into, he'd just say ''ass juice.''

Howard talked about the old porn stores that used to exist before the internet. He said he never went to one himself but he can't imagine going into one and shop for porn. Artie said that he and his friends used to go into the city to 42nd street and there was actually a guy out on the street who was like a carnival barker yelling out ''Pussy, pussy, pussy!'' as he was trying to get people into the store.

Howard talked about how Rudy Giuliani was the guy who cleaned up 42nd street when he was in office. He talked about how much of a mess it used to be in the past.

Howard Worried About Artie's Trip To Amsterdam. 01/28/08. 6:10am
Howard said that he's really worried about Artie because he heard him talking about going to Amsterdam for Jason's bachelor party. Artie assured Howard and Robin that he's not going to do heroin like he claimed he was going to do over there. He said he's pretty sure that he can avoid it now.

Howard said that Gary was telling Artie that he's going to see everything in the window in the red light district over there, including a 70 year old hooker. Howard said he can't imagine why anyone would want anyone that old. Artie said that he is looking into getting some whores when he's over there. Howard said he could never go to one, he's too bummed out by it.

Howard said he could never have intercourse with a hooker because he knows that she's been with other guys. He said that he'd be thinking about how they're not really into him and how it was all a lie. Artie said that it doesn't matter for him, if the chick is hot he doesn't care. He said that there have been some girls in the past who have been really cool with him. He told them about one of the whores he had out in Vegas and how cool she was to him.

Howard said that some guys do end up marring their hooker and it is a way to meet someone. He said that you'd have to worry about them when they say they're going out for the evening though. Artie said that he knew a guy who dated a whore and the guy didn't care that she was hooking. He said that she was like 20 years old and very cute and she'd go out and work for a weekend and come back and tell him stories about the famous guys she'd fuck.

Various Audio Clips, Voice Mails And More. 01/28/08. 6:15am
Howard said he had to play a clip from the Wrap Up Show where Sal was talking about women and what they want but then says the opposite of what he just said. He played the clip and Sal was talking about how women don't know what they want when they have sex. He said that women don't care about how you do them when they're in the heat of the moment as long as they know they're secure. Then he said that ''if you do it right'' they'll be fine. The rest of the guys on the show tried pointing that out to him but he keeps talking in circles.

Howard said that whole thing had no point and it's just bizarre for him to say the things he was saying. Artie said that he thinks that Sal was just trying to be funny and maybe it wasn't working for him.

Howard said that Richard tried this thing with some clips of David Lee Roth singing ''Running with the Devil'' in the original recording sessions. He played the clip where Roth is singing and it wasn't all that bad. Richard took those clips and put the lyrics to the music of ''I Love Rock And Roll.'' Howard played that and it was kind of close to that tune and kind of fit in there, but not quite.

Robin said that it's kind of funny when they have someone singing alone in a room during a recording session. That led to Howard playing one of the clips where Robin was singing a song for Stuttering John's album in an isolated room.

Howard said that Wendy the Retard is still asking for an xBox 360. He said that she keeps leaving messages about this even though she promised to not ask for anything for a while. She was complaining about her friends making fun of her for not having the 360. She accused them of using her and sounded very bummed out about the whole thing. Howard said that he thought that she was using him by calling in and asking for stuff all the time.

In another voice mail a caller told the guys about something that was ripped off from the show. He said that it was something about the Miss America contestants being followed around in a reality show and that's something that Howard suggested on the show many years ago. Howard said that happens a lot to him.

Howard said that he had a weird blooper thing from a show where a guy wishes a coach ''good sex'' instead of good success or something like that. He wasn't able to get out of it either. The guy said ''continued good sex... good sex in the Big East...''

Artie mentioned that there was a picture of Lindsay Lohan in the paper today and she looks angelic. Robin told him that he should be out trying to get her instead of being there.

Howard Visits A Chess Club. 01/28/08. 6:25am
Howard said that he went out to dinner with his friend Pat and his wife Deb. He said that he had a nice time with them. Artie joked that he was there too, with Robin, but not Fred. Howard said they went to this place called Ecco and it was really good. Pat bought him a chess clock as a gift.

Howard said he went out to a chess club yesterday and that was the first time he's ever gone to one. He said that for him to go anywhere, it's like a lunar landing. He's very nervous about going out anywhere because of the tremendous fears that he has about everything. He said that once he goes out he ends up having a great time. He said his daughter actually went with him and walked him there because she knew that he was afraid to go on his own.

Howard said that there was this little 7 year old playing against an old guy and it was very weird. He said he played a couple of games with the president of the club and the guy kicked his ass. He said that it's like being a beginner again playing live against someone. Robin said that's what she was afraid of with him. She said that he has to play live against people to be able to go out and play that well.

Artie and Robin think that Howard could have a good time going out to one of those clubs every week. Howard said that he's not sure about that. Artie went on to say that he'd love to be able to do something like that himself. Robin said that she used to go out and meet a friend to play racquetball every week and she loved it.

Howard said that he had this guy Anthony over to help him out with some new suits. Ralph came over and was hanging around and he ended up breaking one of his awards that he had on his desk when he knocked it off. He said that Ralph ended up blaming the set up of the desk in the room. He said that it sat there for 2 years before that but Ralph comes in and breaks it.

Howard said that he was going out to a place called Ariel with Beth last week and when Ronnie asked him where he was going, he told him it was called ''Areola'' just to goof on him and see how many people he'd tell. He said that he did tell his driver what it was called and the driver thought that was pretty funny.

Howard asked Artie what he did over the weekend. He said he actually saw Ronnie out at one of his comedy shows on Thursday night. He saw him and Toni Coburn (Howard's hair stylist) out at one of those shows too.

SAG Award Red Carpet Coverage. 01/28/08. 6:35am
Howard said that he and Beth were watching these SAG awards over the weekend and he and Beth are obsessed with Lisa Rinna. He said that her upper lip is so big now that it's distracting. He said that he's not sure what that's about and he's not sure if she's high or something but she seems kind of dopey when she's doing interviews on the red carpet. He said that she was doing interviews at the SAG awards and if it were him, he'd be asking some interesting questions of these people that come down the line. He said she was interviewing this chick from the movie ''Juno'' and she didn't ask her anything interesting. He said he'd be curious about the way she dresses and things like that but Lisa doesn't have any questions like that.

Howard played a clip from the red carpet coverage where Joey Fattone was asking a woman some questions and they weren't that bad. Then he played a clip of Lisa talking to Casey Affleck and having pretty much nothing to say. She wouldn't let Casey talk and kept asking him questions about herself. When she did ask an interesting question, Casey told her that it was one of the questions that she wasn't supposed to ask. Then she asked him about the kind of gum he was chewing. Howard said that was one of the better interviews she did.

Robin said she flew out to Los Angeles and was on the plane with Wanda Sykes and John Hurley and she thinks that he has a young wife and a little baby. She said that was very odd to see a guy with white hair walking down the aisle with a baby like that. Howard said that's exactly what he's trying to avoid. He has no desire to be in that position. Robin said that he was rolling with his nanny, wife and the baby. She said that she had no idea he had that kind of money. Robin said that Wanda Sykes is a big fan of the show and they should have her on.

Howard said that at the SAG Awards they didn't bother showing Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie sitting in the audience. He said that if they show up they should be part of the show. That led to Howard playing an old interview that Stuttering John did with Brad Pitt many years ago when he was still a normal guy. Brad knew who John was and had a nice interview with him. He answered the questions and had some fun with them. John threw out some questions like ''Are homosexuals Hollywood's next villains?'' and things like that. Brad was dating Juliette Lewis at the time so she was there with Brad and spent some time talking to John as well.

Artie said that if you told him back then that one of those guys was going to be a huge movie star and the other one was an announcer on the Tonight Show, he would have figured that John went on to be a movie star. He said that he never thought that Brad Pitt would be so huge.

Phone Calls And Various Discussions. 01/28/08. 6:45am
Howard took a call from this guy Lee who gave himself a huge introduction and said that he's not a stalker (like he claimed the last time he called). Howard hung right up on him saying that he didn't want to deal with that. Artie said that they made him interesting one time and that was a mistake.

Artie said that he got called to do Letterman this Tuesday and Paris Hilton is going to be the first guest on the show. He said that he's going to ask Dave if he has to fill a minimum weight or something. He said that the show is going to be taped on Tuesday but won't air until Friday. He said that if he thinks that it was a bad appearance, those three days are going to be torture. Artie said that he's got to do the pre-interview thing at Letterman so he has to go through the torture of that. Howard gets to skip that whole thing when he does the show.

Howard said he had to give a shout out to this new reality show that Dee Snider is in. They take 7 singers from different genre's of music and they all sing country songs. Howard said he wasn't even sure of the name of the show but it was pretty interesting. He said it might be something like ''Make Me Country'' or something like that. Fred found out that it was actually ''Gone Country.''

Robin said that this guy Larry the Cable Guy has a third movie coming out soon and it looked more horrible than the last. She said that people just keep going to see the movies. Artie said that guy used to do comedy as a regular guy and then he became this character and he'd love to hear the real guy being interviewed about the past. He said that it was fascinating to him that he became that dumb guy and now he's making millions because of it.

Howard said that's why he says that people who have a character like that should just stick to it and do that all the time. He sued John Heder as an example. He said that he should have stuck to the Napoleon Dynamite character and do that character and nothing else. He said that every other movie he's in not doing that character sucks.

Richard came in and said that he's fascinated by that Larry the Cable Guy because he's gotten so famous. He said that there's something about him that draws him to him. He said that he laughs at his movies but he's laughing at how bad they are. Howard played a prank call the guys made using clips from Napoleon Dynamite.

FCC And Merger Discussions. 01/28/08. 6:55am
Howard brought up a story about how the FCC is thinking of fining a bunch of ABC affiliates for airing an episode of NYPD Blue, way back in 2003, where they showed a woman's bare buttocks. The guys talked about how crazy that is and how they're only going to fine some of the stations that aired it because of the time of night they showed it. Howard said that it's just a buttocks and it's not going to hurt anyone by showing someone's ass.

Howard said that this XM/SIRIUS merger is still being held up by the government and no one is sure why. He said that Jesse Jackson demanded a meeting about the merger and now he and some other black groups have come out to oppose the merger. They're rejecting the merger but not because of the monopoly thing, they think that there's not a diversity of media ownership and things like that. Howard said that they ignore the fact that they do have a lot of black programming on the service.

He said that he's pretty sure that there is something fishy going on there and he thinks that it's lobbyists working behind the scenes and getting people to complain about the merger. He said there are more important things for black women to worry about in this country than this merger.

Howard said he had some clips of this guy Jim Cramer from Mad Money talking about what's going on with the merger and how ridiculous it is that they're holding up the merger this long. In one clip Jim was talking about how the government didn't have any hearings over the Exxon/Mobil merger or the Chevron/Texaco mergers. He said that if they really cared about the people of this country, they would have had some hearings on that stuff.

Howard said that he agreed with this guy Jim and his thoughts on this stuff. In the clip Jim is talking about how he thinks that SIRIUS is worth owning even if the merger doesn't go through. Howard said that he goes into a whole stock rap after that.

Howard said that he used to go around thinking that the government was above all of this stuff but now he sees that they may be bought and paid for. He said that the deal has to go through because there's no way that they can think that this is a monopoly. He said that it's all about who is going to pay the government.

Howard said that this guy Cramer goes on for a few minutes talking about this stuff. He said he wasn't sure how much more they could listen to. Artie asked if this guy Cramer can buy a bunch of stock and then go out and go on this rant that he goes on. Howard said that he thinks that he'd have to but he's not sure about that.

Howard played more of the clip where Jim is talking about how this merger would not be a monopoly, but Exxon/Mobil is. He went on talking about other mergers that were allowed in very short periods of time but they won't let this merger go through. He said he thinks that it would be hard for the feds to turn this merger down.

Howard and the guys spent a short time talking about how they're not even making money with these two services so there's no way that they're a monopoly. Howard had to go to break a short time later.

Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview And Howard's Family Stories. 01/28/08. 7:15am
After the break we heard a clip from a telethon where the host was complaining about all of the prank calls they were getting. Howard came back a short time later and had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. He said that she hadn't been in there in so long that he'd forgotten her last name. Lisa came in and said that they have a story about Artie's upcoming book. They have an interview with the guy who is helping him write the book and Artie has canceled on him twice already. Artie said that it's easier for him to just write it by himself instead of working with this guy. He said he's been writing on planes and stuff. Artie said that this guy took a crack at a couple of stories and they were well written but he still finds it easier to write it himself.

Lisa said that the guy has told them that there will be some new stories that are really wild that will be in this book. Howard told Artie to write the book with one fake story and have the fans try to pick it out, kind of like the Mike Walker game.

Lisa said that they've spoken to Jillian Barberie about her call to the show last week. Jillian also talked to them about how she called David Spade and talked to him about Jillian Grace's baby and she claims that David is cool with it.

Howard asked Artie what's so secretive that he'll have in his book. Artie said that he does have a couple of secrets that he hasn't told on the show yet. He said that some of the people who are involved in the stories didn't want it on the air but they're okay with him putting the stories in his book. The guys asked if Dana is going to be in the book. Artie said that if she's lucky she will be.

Howard said that he left his sister out of his book and wondered if Artie is going to do that. Howard said he never remembered his sister being in the house and he just left her out. He said that his psychiatrist tells him that this is a problem that he doesn't remember his sister being in the house when he was growing up even though she had to have been there. He said that they get along great so he's not sure why he'd forget about her.

Lisa said that Howard's sister told her one time that Howard has a very big imagination. That led to Howard saying that he thinks he saw her breasts one time. He also talked about her friends and how he was attracted to this one girl. He also said that his sister ended up ignoring him out on the beach one day when she brought him there.

Howard said his sister went to this all girl's school for college and he went to visit and they'd eat at the places on campus because the food was so good. He said that his sister would want to go out but his father would want to stay and eat there. He talked about his father yelling at him for eating pancakes and bread together and complaining that they were both cakes so he can't have them both in the same meal. Howard said that was in front of the hot girls there and it wasn't cool.

Howard said that he always listened to his mother and what she told him to do. He said that she's changed a lot now but back then she'd be really ''Jewy'' and wanted his sister to go out with a Jewish guy. He said that she didn't like Jewish guys though so she would never date them. He said she'd sneak out of the house and go out and date guys who weren't Jewish. He never told on her or anything though.

Howard said that there was yelling and screaming going on about his sister dating guys who weren't Jewish. He said that his mother would cry over it and yell at her for not dating Jews. He said that she'd go nuts and cry a lot back then about that stuff. Artie said that it seems like his mother was brought up to expect disaster with everything.

Howard told another story about this ice cream scooper that they had in the house when he was a kid. He said it was the greatest ice cream spoon ever and then one day his mother turned the spoon over and saw that it was made in Germany. She freaked out and threw it in the garbage. He said that his father would go on and on about the German's and French like you wouldn't believe. Robin said they hear those rants from Howard now.

Howard said his mother would go on and on about the Germans and the Jews. Then she threw out the spoon. He said that she'd get all upset about his sister's boyfriends not being Jews. He said that his mother thought that his sister was a virgin all this time and she'd have him going into the room to spy on his sister when she'd have boys over to the house to watch TV. He said that his mother was afraid of his sister and she'd make him spy on them. Howard said that he actually wrote this story up for an episode of ''Howard Stern: The High School Years'' so that script is just sitting around.

Howard said he'd go and tell his mother about his sister making out and that was it, they didn't do anything about it. He said that his sister ended up marrying one of these guys that wasn't a Jew and his parents eventually came around and took him in no problem. He said that he doesn't get why they wanted another Jew in the family anyway.

Howard said that his sister's kids aren't confused like his mother thought they would be if she didn't marry a Jew. He said that ever since his mother took up TM meditation, she's changed her whole view on everything. He said that now all she cares about is peace and love. He said that now she goes around preaching the peace thing and hates anything violent. He said he told her about the last Giants game and she couldn't believe that he watches stuff so violent. He said that she won't let his father watch it in front of her.

Howard was doing his impression of his parents during this discussion and had the guys laughing a bunch of times. He said that he always wanted to see violent movies when he was growing up but his mother wouldn't let him see them. He said that he'd have to make up descriptions of movies to fool her into thinking that they weren't violent. He said he'd work in the name of the movie sometimes so he'd talk up Death Wish and tell his mother that the people in the movie were dead and wished that they could come back to life or something like that.

Artie said that he knew a guy who brought his 70 year old grandmother to see Star Wars one time when it was first out and in the cantina scene where Harrison Ford was talking to the loan shark guy, the grandma says ''This movie was made by a crazy person...''

Lisa G got back to her news preview. She said that she spoke to Rev. Bob Levy about his Xanax pills and how the doctor wasn't able to prescribe him more than he was getting so he put him on something new. They'll have more on Howard 100 News today about all of those stories and more.

Howard was about to let Lisa go but she mentioned that she was at a recital recently and she was so nervous playing violin in front of only 60 people. That led to Howard telling her that she should play in the studio fro them. She didn't sound very interested in doing that though.

Artie said that his driver is really into Lisa G and he told her that he could get her a date if she wanted. He said that the guy saw her walking out on the street one day last week and the guy noticed her and pointed her out to him.

Celebrity Tipping, New Prank Calls And More. 01/28/08. 7:40am
Howard said that there was a picture of him in this magazine and it makes him look really bad. He said that they say that he's a good tipper in this article but then they give a crappy comment about him in there. He read through some of the other celebrities that are in there before reading his own. He said that they said that he claims that he usually leaves a 50 percent tip when he goes out and then said that maybe he's overcompensating because people can't stand him. Howard wondered who can't stand him, he thinks that he's a gentle hippie. Artie said he loved when Jackie said that about himself being a gentle hippie.

Howard played a new prank call that Richard made to this old woman. He just keeps asking this woman how she's doing and what she's been up to and the woman keeps answering him over and over again. She sticks with the call even though he just keeps asking her how she's doing. Then, after she hangs up, Sal calls her and asks the woman how his brother is doing. She doesn't know so he keeps asking her how she's doing and how his brother is doing. She said he sounded like he was okay but didn't know why he was asking her about him.

Football Discussions. 01/28/08. 7:45am
Howard said he had to go to break but brought up how they were going to have this guy Junior Seau from the New England Patriots calling in later this morning. That led to the guys talking football for a short time. Howard said he thinks that the Patriots are going to win and it's going to be a blow out. He said that he's a Giants fan but he thinks that the Patriots are going to blow them away. He said he thinks that the score will be 36-7. He said he has a feeling about that and the Patriots are a great team and they're going to go all out to blow out the Giants.

The guys spent some time talking about the odds on the game and what people are thinking at this point. Will came in with some stats and gave the guys a rundown of that stuff. Artie said that he thinks there is some magic there with the Giants and they may be able to pull it out this time.

Howard said that he doesn't want to bet on this game either. He doesn't get the joy out of it that Artie does. Artie said that he looks at it like getting free money but Howard said he doesn't see it that way at all. He has no desire to lose money on a game like that.

Ralph called in and said that he thinks that it will be a blow out game. He said Howard is right about that. Fred said that he's not going to go with Ralph on this because he was wrong the last time. He said he thinks that the Giants are going to take it this time. He gave his thoughts on the game and what he thinks will happen this Sunday.

The guys talked about some of the crazy names of the guys in the NFL and that led to Artie talking about the jokes he used to tell about Anfrony Hardaway. Howard said that Beth told him a story about a little black girl standing at a make-up counter saying ''That's my name, that's my name, that's my name...'' and then she heard the little girl's mother call her and her name was Clinique. Robin thought that was made up but Howard swore that Beth saw it happen.

Howard mentioned that Will the Farter is there and he's there with a porn star by the name of Kissy Kapri. He made a porn movie and it's pretty disturbing. He wears his clothes the whole time and just goes in and starts farting on this chick who is rubbing herself. Gary said that Will actually does do a sex scene and he had some clips to play. He said that he'd play them after the break and went to commercial.

Will The Farter And Kissy Kapri Visit. 01/28/08. 8:05am
After the break Howard came right back and talked about how he really doesn't miss the old terrestrial radio show. He said he likes to look forward and not look back. He then had Will the Farter come in with Kissy Kapri. Howard said that she's a good looking broad too.

Howard said that he was surprised at the level of girls they had in the movie ''Lost in Porn Valley.'' He said that she's the first girl you see in the movie and he was surprised that she was so good looking. Howard asked if this is the girl he has sex with in the movie. Will said that she is but he had some problems getting it up for her because he was so nervous.

Howard heard that Will had a small penis too. Kissy confirmed that and said that he's not the biggest she's seen. Will said that there was nothing but horse cocks down there when he was there. He had no chance against the other porn guys.

Howard said that the premise of this movie is that he goes out to Hollywood and meets Kissy. He tells her that he wants to make porn but ends up farting on her. Howard said that was funny but he didn't know that he ends up having sex with someone later in the movie. Will said that he does have a girlfriend and she wasn't too happy about this whole thing.

Howard asked Will if she yelled at him. He said that she did yell at him for about a month and a half but he bought her a bunch of stuff and that helped. Will used to do some other weird porn movies where he's jerk off and stuff and gay guys would buy the movies. Will said that it kind of just happened back in August.

Howard read some notes about Will going out to do this movie and he only got $1000 out of the deal. Will said that he'd like to get more money but he's not sure if he can get anything else. Kissy said that she got $1000 too. Howard told her that she should be getting a lot more than that for doing these movies. Robin said that was just for that scene.

Will said that he had a choice of 6 or 7 girls and he picked Kissy. She's only 19 years old and turning 20 in about 5 days. She said she's made over 100 films already.

Howard read some notes about Kissy and saw that she did an 11 guy gang bang and they were all black guys. She got paid $2500 to do that. She said that they were all pretty big too. She had done anal before that but she got tired after about 5 or 6 hours of doing it. She said that she's only about 100-105 pounds and it was tough to take. Howard said her price really should go up based on that. He said that she should be in a Jenna Jameson category.

Kissy said that she takes an imodium to keep herself from having accidents back there when she's having anal. She said that sometimes she'll have some enema water come out when she's having anal but never doody. Howard read that she did a bukakke thing with 100 guys one time. Howard asked her what happens when 100 guys cum on her face. She said that they'd cum in her mouth, then she'd spit it into a bowl and then drank it. Artie asked her what went wrong with her. He said that this is just not right. He asked her if she had a bad childhood or something. She said that her mother has a disease and her father is in the Navy. Robin asked her what was so great about her childhood if that's what she's got going on. Kissy lost her virginity at 13 and said she never graduated high school.

Howard asked Will about having sex with this girl and if he used a condom. He said it was no condom but the girls are tested. Howard said they're tested for AIDS but not all of the STDs. Will said he was kind of nervous about it at first and his girlfriend stayed away from him for about a month.

Howard asked Kissy if she was afraid of getting a loose ass or something where she wouldn't be able to hold it in. She said that she has worried about that. She's heard stories about porn stars who have to wear diapers from it. She said that she doesn't do it that often though.

Howard found out that Kissy lost her anal virginity at 15. She also told them about the guy who took her virginity at 13 and how she lost it at McDonalds. She explained how that went down and how it was a 14 year old who took it. She said that they'd do all kinds of stuff with other girls even when she was in 4th grade.

Gary told Howard that she's really hard core and she was in the movie that those ''ass juice'' clips came from that they played earlier. He said that movie was called ''Cum Fuck Cocktails.'' She's even on the cover of that movie.

Kissy told Howard about the story of that movie where she drank the guy's cum. She said that it was supposed to be a way for her to get back into heaven after she'd committed suicide. She also told the guys about how she tried working as an escort for a while and she had an 85 year old guy try to fuck her in the ass with his limp dick. She said that it was just a job and she had no desire to do it. She said that he told her that he had never done a girl in the ass but he wanted to do it before he died. He stuck it in after 25 or 30 minutes but nothing happened. She said that it wasn't that gross compared to some other guys that she's done. She said that there were some pretty gross guys out there, even grosser than Artie.

Artie asked Kissy if the old guy told her what he wanted to do before. She said that he did. Now she has a boyfriend who does pretty much nothing after leaving his pizza delivery job. She said that he tells people that he's a gardener now.

Howard got back to Will and asked him about his fiancé. Will said that they actually have a date and they're getting married on June 29th. He said he's not sure if he's going to fart at the wedding.

Howard asked will if he was able to finish with this girl in the movie. He said he was doing good for a while but when the camera was right on him he got really nervous.

Howard asked Kissy how she came up with the name. She said that she came up with it herself by looking in a baby name book. Howard told her that she should give herself a real name like ''Jennifer Smith'' or something. Artie suggested ''Jennifer Anuston.''

Kissy talked about how she had tried heroin when she was about 17 but she gave it up. Artie asked her if she wanted to go to Amsterdam with him. She kind of laughed at that. She told the guys about what happened to her one time when she had done something and ended up getting tied up in a shower.

Howard played some clips from this movie that Will did where he walks in the room where this woman is getting it on with another woman. Then he tells the girls that he has a special talent and starts farting on the woman. She tells him he's disgusting and tells him to get lost.

Howard played another clip where Will farted in front of 4 girls. Howard said that he seems to be like Brad Pitt taking this stuff so seriously this morning. Will said that he does have some regrets about doing this movie. He said that he's out of doing the porn but he's still doing the little stuff on the side where he jerks off by himself in his own room for the gay guys. He said he doesn't think that it's gay at all.

Howard said that you can buy this movie that Will and Kissy are in at Clips4Sale.com. He played the clip where Will farts in front of the four girls after that. The girls are talking about how gross it is as Will is blasting away.

Howard played another clip where Will meets a burping girl. He demonstrates his farting talent and she burps for him. Then he had a clip where Will goes into a sauna after being so distraught after not being able to find a co-host. Will said that he didn't remember doing the sauna scene and couldn't remember what happened there. Howard thought that he just hated the movie and couldn't bare to think about it. Will said he thinks it's funny and it's really not that bad.

Gary came in and said that the guy in the green room was just telling him that they were going to be doing another movie next week. Will said he decided to not do that one just a couple of days ago so he won't be doing another one.

Will said that his in-laws to be don't know anything about this and they don't even know that he's Will the Farter. He said they'll never know about this porn movie. Howard played some clips of Will banging this chick Kissy and she's slapping around her own tits. Artie said that she's got banana tits. Howard said that they are very big and Artie thought they were real.

Howard said that Kissy has both nipples pierced and she goes to choke Will in that scene. She said that she likes to be dominant. Howard said that Will just lays there and does nothing. He told him that he's got to get into it more. Artie said that it looks like some sort of snuff film or something because Will looks like he was forced into doing the scene.

Will said that he took half a Viagra to do that scene and it did nothing for him, if anything, it made it worse.

Howard took a call from a guy who said that Kissy should ride the Sybian while Will farts on her. Artie said they didn't have to do the farting part of that. Howard asked Kissy to ride the Sybian and give it a shot. He wanted the truth about how it felt. They had her strip down before she got on the Sybian. Howard said that he can't imagine her with a bunch of black guys banging her in the ass. She said that it was pretty rough.

Bong Hit Eric called in and said that Kissy looks good on the web site. Howard asked Will to let out just one fart before she rides this thing. Will blasted out a bunch of farts for the guys before they got to the Sybian ride. Bong Hit brought up something he'd seen on TV with Beth and some pets she was trying to get adopted. Gary told Howard that they were in the middle of something sexy there and didn't need to hear that. Howard let Eric go and got back to Kissy.

Howard had Gary start the Sybian and had Kissy telling them about how it felt. She didn't make much noise so Howard asked if anything was happening. She said it was but there wasn't any audio to let anyone know what was going on. Gary kept jacking the speed up and she eventually started to moan a little bit. Gary had it up to full speed and she let out a couple of moans and that was it. She was done.

Kissy said that she did finish. She claims that she can masturbate and cum like 15 times in a row. Gary asked her to ride it again and make some noise this time. She said that she could do that, no problem. Kissy got back on the machine and Gary started her out slow but turned up the speed pretty soon. This time she was moaning a little bit more. She moaned and got off within about a minute or so. Howard told her that was quite a performance. Artie said ''Somebody fuck her!'' when she hopped off the machine.

Howard said that it may not have been 11 black guys in her ass, but it was as close as they could come. He talked to Will about doing the porn stuff again and Will said that he's really not going to do it. Will Murray came in and said that he's probably doing it behind his Fiancé's back, that's why he's claiming he's not doing it. Will said that he's just not doing it.

Gary noticed something tattooed on Kissy's back. She said that it says ''God Is Rich In Mercy.'' Howard gave the guys some more plugs and started to wrap up with Will. Will was in a strange mood so the guys tried to figure out what was going on there. Will said that today just wasn't a good day. He said that he knows that he's going to get a lot of flack about this and he's afraid that his fiancé's parents are going to find out about this.

Howard took a call from a guy who asked Kissy if she's ever gotten a David Copperfield before. That's where a guy spits on a girl's back and then when she turns around, he cums on her face. SHE said she had never had that. She did have a Roman Soldier Helmet though. She said that she has done a Rusty Trombone before as well. That's where she eats a guy's ass hole and jerks him off at the same time. She said she's done that in her real life and in porn. She said that she doesn't mind doing that either.

Gary asked Kissy what's on her list of things that she won't do. She said that she won't do black guys anymore. She said that there were some bad apples there when she did the gang bang thing. She said that they did a DP (double penetration) thing with her and they weren't supposed to. She said that she won't do black guys anymore because of that.

Kissy aids that she won't do a cream pie thing anymore either. She won't let guys finish inside of her and push it out. She only lets her boyfriend cum inside of her. She said she still does the ass though. Artie was laughing hysterically while she was telling them all of this stuff. He said that the only two things that she won't do are shooting cum out of herself and doing black guys. She said that she won't kiss other guys either in the movies she does. She said that's too personal to do with anyone other than her boyfriend.

Howard said he can't imagine dealing with a woman who is getting banged by other guys. She said that sometimes he will say stuff about her going to get laid by other guys and she thinks that's kind of stupid. SHE said that he has shot one scene with her though.

Howard asked Kissy if she'd ever do a dog. She said she used to like watching bestiality films but she wouldn't do that. Howard gave her an Fuck, Marry, Kill with a Dog, a Black Guy and a Flashlight. She said that she's probably fuck the flashlight, marry the black guy and kill the dog.

Howard asked Kissy if she goes to strip clubs and works. She doesn't do that. She said that she'd like to go to school eventually and open up a dog kennel or something like that. Will said that he thinks she could do something else and do really well at it. He thinks she could be so much more than she is. Will said that he'd like to help her out and get her into something else.

Will said that he's making about 3 grand a month doing the clips he does and he wants to use that for college. Howard thought that he was like 40 years old but Will said he's only 28. Howard gave them some more plugs for KickAss.com, where you can get the movie ''Lost in Porn Valley,'' and for Clips4Sale.com, where you can download Will's clips. They went to break a short time later.

New England Patriots Junior Seau Calls In. 01/28/08. 9:05am
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a guy who was selling a bearing press thinking that it was a bench press. Fred also played a song as they were coming back and Howard thought he heard ''I need to see your boobs'' in the song but it was actually ''I gotta see you boo'' according to what he read.

Howard said that they have this guy Junior Seau from the New England Patriots on the phone. He said that he's a big deal but he's not even sure why that is because he's not that into football.

Junior said that they're out in Arizona now. Howard asked him about Tom Brady's foot and if that was all just a scam to make the Giants think that the was injured. Junior said that they blew that up into something that wasn't that big of a deal.

Howard asked Junior what being Samoan means because he has no idea. Junior said that Samoa is a small island that he'd love if he visited. Howard asked if they eat people there. Junior said he's pretty sure they stopped doing that about 4 decades ago.

Howard said the read that Junior was able to bench press 500 pounds but Junior said that was a long time ago. Howard said he's only able to lift about 95 pounds himself. Junior said he doesn't need to be able to bench more than that doing what he does for a living.

Howard said that Junior is 39 years old and still in the NFL so that's a pretty big feat right there. Junior said that it's a long journey to get there. He's never won a Super Bowl so Howard asked him if he's going to retire after this year. He wasn't sure about that. He didn't think it was going to be his last one.

Howard said that Junior retired one other time and his team got pissed at him when he came out of retirement. Junior didn't make that big of a deal out of it. Howard asked him if he's married. Junior said that he's not married. Howard asked him when he last got laid. He wasn't going to say but he said that he does have ''friends'' that he hangs out with. He said that he's just concentrating on the big game and he's not concentrating on that stuff. He said that he has gotten laid since the last game but he'll probably cut himself off by Thursday this week.

Howard asked Junior if he hangs out with Tom Brady and his model girlfriend, Giselle. Junior said that it's hard to hang out with him but he is friends with him. He said that they keep that relationship pretty secret so he doesn't hang with them that much. Howard said that Tom Brady has movie star looks and he's banging a number 1 supermodel. He'd like to know one thing that's wrong with Brady. Junior said that the only thing wrong with him is that he never stops working.

Howard said he wanted to hear that Brady's penis was tiny or something. Junior said he doesn't take a peek in the shower so he wouldn't know. Robin asked Howard why he's not calling Junior by his real name. Howard and Artie said that they thought it was his real name. Junior said that his real name is something that's hard to say so he went with Junior. His real name is Tiaina. As soon as he said that the guys were calling him Tina and goofing on him. Junior said that's why he went with the ''Junior'' name.

Howard asked Junior some questions about his coach and then Artie threw in a question and asked where they mount the cameras to steal all of the other team's plays. Howard told him to calm down with that, it sounds like he's really angry with him for no reason.

Howard said that Tom Brady may have jinxed the team by going out and saying that they're going to win this game. Junior said that he can't believe that he'd go out and do that. He refused to believe that Brady would do that to them.

Howard asked Junior if he had banged anyone famous. Junior said that he doesn't really go after famous people like that. Junior said that he was married at one time and he got divorced. That led to the guys asking him if that's why he had to go back to playing football. He said that his ex-wife was a great woman. Howard asked him if he ever banged any of the cheerleaders. He said he never did that and he leads a pretty boring life.

Howard read that President Bush had given Junior a good Samaritan award back in 2005. Junior said that they raise money for the youth of San Diego and he did get that award. He didn't make a big deal out of it though.

Howard asked Junior who he's going to vote for this next election. He said that's a secret, he doesn't want to be judged on that kind of stuff. Howard asked him if they should pull out of this war. Junior said that the best thing they can do is support the guys who are already over there. He didn't want the people thinking that they were against what they're doing this week before the Super Bowl is coming up.

Howard took some phone calls and let some fans ask some questions. One guy said that Junior is so tough. He said that he broke his arm recently and he thought for sure that he wasn't going to be able to come back but he did. Howard asked Junior if he looks at him like he's a big pussy because he would never be able to go on after a broken arm. Junior has some respect for Howard and said he doesn't look at him like that at all.

Another caller told Junior that he thinks that Eli Manning is going to choke in this game and they're going to lose. Junior said that Eli is good and they have their hands full with this upcoming game. Howard took a couple more calls and let some people make some comments about this upcoming game. One caller talked about Junior's club that he owns and how he's got a lot of hot chicks there. One guy said that he used to be a fan of Juniors until he moved to the Patriots. He said that him leaving the Chargers was like Babe Ruth leaving the Yankees. Junior said that he will never leave San Diego, they're always in his heart. He said that he's employed by the Patriots right now and they'll see what happens when this season is over. Howard let Junior go a short time later.

Eric The Midget Calmer Actor Calls In. 01/28/08. 9:30am
Howard took a call from Eric the Midget. Eric said that he was about to give up because he had been on hold since the beginning of the show. He said that he wanted to talk about some of the comments hat Howard made about him. He was also upset about the Superfan Roundtable and some of the comments that they made about him. He said that Johnny does not have Kendra on his payroll to pay attention to him. He said that she's just working on his TV show and that's it.

Howard said that people are just shocked that he's got a girl as beautiful as Kendra who is into him. He said that people get jealous, he knows that because he gets the same thing with Beth. Howard said that Eric has to be suspect because this girl hasn't even been in the same room with him yet.

Eric said that he can't get into too much detail but he and Johnny are working on a chance of him meeting her around Valentine's day. He said that it's all a timing issue and she's got a schedule to work around and he has to work around that as well.

Howard asked where Kendra is going to be staying and if they're going to be staying in the same room. Eric is sure he won't be in the same room but they'll probably be near each other. Howard said that if Eric calls him after that meeting and tells him that they were intimate and had some romantic talk or something, then he'll believe that she's into him.

Robin didn't understand why Eric is saying that she's his girlfriend when they haven't even met yet. Howard said that he kind of gets this, the two of them are talking and have an understanding. Eric told Howard that he likes the way he's handling this today.

Howard told Eric that if he does meet this girl and she doesn't do anything with him, he'd have to say that she's not into him. Eric agreed with that. He said that there should be some kind of kissing and holding hands when they meet. Eric said that she does blow him kisses on cam and stuff like that. Howard said that's why people are suspicious of this relationship.

Howard said that he got the same thing with Beth but she eventually put out for him. He said that if Kendra meets him and vomits, he'll understand that she's not into him. He talked about what Kendra could do to prove that she really likes Eric.

Eric said that he knows that Kendra is going to have down time and he knows that he'll be sitting next to her and taking to her when she's working at this job she has. Howard asked Eric what she calls him when she's talking to him and started to play the edited, pre-recorded clips of Eric calling himself ''Eric the...''

the fag
ignorant asshole
shitty penis

They had some fun with those clips and goofed on Eric for a short time. Eric seemed to be taking it a little better this morning than he usually does. Howard told Eric that they're just waiting to see if this Kendra is the real deal or not and that's why everyone is discussing it. Howard said that if Eric doesn't meet by Valentine's day it will be obvious that this relationship is a fake.

Robin asked if Eric is getting more and more frustrated not meeting this girl. Eric said he's not. He seems to be fine with waiting for her. Howard let Eric go a short time later and Eric said a very pleasant ''talk to you later'' as he was saying goodbye to Howard.

Wacky Phone Call And Heath Ledger Discussions. 01/28/08. 9:40am
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's been having some legal problems. He says he was accused of having some child pornography. He said he knew a guy, his room mate, who was beating his kids really bad and he threatened to call the CPA. Then two days later he had the cops come to him saying that he was accused of touching this guy's 7 year old daughter.

The guy said that they didn't find any child porn on his computer but he's still looking at serving 4 years for child porn. He said that the 7 year old kid accused him of touching her inappropriately but that story fell apart and he got out of that but he's still facing the 4 years in prison. Howard had to cut him off and told him that he doesn't need too many details.

The guy was looking for Dominic Barbara's phone number so he could talk to him about the charges. The guy thinks that he's being framed or something. Howard told him he'd put him on hold so he could get Dominic's phone number.

Artie ended up asking Howard what happened between him and Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams that time that he saw them out at dinner one night. Howard explained to Artie that he and Beth were out, they saw Heath and Michelle out and they kind of blew him off when he went over to say hello to them. He said that he complained about it on the air one day and Heath called him after hearing that and apologized for what had happened. He said that he was very nice about it afterward but they were kind of dicky to him when he said hello. He said it turned out he wasn't that much of a dick.

Artie said that this story about Heath dying is really hitting him hard this week. Howard said that maybe this will straighten him out and he'll stop with the drinking and drugs because of Heath's death. They had to go to break a short time later.

Gary Asks Howard For Opinion On Primary Election. 01/28/08. 10:00am
After the break Howard came back and Gary asked if he wanted to talk about the stuff they were talking about during the break. Howard wasn't going to do it because it was getting late but ended up talking about voting in the primary. Gary said that he was looking at both Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama and they're almost identical policy wise. Howard told him to just flip a coin then.

Gary said that the guys in the office were talking about it and told him that he should go for Barak. Howard said that he might have to tell Gary what to do because the last time he voted, he voted for David Dinkens for some dopey reason.

Howard said that if he's on the democratic side of this he should probably vote for Hillary. He said that he's just giving his opinion on what to do. Gary said that he's not going to do what Howard says just because Howard tells him this is the way he should vote.

Howard told Gary that if he won't let him tell him what to do, then get the fuck out of the room. Gary kept interrupting him and wouldn't let him answer. Howard said that this isn't fun for him if he keeps interrupting.

Howard told Gary that he will probably vote for Hillary because she has experience being in the White House and working with her husband on health care and other issues. He said that having Bill Clinton in the White House would be a good thing. He said that he was good at being President and he'd have her ear if he was in there. You get two for the price of one and he likes that deal. Robin said that some people are upset about that and that's exactly what they don't want. Howard likes it and he thinks it could be good for the country. He said that she'd have a built in aide in Bill and that's good.

Howard told Gary to just vote for the person he thinks would be the best person and not worry about what would happen in the election. Sal was in Gary's office goofing on Gary wearing his Gary mask and having some fun with the whole decision making thing.

Fred threw in a Baba Booey song parody that had Artie cracking up. He said he kind of liked that one and goofed on Gary a little bit himself.

Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/28/08. 10:05am
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Steve said that they have a story about Nodoro, the penis deodorizer, possibly being snatched up by Pfizer. They also have a story about Artie going to Iraq and how they're going to protect him with body armor. Artie said that he's been hearing a lot about what you have to do over there when you go and there are going to be a lot of unpleasant nights. He said that he thinks he's going to feel good about it and he has to go through with it

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