War Of The Robots (1978)
aka La Guerra dei robot
From the director of War Of The Planets! (Oh shi-)
BMovie Central Review
Oh my god what an ordeal that was! This is one of those movies where you can't bring yourself to watch the whole thing all at once. You get antsy while you're watching it and end up stopping it to go do other things, only to return to it later to start the whole cycle all over again. I don't know. Maybe the fact that I'm getting screenshots and trying to write stuff while I'm watching it has a lot to do with it, but I can't tell you how many times I stopped this thing and went and did other stuff for a while during this review.
So, where to begin? Well, this movie is basically War of the Planets with a different story. Several of the actors have returned with different character names, but they're basically the same people they were in the earlier movie. The space ship and all it's interior props were recycled, the space walk scene was recycled at least three times and the alien command center was recycled from the previous movie as well. I don't want to give the impression that it was 100% recycled though, because it wasn't. There was in fact some new stuff in here as well. The light swords for instance. I mean, sure they were a blatant rip off of the light sabers in Star Wars, but at least they weren't recycled from War of the Planets. Then there were the nifty space fighters and their nifty cockpits that basically had nothing in them except a dork in a helmet and a flight stick. Oh, and I can't forget the wigs. The felt skull caps from the previous movie were replaced by either blonde mop wigs or nothing at all. At least most of the story was original. That's probably the most important thing.
Basically, the story is simple. Professor Carr has invented this atomic reactor thing that will supposedly create new life. The Anthorians are a race of people who had been working toward achieving immortality, but in the process, messed themselves up really bad. Now they needed Professor Carr and his research in order to survive and rejuvenate their race. All that's left of them really is a bunch of pruny old farts and a whole bunch of robots that look like they should be singing backup in an ABBA concert, so they're really desperate.
Now here's where things get a little confusing. The mop headed abba zabba robots come and kidnap Lois and Professor Carr, and a rescue mission from Earth goes after them. The problem is, Professor Carr left his reactor running and it's going to explode unless they can get either him back to shut it down, or get their hands on his formulas so they can shut it down themselves. Well when they finally track them down, Professor Carr and Lois are both working for the Anthorians, and it turns out that Lois is actually their empress. I think Professor Carr may have been under some kind of control, but I'm not sure. Anyway, the rest of the story is pretty convoluted and unimportant, but in the end, Julie gets together with John, they shut down the reactor, Lois ends up blown to bits, and all is right with the universe. Big freakin' deal.
The acting, as with the previous film, was basically cheesy and horrible. One of the funniest things, even though it didn't really have much to do with the acting, was the footsteps. Anytime there were people running around or even just walking around, there were these really loud and pronounced footsteps dubbed in. It's one of those things that once you notice it the first time, you notice it every time. I got this mental image of a bunch of guys in tap shoes stomping around on a hardwood floor with a guy on his hands and knees holding a microphone by their feet while the director was sitting off to the side going, "Just-a-pretend you're stompin' the grapes youse guys." It was stupid, but it was funny too, so that made it ok.
The special effects were absolutely pathetic. The only things that were semi cool were the light swords. The laser pistols had no visible shot effects at all. The end of the barrel just lit up and sometimes you'd hear a noise. Notice I said sometimes. There were a lot of times where there was no sound at all. Someone would point a gun at someone and then suddenly the guy they were pointing it at would just drop like he'd been shot. That's how cheap this movie is.
But what about entertainment value? Despite all the shortcomings any film may have, it all really just comes down to one thing. Did it entertain you? In this case, I'd have to say yes, but only because it was stupid and I happen to find really stupid, cheeseball movies entertaining. This movie falls into the "so bad it's funny" category, and there's a whole lot to laugh at all the way through it. It's also the kind of movie that would be a lot more fun to watch with a friend than it would be to watch it alone just so you can crack jokes all the way through it. So yes, despite any impression I might have given earlier in the review, I actually did enjoy this movie.