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HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-29-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 128K MP3 CF torrent

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Pinworm Discussions. 01/29/08. 6:00am
Robin Squeezed Out In L.A. Last Week. 01/29/08. 6:10am
Howard Irked By Picture Taken In His Chair By Doug Goodstein. 01/29/08. 6:15am
KC Armstrong Calls In. 01/29/08. 6:55am
High Pitch Eric Calls In. 01/29/08. 7:00am
Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/29/08. 7:10am
Joe's Giant Rubber Band Ball. 01/29/08. 7:15am
Various News Stories And Rants. 01/29/08. 7:35am
Scott The Engineer Dissed Again And Again. 01/29/08. 7:50am
Gary Garver Interviews. 01/29/08. 8:05am
What's Artie Hiding? 01/29/08. 8:30am
Penthouse Girls Erica Ellyson And Prinzzess Visit. 01/29/08. 8:40am
Artie Having Too Much Fun And Popping Subutex Pills. 01/29/08. 9:35am
Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/29/08. 9:55am
Robin's News. 01/29/08. 10:00am
Wrap Up Show - Doug Goodstein's Baby Picture. 01/29/08. 10:55am
Wrap Up Show - Stern Show Office Lockdown. 01/30/08. 11:15am
Wrap Up Show - Scott The ''Buzz Kill'' Engineer. 01/30/08. 11:25am
Howard 100 News

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Pinworm Discussions. 01/29/08. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: A Crank Yankers prank call by Kevin Nealon to a woman about a used car, Perry Farrell and Satellite Party performing ''Been Caught Stealing'' live in Howard's studio.

Howard started off the show talking about how he had pinworms when he was a little kid. He said that Greg Fitzsimmons did his show last night and he was saying that his kid had pinworms. He said that he remembers when he had them when he was a kid and he probably got them from playing in the dirt. He said that his ass itched all the time from what he remembers and he's not sure how his mother knew that he had them. Robin said he probably dragged himself across the carpet like a dog does.

Howard remembered that he had to bring in a stool sample so his mom had him shit in a cardboard box. He said he has to call his mother later to ask her about that. He said he remembered shitting in the box and he could see the worms living in the shit. Robin said she had a dog that had them and she remembered seeing them in the shit too.

Artie said that it would be great if there was a reincarnation thing and Hitler came back as a pinworm living in someone's shit. He wondered what would happen if you never took care of those worms and he was still itching down there. Howard said he'd probably still be dragging his ass across the carpet. They talked about how that kind of stuff must have driven people nuts back in the old days when they couldn't take care of that.

Howard said that he had a lot of stuff to get to this morning. He had a couple of Penthouse Pets coming in and also a guy who has a giant rubber band ball. He said that the ball is bigger than his car and he wants to know why a black guy is into that stuff. He said that he's standing on the ball in the picture and it looks taller than his house.

Howard said that guy looks kind of nerdy but he is trying to look cool in the picture. Artie said he took a closer look and he did think that he was kind of nerdy.

Robin Squeezed Out In L.A. Last Week. 01/29/08. 6:10am
Howard said that he wasn't able to get up this morning. He went and worked out yesterday and he was working out with one of these American Gladiator chicks. He said that she was really strong too. He said that he tried to keep up with her and now he's really hurting. He said she had a perfect chiseled body and her stomach was really flat.

Howard said the woman was telling him about some of the stuff she does on that show and how much fun she has doing it. He said that it sounded pretty wild to him. He said she looked really good too. He's not into working out with women who can beat him up though.

Howard asked Robin about the story she told about going out to California and how she kind of forgot about that. He asked her how long she was out there. She said she was there for maybe 24 hours last Friday. She flew out on Thursday night and had to see someone out there so she spent just the day. It turns out she had to use a machine out there that they don't have in New York. It's an EEPC machine that squeezes her and helps her out with her fat.

Artie didn't get that and asked her why she goes out there to get squeezed. She said that it's all about recirculating the blood in your lower body back into your upper body. Howard figured that she had to pay a lot of money to fly out and back and to use that machine. Robin said that it's part of her health regimen and she has to do it.

Howard Irked By Picture Taken In His Chair By Doug Goodstein. 01/29/08. 6:15am
Howard said that Robin and Beth threw a baby shower for his hair stylist Toni who is having her fourth kid. He said that he can't believe she's doing that and she's going to have four boys now. He said that he got kind of irked by something and he wasn't sure if he even wanted to bring it up. Artie told him that means it's good so he should talk about it.

Howard said that Beth came home yesterday and he really does feel bad for her that she's with him. He said that he really loves her and he's very blessed but she's not that lucky to have him. He said that this is very silly and he shouldn't bring it up. He said he told Gary about it and said that it wasn't going to come up on the air. He said that Beth told him that Doug Goodstein showed up at the baby shower and he found that kind of surprising but that's not what bugged him.

Beth told Howard that Doug stopped by with his baby and then he heard that Doug had taken a picture of himself with the baby in his chair in the studio. He said he started to get really bummed out about that and it started to eat away at him. He said that it was making him nuts that someone would do that to him. He said he knows that people will sit in someone's chair like that and it's no big deal. He said that if Doug had asked him to do that, he'd be fine with it. Robin said that it's just Doug too and it's not someone that he doesn't trust messing with his stuff, like Cabbie having sex in the studio.

Howard said that he loves Doug and it's really not a big deal. Artie told Howard he thinks that he's overreacting. He said that it's Doug and he's known him for 14 years. Howard said that sometimes his equipment gets messed with and it takes forever to get it back the way it was so that kind of stuff bothers him. He said he doesn't know if Doug's kid was messing with the equipment or not.

Howard said that everyone is right, he shouldn't make a big deal out of it. He said he wasn't going to bring it up to his shrink or not after the guys suggested that he do that. He said he wants out of therapy so bad. Robin told him that this shows that he still has to go.

Doug came in so Howard asked him if he's out of his mind. Doug told him that it was just he and his little kid, she wasn't touching anything. He said that it was kind of cute. He brought his daughter to work and it was a fun day. Howard told him that maybe he should have taken a picture of her in his chair instead. Doug said he did that too. Doug told him that this is crazy and obsessive. He said that it's no different than the cleaning lady touching his chair.

Howard said that when Doug does this it makes people think that it's okay for others to do it too. Doug said that's not going to happen. Howard asked him if it's okay to put his daughter on the Sybian. Doug told him to stop with that. He asked what would happen if Jason came in and took a picture in the chair with someone. He said that if Doug had come to him and said that he was going to do this, he'd be fine. He said that it's just a courtesy.

Howard asked if it's okay for Jason to bring a nephew in there and take a picture in the chair. Doug said that would be fine in his mind. Howard told everyone to feel free and come in and take pictures. He said that Doug thinks that it's okay so he shouldn't think that much about it and let everyone do it.

Fred was asked if he'd do something like that and he said he knows better. He said that he would never do it because he knows that Howard would be bugged by this. He said that he's a germ-phobe and he wouldn't want to get him sick and take the blame for it.

Howard said that Fred isn't one of these freaks with a camera who has to take pictures constantly. Fred said that's true, he's not that obsessive about pictures. Howard said that Doug is a nut and most people don't go around taking pictures of everything. Robin said that Howard's dad would take him to his job and record stuff. Howard said that's not the same, that was his dad's recording studio, this isn't Doug's studio.

Howard said that he has never even had his own daughters sit in that chair. Robin said that he had to have done that at some point but he insisted that he hadn't. Robin asked if the people who wanted to sit in the captain's chair on the set of Star Trek should have to ask William Shatner to take pictures in that chair. Howard said that they should have to go and ask the producer of the show.

Doug said that he didn't even thinks that much about that picture and if he had, he would have asked Howard for his permission before doing it. Doug joked that he was sitting on a towel that was the property of the TV show so he should get off of that. He was just joking though and said he was stretching a little bit.

robin said that this is a TV set and Howard shouldn't worry about it. He said that it was SIRIUS' property but Doug said that it's actually a joint project and it was both SIRIUS and In Demand's studio.

Robin said that she thinks that she may have had her nephew sit in that chair and take pictures too. She apologized for doing that because she had no idea that she was doing wrong. Howard asked if Scott Greenstein should be allowed to bring anyone in there to sit in his seat. Robin said that would be wrong and so would the interns. Howard asked where the cut-off is. They were bringing up people like JD and Benjy and others and Robin said that it would be wrong for JD. She thinks that he should have to ask.

Robin said that the only person she never wanted in her room was Daniel Carver. She said she was afraid of him, that's why. Doug asked if they should get a different chair to sit in back there so they can have some pictures taken. Howard said that Doug should be allowed to do whatever he wants. He said that he really thinks that if he wants to do a photo shoot, he should have to get permission.

Howard said that he's not even sure what's so special about his chair. He said that it seems to be a power trip and it shows what he can get away with there. He said that the only reason he took the picture is because it's Howard Stern's chair. He said that he's a real human being and he's not Captain Kirk.

Howard said that Beth told him about this picture and he went nuts when he heard about it. He said that it shouldn't be a big deal but it has turned into one now. Howard said that Doug stole a camera on 9/11 but Doug said he broke into a store to feed firemen. He said that they used a store to feed them and the cops and firemen are the ones who broke the windows to get into the place. He didn't want to get into that.

Howard asked if it's okay for JD to bring in his niece to take pictures. Doug said that would be fine in his opinion. Artie said that he'd tell people not to go anywhere near that chair.

Robin asked Doug if it would be okay for her to bring someone in and sit in Scott DePace's director's chair. Doug said that would be fine, she can have anyone sit in there. Doug said that his daughter didn't touch anything, she sat there for 2 seconds so he could take a picture. Robin said that they should auction off the chance to sit there.

Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that it's just a chair and she can't believe that he's going this crazy. Howard said that she must be the voice of sanity and she must be right. He said that anyone who wants to sit there can sit there without permission. He said he doesn't even get why anyone would want to sit there. Robin said that if he got to see the Space Shuttle, wouldn't he want to sit in the captains chair. Howard said no but Robin thinks that anyone would want to sit there and that's what his chair is like.

Doug said that he wasn't trying to sneak this picture in and he really didn't catch him doing anything wrong. Doug asked Howard if he's going to put his kid in the chair when he and Beth finally have a kid. Howard told him he's not having a kid and he wouldn't sit them in that chair.

Howard said that he wanted to know where Doug's car was so he could sit his kids in his car. Doug said that anyone can do anything they want to his stuff, except shit in his bed. Howard told everyone he just wants people to ask him if it's okay to do something like that. Doug asked if he would hold his kid if he brought her in. He said he would never do that but he wanted to know. Howard said he has no desire to hold anyone's kid and anyone who makes you pose with their kid is sick.

Doug said that he wouldn't put his kid on that couch they have in the studio because of all of the porn stars that have sat there. He said he knows that Howard is clean. Howard told him that he should go have his kid sit in Mel Karmazin's chair. Doug said he doesn't work there, that's why he wouldn't do that. He doesn't think that this is disrespectful at all and told Howard to take some calls about this.

Howard took a call and the guy told him that he's out of his mind with this stuff. He said that it makes for great radio but he's fuckin' crazy. Howard said that everything is loosie goosie around there. Doug said that he never disrespects Howard and that's not what he was doing with this.

Tim Sabean came in and said that they were going through the names of the people who they think have no business being in the offices there. He said that they want people to stay the fuck out of that area. He said that they just wander around there and they think that it's okay. Howard said that it makes him crazy when he sees people that don't belong back there wandering around. He said that he has to ask Ross to stay out of there because it isn't a club house.

Gary said that they used to have a lot of technical people on the list of people who were allowed back there and they had to cut that list down to stop the people from coming in. Tim said that people claim they have a lot of important work to do there and that's just not the case and he wants them to stay the fuck out of there.

Tim said that if someone hits the board or the buttons on the console, it can screw things up. Doug told Tim to go kiss Howard's ass more. He said he would never touch anything over there and he didn't let his daughter do that. He knows that Howard is going to tell him after this that it was just a bit for radio.

Double A called in and said he agrees with Howard about all of this and he would never do something like Doug did. Fred said that he's not sure he'd take his word for this because he's a name dropper and he's heard things about him taking stuff that doesn't belong to him and things like that. Howard said that Double A has a picture of him on his business card too and it true that Double A is name dropping. Double A said he doesn't claim that he works for Howard but he is part of the show.

Double A wanted to tell Howard not to ruin that perfect body of Beth's. He said that he saw Jessica Alba on Letterman last night and she looks horrendous.

Bobo called in and said that he got a tour of the studio one time and they were all told that they aren't to go anywhere near the console. He said that they were up there to do the Superfan Roundtable show and they were all kept away from that stuff. Howard said that he wants a velvet rope set up around his console so people will stay away form that stuff.

Robin asked Howard if he would let his father sit in the chair. Howard said his father would never come up there and do that. He said that Doug wouldn't let his kid sit on the couch in there because of germs, he's feeling the same way about his chair, he doesn't want everyone sitting in that chair and putting their germs on it.

Robin said that Doug wasn't giving Howard the shiv by putting his daughter in the chair. He wasn't trying to disrespect him at all, he never disrespects him like that. Tim said he thinks that it's innocent but no one should ever be behind that console other than Howard.

Bobo asked if they had more free reign over at K-Rock. Howard said that it was worse over there, they let anyone in that studio and anyone could sit in there.

Doug said that he got thrown out of the baby shower yesterday and he's not sure why. Howard told him that it's a ladies shower and he had no business being there. Doug said he showed up at the end of the party. Howard said that's not what happened, he showed up an hour into it. Robin said it was more like an hour and a half. She said that when his wife called him, he was there within seconds. Doug said it was only 6 blocks away.

Howard said that the girls saw Doug staring at them with those bug eyes of his and that's why they threw him out. He said that they wanted to do some girl talk and they didn't want a man in there. Howard said he just wants people to stay off his chair or at least ask his permission. Fred told Howard to lock that chair up because Doug is planning on having more kids and he'll probably be bringing them in. Howard told Doug to take a picture of the chair and just photoshop the kid into it.

Artie did an impression of Doug's kid and told Howard that she took a steaming shit in his chair. He also said that his father was a lunatic. Howard said that Doug didn't bother putting his kid into Benjy's chair. He kicked Doug out after that and said that twas the first hour of the show taken care of.

KC Armstrong Calls In. 01/29/08. 6:55am
Howard took a call from KC Armstrong who said that he never sat in his chair. He said that he did drop off some eels in his shitter one time though. Howard gave KC some plugs for his Rio Heroes web site. They weren't going to have him on the show but KC e-mailed Gary and told him about all of this stuff that was going on with him and it didn't sound good so they let him call in.

KC has all kinds of teeth problems and a double hernia as well. He's a mess. He told Howard about the hernia and how freaky that looks. He said that he used to have an innie belly button but now it's an outie. Artie said that Howard has an outie too. Howard said that's an Audi, not an outie.

KC said that he sharted yesterday too when he was e-mailing Gary because he was so nervous about everything. He thanked Howard for letting him plug this stuff and said that they're still his family. He got off the phone a short time later.

Artie said that KC always wanted to go to California and he really likes it out there. Robin said that things don't sound that good for him though.

Howard and the guys spent a few more minutes talking about Doug's picture in the chair. Artie asked if he thinks that Rob Burnett would ever do that over at Letterman and have his kid sit in Letterman's chair. Howard said that Rob would never even think of doing that because he's too busy and too creative to sit his kid in Letterman's chair.

Artie said that he likes that Fred said that he would never do this because he knows that this is what would happen. Fred said that's right and he's not sure what show Doug works for because he should know that this is what would happen too. Artie said that if he's going to sit his kid in Howard's chair, he should stick the kid on the couch too.

High Pitch Eric Calls In. 01/29/08. 7:00am
Howard said he had to take a break but he's got some other stuff to get to this morning. He said he had High Pitch on the phone to give an update on his court case. He got him on the phone and asked for the update. High Pitch said something about this woman who had reported him to the cops. He said that she called him and asked him to be her friend again but he told her no. Howard told him that's the right thing to do and he should avoid her and stay out of trouble.

Howard said that he's happy to hear that he's not calling her. Eric said that he's staying busy working and he's also been working with Eric the Midget on that Johnny Fratto Social Club web site JFSC.tv. Howard was going to let him go but Eric told Artie about the woman he brought to the comedy show the other night. He said it wasn't the chick that he threatened, it was someone else that he's known for 3 years. Howard let him go and went to break a short time later.

Lisa G's Howard 100 News Preview. 01/29/08. 7:10am
After the break Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. She said that they have a lot of stuff coming up. They have a story about Scott DePace going down to Florida for a PGA product convention to sell his Video Caddy. She had some tape of him yelling at her so Howard played that. Scott ended up going off on her when she asked how many he sold. He said that he sold plenty and asked her what kind of money she makes. Scott said that he sold enough to make the trip pay for itself 5 times over.

Scott came in and said that he did sell more than 10 when Howard asked him about that. Scott said that they have new software to go along with the Video Caddy and they're trying to figure out which way to go with that. Howard said he didn't care and sent him away.

Lisa said that she spoke to Dr. Brady from the Marshall Chess Club where Howard went to play last week. She said that he said that Howard was actually very good at the game. Howard said that he'd like her to leave the man alone. She said that they really didn't care that Howard had walked into the room there either. Lisa said that Scott Ferrall is going to Arizona for the Super Bowl and he's going to have a bunch of Hooter's girls there with him.

Joe's Giant Rubber Band Ball. 01/29/08. 7:15am
Howard took a call from Mutt who said that they lock up Dave's chair out at his show so no one can sit in it. He said that he got a tour one time and that's what he was told about that. Howard thanked him for that and moved on a short time later. He said that he has this guy Joe Waul calling in to talk about this giant rubber band ball he has. He said that he's a black dude and he finds that kind of weird, it's usually a white thing.

Howard asked Joe if he's a nerdy black guy. Joe said that he's really not, but he does work at the Gap. He said that he stocks the shelves there at night. Howard asked him how old he is. He's 26 and he started this ball when he was 22. Howard wondered what would possess him to do this. He said it seems like a waste of time. Joe said that he thinks that he could do his ball better than the old balls. He said that his will weigh about twice as much as the current record holder. He said that he got 5000 pounds from a sponsor and they helped him out with that.

Joe said that he lives in his aunt's house and not at his parent's house. He said that he gets to live there for free. Howard wondered if he gets laid, or if he ever got laid. Joe said that he's not a virgin but he hasn't gotten laid in about a year. Howard said he'd put more energy into getting laid rather than this rubber band ball.

He said that the rubber bands on this ball look like they're specially made. He said that they are huge rubber bands that are made for furniture. He said that he's constantly adding to it and it sits outside of his house all the time. He said that people tell him he's wasting his time but lately they've changed their minds.

Joe said that he hasn't filed to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. Artie asked him if he would get upset if someone sat their kid on the ball and took a picture. He said he wouldn't.

Howard asked Joe if he would be the one black guy at a Van Halen concert. He said he's into Marilyn Manson and rap and pretty much everything else. Howard asked him some other questions trying to figure this guy out. He asked if he plays chess or something like that. He said he doesn't.

Gary said that he's heard that if these rubber bands snap back when he's putting them on, they can rip through his pants. Howard asked him how many women he's had in his life. He said that it's probably 4 or 5. Howard said that he's still young so he has time to get more.

Howard asked Joe what else he's working on. He said that he's going to go for a record of the most needles in his face. Howard tried to give him some advice and told him not to be sticking needles in his face. He's doing stupid things and he really doesn't need to do this. Joe said that he is thinking of going back to school for zoology. He said he'd like to study animals but he doesn't like water and he can't swim so he won't be doing anything in the water.

Howard told Joe to get to work and make a future for himself. Joe said that he's hoping to be able to take this rubber band ball to car shows and stuff. Howard said he likes this guy and he wished him luck with Guinness. Artie told him to call them when the ball gets to 20,000 pounds. Joe said that he's going to throw it out of an airplane when it gets that big. Howard asked him if he's ever rubbed up against the ball and had sex with it. He said he never did. He's not in love with the ball either.

Howard asked if the ball has a name. Joe said that it's called either Nugget or Megaton. He said that he once got hit in the balls by a snapped rubber band and he was knocked out for about 15 minutes. Artie got a laugh out of that. Artie asked him if he likes that song Rubber Band Man. Joe said that he's not a fan of that.

Howard asked Joe who he is supporting in the election. Joe said that it will probably be Hillary Clinton. Howard said he might call the campaign headquarters and tell them that Rubber Band Man Joe Waul support her.

Howard said that Joe is still working on his ball but he's probably got the official world's largest ball. He just has to get the confirmation from Guinness. Howard asked if he's every thought about making a giant ball of feces. Joe said that he'd probably pass out trying to make something like that.

Howard let Joe go a short time later. Artie said that's pretty impressive if you ask him. Robin said that he could probably have a giant ball of drugs if he had saved them instead of doing them.

Various News Stories And Rants. 01/29/08. 7:35am
Howard said that there was a picture of Bud Selig in the paper picking his nose. He said that he was in front of congress and picking something out of there. Robin asked him if he watched the State of the Union address. Howard said he missed it, he was watching Celebrity Rehab that he had recorded. Gary said that they may be talking to Jeff Conoway soon about the show.

Howard read some articles about the XM/SIRIUS merger and how people just want it to go through already. He read one article where they list other mergers and how long they took to go through. The chevron/Texaco merger went through in less time. There were some other companies like phone companies that went through in much less time.

Howard said he had another article about an advertiser that's suing Don Imus over some disparaging remarks he made about their company. Howard said that the guy is shitting all over this company and they have every right to sue and he hopes that they win.

Howard said that they have a lot more to get to today. He said that he's going to get to the Gary Garver stuff after the break. He has some stuff about Benjy and some Richard Simmons crying clips to play too. He was talking about how right Tim Sabean was about keeping the halls clear there of all people they don't need back there in the offices.

Howard said that they were going to start blocking the people who don't need key access to that area. He said that he loves Scott Greenstein but he uses his card to come back and use their bathrooms. He said that Ross does that as well and it's making him nuts.

Howard said that it's like a social club back there and he wants it stopped. Gary said that JD told him that on Friday it's the SIRIUS tour day and they bring people through there. Howard said they have to put a stop to that as well. He complained about all of that for a few minutes and then went to break.

Scott The Engineer Dissed Again And Again. 01/29/08. 7:50am
After the break Howard came right back and ended up talking about Eminem who had done a promo for the show that they played as they were coming back. He and Robin wondered what he was up to these days. Howard said he heard that he was creating a giant rubber band ball.

Howard said he heard that there's a satellite that's failed and it's supposed to come crashing down sometime in the next couple of weeks. He quickly went over that and then said he was going to get to the Gary Garver stuff.

Fred played a clip of Scott the Engineer saying ''Fuck everyone!'' and that led to Howard talking about Scott's black cloud and how he had to pay an extra $10 to park a car that he doesn't usually drive there. Howard said that everyone else gets away with it and they let them slide, but not Scott. Scott said that it's got to be him. He said that he even gave the guy a nice Christmas gift.

Howard heard that Scott was pissed that he wasn't going to Amsterdam with the rest of the guys for Jason's bachelor party. Scott said he wasn't mad, all he said was that he wasn't invited. He said Doug Goodstein asked him and he told him he just wasn't invited. Howard said that Scott was the only one who wasn't invited to Will's wedding too. Scott said that he's used to that now.

Howard asked Will why he didn't invite Scott. Will came in and said that Scott is the cut off. He said that he invited some of the interns and he's really not that friendly with Scott. He said he felt like he had to invite some people, but not Scott. He said he's really a buzz kill at parties and he's glad he didn't invite him. He said that he isn't hurt over it. Scott told Will that he's an asshole but he said he was already over it.

Howard said that he doesn't get the bachelor party and how Jason is making people fly to Amsterdam. Jason came in and said he's not making anyone do anything they don't want to. He's always wanted to go there and that's what he's doing. He said that he didn't ask any married guys to go and he never even thought about inviting Scott. He said that he is a buzz kill and he probably wouldn't have gone anyway. Scott said that's him, Buzz Kill Salem.

Howard said that he was going to have a little wedding for him and Beth and Scott was probably going to be left off of that invite list. He said that they had it figured that they were going to do something private for the family and then do some stuff with friends. He said he wanted to keep it down to 80 people and that was it. He didn't want to be Fred and get married on a beach and not invite anyone. Fred said that it was much easier that way. Fred said he has no problem with his friends resenting him over that.

Robin pointed out the wedding thing and how he got upset with her for going out to dinner with Howard for his birthday. She said he had no right to get mad at her for that when he didn't invite her to his wedding.

Howard said that Beth came up with a list of people for this party and she had some other famous people on the list. He said that he wasn't sure he wanted to do that because famous people are expecting to see other famous people, not getting stuck sitting next to Scott the Engineer.

Howard said that the problem getting married is that they have all of these people he works with. He said that it's the difference between having 80 people and 130 people. He said that if he invites any of this group from work, he has to invite them all. He said that Benjy has to be on the list of the second group, not the main group of Robin, Fred, Artie and Gary.

Fred suggested that they get a screening room and stick the second tier of people somewhere that they can watch the other party for the first tier. Howard said that if he goes that ''Fab Five'' route and invites no one else, he'd be fine. If he invites Jason and Will, then other people will feel hurt. He said that there's no way that Sal is going to get invited no matter what. He said that he was talking to Beth about that and how she said that she would never let him come because of the names that he's called her in the past. He said that she goes berserk when his name comes up.

Sal came in and said that he feels like he's kind of paid for those Hampton's weekends that they have, indirectly, and he's gotten past all of that stuff and he's kept his mouth shut since he upset Beth. Sal ended up comparing himself to Hitler's soldiers who threw the Jews into the ovens. Fred said it seemed like he was about to blame Howard for all of that stuff he said about Beth.

Howard said that Richard is fine coming to the wedding. Beth has no problem with him. Robin said that Sal and Beth were actually close for a while until he let loose with his jokes. He blew it.

Howard said that he and Beth talked about this Sal thing and she's never going to let him come. She would let Sal's wife come to the wedding though. Howard said that they should have her there and let her bring her emotional friend with her. Sal said he can live with that if that's really Beth's wish.

Howard said he knows that he's going to hurt a lot of people by not inviting them. He said that he's got other friends that he has to invite and they don't work with him. He said that Jimmy Kimmel wants to know when he's getting married because a friend of his is getting married this year too. Howard said that he is inviting Jimmy because he's so close to him. He's a definite invite. If he invites him to that he'll have to invite John Stamos. He's not sure about Sam Simon but Beth wants him there because she wants him there.

Sal said that it sounds like Howard is letting Beth control this whole wedding thing and he's letting her wear the pants in that relationship. He thinks that Howard really wants him there and he's letting Beth control it. Howard said that he's probably not even going to have the second tier guys there anyway.

Howard said that there's no way he's going to be able to keep it to 80 people. He said that it's almost impossible to do that.

Gary Garver Interviews. 01/29/08. 8:05am
Howard moved on to the Gary Garver clips he had. He said that Garver was out at the Director's Guild Awards show and got an interview with Vanessa Williams. He said that she still looks good and she's a huge fan of the show from what he heard. He played that interview and Garver asks her what she likes best about herself. She says that she has a sense of humor about whatever is brought to her. Then Garver asks her if she considers herself a B, C or D celebrity. She said B. He asked her if Tom Cruise is nuts. She said she watched a Jerry O'Connell parody of Tom Cruise's Scientology tape and it was pretty on spot. She said that he's passionate about something.

Garver asked Vanessa if she's worried about Artie Lange's health. She said that she listens to him every day and she would like to help him get healthy. Garver asked her if she's ever had sex in her movie trailer. She said she did that once in a B-movie she did one time. She didn't say the name of the guy but they looked him up and found out that his name was Sam Jones. He played Flash Gordon in a movie that she was in.

Garver also asked her to describe Howard in one word. She said that he's amazing. The guys talked about how into the show she seems to be and how cool that was. Artie asked her to come out and help him out with his diet so he can bang her. Howard told Gary to call Vanessa and ask her if she'd bang Artie if he lost 100 pound in four months.

Howard said that Hal Holbrook was up next with Garver. He said that he's in a new movie called ''Into the Wild.'' Howard said that he got irritated with Gary pretty quick. In the clip Garver asked Hal if he misses the spotlight. Hal asked in what sense he means that. Garver asked him if he's been doing anything lately. Hal told him about the movie that he was there to talk about and how he had worked with Sean Penn. Then Garver asked him if he's tired of the Jews running the entertainment business. Hal said that was a ridiculous question and told him that it wasn't good thinking. Garver asked him if he had ever had sex in his trailer and he walked away.

Up next was John Laroquette. Howard played that one and Garver has some trouble getting his line out. He asked John about some Anti-Semitic remarks that Mel Gibson made but he wasn't able to get out the words. There wasn't much of a response from John.

Howard played the next interview with Chris O'Donnell. Garver asked him if he had any funny stories about Artie. Chris said that he was just listening to the show in his car. He said he didn't have any good stories and Artie seemed to have the good stories to tell himself. Chris said that he is worried about his weight though. He said it looks like Artie is having a good time and he'd hate to see him kill himself. Garver asked him if he thinks that Artie could have banged Renee Zellwegger like he claimed he could have. Chris said he thinks that maybe he should have tried. Gary asked him if he's ever had any sex partners that had smelly genitals. Chris said that they do have to keep clean or he wouldn't be with them. Garver asked Chris to describe Howard in one word but he gave him ''he's the man.''

Up next was John Daly. Garver asked him some questions about OJ, Britney Spears and things like that. Daly said that he loves Britney Spears and he'd love to have her baby sit him. He said that he doesn't care about what other people think about her. Gary asked John if he listens to the Howard Stern Show. John said he does. He asked him to describe him in one word. He said ''Funny in a dirty way.'' Garver asked him about voting for a Scientologist for President. Daly didn't know what a Scientologist was. He asked him a few more questions about having a partner with smelly genitals. John said that he has but after 5 minutes or so you don't worry about it anymore.

Howard said that Garver got an interview with Taylor Hicks from American Idol. He asked Taylor if he listens to Howard. He said that he actually does and he'd do the show. He said that maybe Howard is the one with smelly genitals after Garver asked him about that. Howard said that his penis probably does smell because he pees on his balls and it just gets stinky down there. He said he doesn't like to touch his penis when he goes to the bathroom and just lets it dribble down his balls. He said that he doesn't want to wash his hands so he doesn't touch it. Howard said that all of this stuff goes through his head and it's always a conversation in there.

That smelly balls conversation led to Artie bringing up Jim Florentine's balls and then Howard was asking her if his balls are as big as Jim claims they are. Robin said that she has no idea what he's talking about. She said that she and Jim are waiting for marriage before they have sex. She was giggling when she said it though. The guys asked her if she would marry Jim if he asked her to do that. Robin just laughed. Fred did his Jim impression and asked Robin to marry him. Howard thinks that Robin will eventually be married even though she may not realize it now. She said ''whatever''' and didn't seem to believe that it was ever going to happen.

Howard moved on to another Garver interview with Tom Driessen. Garver started out with ''Do you miss the spotlight?'' Driessen told him that he's in the spotlight and he still does over 385 shows a year. Then he walked away. Howard said that might be the best question ever.

What's Artie Hiding? 01/29/08. 8:30am
Howard said that Artie's girlfriends were there. Artie got to hang out with these two hot chicks when he was out in Vegas recently. Artie said that he had no story to tell about either one of them. He said that he was into the girl who was from Belize, Prinzzess. He said that he didn't want to get into some of the story but Howard said that they had to talk about it on the air. Artie said that it was a long story and he didn't want to get into it all. He said that no one is going to get any of this. Howard said that the ending to the story was the best part and wondered why Artie didn't want to tell it. Artie said he'd tell it some other time.

Howard said he can't believe that Artie didn't bang these chicks. Artie said that the girls were in his room and hung out for a while but then they left. He didn't have sex with them. He said that they didn't get naked either. Howard asked him a few questions about getting his finger in them but he said that didn't happen either. He swore to god that it didn't happen.

Howard asked if he really shot pool with them. He said that they did hit the ball around but they didn't really play. He said that they could ask Teddy if they wanted to and he'll confirm the story. Artie also said that he never snorted coke off their asses. Howard asked him if he ever did that with a woman. Artie said that he actually did. Howard said that he had to take a break before bringing the girls in. He checked out the picture that Artie had with the girls and said that it looks like he was trying to cop a feel. Artie said that he had a good time hanging out with the girls at the AVN Awards.

Howard said he has to ask the girls why they didn't at least blow Artie after the AVNs. Artie aids he'd like to know that as well. Howard said he's not sure which girl he'd want over the other. He asked Artie which one he'd pick. Artie was still going with the girl from Belize. He said he really likes that one. Howard went to break a short time later.

Penthouse Girls Erica Ellyson And Prinzzess Visit. 01/29/08. 8:40am
After the break we heard a prank call the guys made using clips of John the Stutterer yelling at Ralph. Fred also played some Robert Plant ''Big Log'' as they were coming back. That led to the guys talking about the Led Zeppelin reunion tour that might be starting up in September. Howard said that he's sick of it already and it hasn't even started yet. He said that he doesn't want to see these people all old.

Howard said that these two girls hooked up with Artie out in Vegas when he was out there for the AVN awards. He said that one of the girls goes by the name Prinzzess. Her real name is Sarah and she said that it means Princess but the name Princess was already taken for a web site so she went with Prinzzess. Howard also introduced Erica Ellyson who was also at the AVN awards with Artie.

Erica said that she was able to get to Artie through Teddy. She said that she's single too so Howard asked her about what went on with her out in Vegas. He said that Prinzzess is engaged but Erica isn't. He wondered why they didn't do anything with him. Artie said he didn't even know it was a date but both of the girls said that it was a date.

Prinzzess said that she would go out with Artie even if it wasn't dinner and it was just hanging out. SHE said that she likes Artie but she has a fiancé and a girlfriend. She said that she hasn't fucked anyone else but she may have let someone put a finger in her. Artie asked if she was saying that she'd let him make out with her tonight. He said that he could take them to Letterman tonight. The girls seemed to like that idea.

Howard said he thinks that Artie may have been afraid to put the moves on the girls. They said that he was very nice and a gentleman. Howard asked if they were really playing pool that night in his hotel room. They didn't seem to remember that but Artie said there was a pool table right there in the room.

Howard asked the girls what they thought Artie wanted. One of the girls said that they must have intimidated him and he didn't go for it with them. Artie said that they're talking a big game right now, he got the vibe that they weren't into him. They said that they probably weren't interested in him that night.

Howard asked Erica if she was interested in him that night. She laughed but she said that she would have gone on a second date with him. Howard said that they have to commit to putting out if they're going to go to Letterman tonight. One of the girls said she's heading home this afternoon. Howard asked if either of the girls wanted to go. They both wanted to go to Letterman so Howard was trying to make a deal for Artie.

Howard said that Artie is going to go to Letterman and he's going to be in all his glory. He said that every comedian wants to be on Letterman and the girls would be treated like a queen over there. He said that they're going to take pictures of the girls on his arm and all of that good stuff. He said that when they go back to his room at the hotel, the girls will have to give him some treats. He said that a night with Artie will take them to the next level and out of the obscurity they're in. He said that joking around.

Howard asked Prinzzess what Artie could get if he took her to Letterman. She aids that it would depend on how nice he is. She said that he just has to be nice to her. Howard told her that Artie ended up putting his last girlfriend into his movie ''Beer League'' and that was a major motion picture. Artie laughed when he heard that.

Prinzzess said that she would kiss Artie if he brings her to the show with him. She said that she would kiss him on the lips and see how good of a kisser he is. Erica said that if Artie shaved his face, she'd be willing to do something like that. She said she'd also let him suck on her nipples a little bit. Artie said that this is like being back in 6th grade.

Howard said that this sounds like a good second date to him. Prinzzess said that maybe they could do a 3-way kiss. Then they said that it could turn into a threesome. Howard asked Artie if he had a hotel room there in the city. Artie said that the girls should have a room. He lives across the river in Hoboken but Howard told the girls he has a hotel room to use for girls.

Howard asked to see what the girls would look like kissing each other. They did a quick kiss and showed that off. Gary said that Prinzzess has a girlfriend and she's out in the green room, and she's super-fuckin-hot. Howard asked Prinzzess some questions about the girlfriend and what she does with her. She said that she doesn't really mess around with other guys or anything. Artie said that he got a lot of vague answers from her out in Vegas.

Prinzzess said that she brings some of these girls home with her sometimes so her man appreciates that. Howard said he wanted to see this girl so Gary brought her in. Howard said that she's really hot and asked why she's not in Penthouse. She said she's thinking about it. Howard asked how often she has sex with her. She said that they hook up whenever she's in town. She bartend's at a Gentleman's club in Ft. Myers, Florida (Escapades). She's 20 years old and Prinzzess is 21.

Howard asked the girls how they met. Prinzzess said she was doing a amateur show at the club when she met her. She said that she got her phone number and ended up kissing a little bit. She said that they had to be careful what they were doing back stage there. She said that they went home together that night and they did stuff while her boyfriend watched.

Howard asked the girls to demonstrate for them what they did that night. He had them taking each other's clothes off and showing them what they were doing that night that they got it on for the first time. Eric asked why her clothes were on and why Artie wasn't there taking her top off. Howard told her that they'd reenact this Letterman evening with her soon.

Howard said that Prinzzess was taking off her girlfriend Nicole's top. They were showing the guys what they did that night and explaining how the boyfriend got into it. Nicole said that she remembers jumping on top of the boyfriend to make him feel more comfortable. She said that she didn't really do anything to him, Prinzzess took care of that. She said that she didn't do anything that first night but it sounded like something may have happened at some other time.

Howard asked Nicole if her boobs were real and she claimed they were but Howard found that hard to believe. Prinzzess claimed hers were real too. Artie wanted to test but Howard was distracted and didn't seem to hear that. Artie said that he wasn't able to get these girls to even play pool that night he was with them.

Prinzzess said that she went and got her vibrator that night and used it on Nicole. Howard asked the girls to strip down completely so he could see what they looked like. Artie said he had to get out of the studio after that. He said that she's the hottest chick they've ever had in there.

Artie said that there's no way he can bring these girls with him to Letterman. He said he could never concentrate on what he has to get done over there if he does that. Howard told him he'll be fine, he has to take the girls with him. Howard asked the girls if Artie could kiss all of their boobs if he brings them to Letterman. The girls said that would be fine and Erica said that she'd even give him a hand job. Howard said that it sounded like he had a great deal but Artie said his head was going to explode.

Artie said he didn't think he'd remember what to say to Letterman if he brings the girls. He said that this date did sound like a great time. Howard said that if the girls don't come through, they have to come in and get spanked by the RoboSpanker or something. Robin said that wasn't much of a punishment.

Howard said that Erica looked amazing and so did Prinzzess. He said that they were really hot. Gary came in a short time later and said that Nicole might be the perfect woman. The guys in the office were all saying that. They had her posing against Robin's news booth and showing off her ass. That led to all three girls going over there to do the same thing. They had them all lined up there showing off their asses. Artie said that this is the greatest fuckin job ever.

Howard found out that Nicole has a boyfriend but he doesn't know that she's been with this other guy. She said that he owns the club that she works at. She said he probably knows now that he's listening to this show. Artie said that he's not going to mess around with her if she's dating the club owner.

Howard gave the girls their plugs and said that you can find out about this Penthouse Party that they're appearing at out in Phoenix. Find out more at ThePenthouseSuperParty.com. You can find out more about Prinzzess at Myspace.com/PrinzzessSahara and Erica at Myspace.com/EricaEllyson.

Artie said that he was taking his Subutex because he was going so nuts about this whole thing. He said that it was actually too much of a good thing.

The girls ended up spanking each other as they were wrapping up. They got in some really hard spanks and complained about it hurting. Artie told the girls to just hang out there all day on the show instead of doing anything else. Howard said that they'd never get anything done if they do that. Artie said that's the idea.

Erica got in a plug for her web site saying that she wants to start a girl on girl web site. You can find out more about that at BNOGirls.com

Howard said he had to do something with the girls before they leave. He asked if they wanted to sit on the Sybian. Prinzzess said that she and Nicole would sit on it. Artie was busy taking his Subutex pills and the TV guys said that he may have taken 3 of them. Artie said that he took a couple and he thinks that he can take 4 or 5 no problem. He said he was trying to figure out an agenda for tonight. He had to try and wipe off the white crap from his lips. The girls were worried that he might be dangerous and try to talk them into doing drugs. Howard told the girls he was fine.

Artie said that he needs to get his head together over all of this stuff. Howard didn't understand what the problem was there. Artie said that they should come to Letterman because his mom is going to get kicked out of the green room.

Gary said that before this segment Howard was saying that the Sybian is old and they weren't going to have the girls ride it. Now he's changed his tune completely. Howard said that his audience would get pissed if he didn't have them do something like this.

Howard had Prinzzess get on the Sybian and told Nicole that she was going to work on her as she was riding the machine. Howard told Nicole what to do and asked Prinzzess if she was going to make a lot of noise. She aid that she's not a screamer but she will make some noise. Gary started the machine up and she told him where to stop. Gary kept turning it up though so she had to ask for him to turn it down. Howard had Gary give it a little more juice and she and Nicole made out while that was going on.

Gary scared Prinzzess off the machine when he turned it up too high. Howard had Nicole get on it next. She took it for a ride but she hopped off of it too. She said that it didn't quite happen for her. Gary told her to sit down again and let him control it. He told her to close her eyes and tune them out. She tried it again and said that she wouldn't promise anything. She said that it felt like she was riding a friggin motorcycle. She told Gary it was too hard so Howard told him to take it down a little. She didn't get off so Howard gave up and wrapped up with the girls. He gave them some more plugs and let them get in some more mentions of the stuff that they were doing for Penthouse. Howard wished Artie luck with his Letterman appearance tonight and went to break a short time later.

During the break Vinnie Favale from Letterman's show called in and asked Artie what he needed back stage tonight. Artie and the girls told him what they need there and joked that he needed a bed. Artie told Vinnie to keep Paris Hilton away from these girls, they're his. Vinnie thought that something should happen with them and Artie before the appearance. He thinks that they're going to reneg on the agreement. Howard said that he trusts them.

Howard let Vinnie go a short time later. He told Artie that his lips were still white from the Subutex. He said that he can't drink water because it will screw up the Subutex.

Artie Having Too Much Fun And Popping Subutex Pills. 01/29/08. 9:35am
After the break we heard a prank call that Richard made to a guy about a porn collection he was selling. Fred also played some Van Halen ''Runnin With The Devil'' as they were coming back. Howard came back and said that Doug Goodstein told him that they're going to put the episode of those three girls up on Howard TV and never take it down, that's how good it was.

Howard asked Artie if the girls are going to be coming with him today. Artie said that he has to go down there early today and they will be showing up.

Howard asked Artie about the Subutex and why he had to take it. Artie said that when he starts having too much fun, he has to pop the pills. He said that anything that makes him excited makes him want to do heroin and he has to pop the pills. Robin said that this is very sad because he's having fun and all of a sudden he has to take those pills to knock himself back a notch.

Howard said that they had a picture of Artie and the three naked girls. He said he was envious of him right now because he's going to have Erica jerking him off. Artie was laughing and said that those girls really are extraordinary. He said that the 20 year old had a really amazing ass. He said that he can't imagine what's going on down in Florida, it's nutty.

Howard said that the girls were all the right height and looked really good. He asked the guys to throw out the pictures of the girls because it was making him nuts. Howard said that the girls told him that it's really going to go down tonight after the Letterman thing. He said that they know what to do. Fred did his Eric the Midget impression saying ''You know what to do...''

Artie said that he has an interesting set up to his life right now and it's just not right. Howard said he wanted to get off of this because it's bumming him out. Artie said that he's not bummed out, he's just under a lot of stress. He said that he's getting anxiety. He said that if someone had told him that he'd be doing this one day, he would have laughed at them. This is a lot of stress for him.

Artie said that they should get him a hotel room over there at Letterman. He usually turns them down but this time he might need one. He said that he might just take them back to his apartment. Howard told Artie to just get the hotel room and get some room service. He said he doesn't need to take those girls back to his place. David Spade did that and now look at what happened.

Artie said that he heard that these girls will save his load and get themselves pregnant. Howard told him that if he wants to call it all off, just let him know. Artie said that he doesn't want him to do that. He's very excited about this. He's very eager and wants to get it done with.

Howard 100 News And Wrap Up Show Previews. 01/29/08. 9:55am
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. Artie said that he'd better stay away from the girls. Steve said that they got a call from a fan who saw Jim and Robin going out to see ''Rambo'' on Saturday night. They saw the two of them holding hands the whole night. Howard asked Fred, as Jim, if they do everything together. He said that of course they do.

Steve said that they had another sighting of Gary who was at a Pediatrician's office getting tested for strep throat. Howard asked Gary if that's true. Gary said that his son went to get tested yesterday and he tested positive. He went in and tested at the same place to make sure he doesn't have strep. He said that it wasn't that big of a story. Howard goofed on him anyway.

Steve said that they have a story about Jimmy Kimmel talking about Adam Carolla's claims that he was offered Artie's job before Artie was. Steve will also have a story about a weight guessing game that's going on over at SaveBabyGorilla.com. They have all of that and a few other stories that they're working on for today's Howard 100 News.

Howard took another call from Vinnie Favale who suggested that they put all of Artie's people in a green room and he'll bring in just one person at a time so he has an audience instead of a crowd in the room with him. He said that it's always too much. Artie said that he brings a bunch of people with him and he'll let Vinnie handle it.

Vinnie said that when Artie is there, he's always got a ton of people in the room with him so he thinks that they should limit the number. Artie agreed to that. He said that it would be fine, whatever Vinnie wants to do. Howard said that's why Vinnie has that job, he knows how to coordinate all of that stuff. He let him go a short time later.

Howard said that Paris Hilton is going to be wondering what's up with this guy when she sees the fuss being made over him there. Artie said he might want to find out what Paris is up to and invite her to hang out with him and the girls. Howard said with those girls it might just happen.

Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Sh

Download HOWARD STERN SHOW FULL 1-29-2008 + FULL WRAP UP Show 128K MP3 CF torrent

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